Sarge never willingly offers a chance to get pictures of a scene, so I know his bosses want this successful mission documented for propaganda. And shit, whatever the purpose, Worldwide News is the only news outlet here, so that’s a huge positive.
It still doesn’t mean I like having her out of my sight.
A few minutes pass as I finish packing my stuff up before a flurry of gunfire rings out through the silence of the village. Shots volley back from our position as soldiers scramble for cover.
For a split second I freeze. Memories collide with the present, and I swear to God I’m taken back to the frenzy of trying to find Stella. Sounds and smells and sights that don’t exist fill my head, fuck me up, until another spurt of gunfire followed by men shouting breaks through the hold the memories have over me.
Instinct takes over immediately. The need to survive, overcome, and live fuels my movements. I duck down and run for cover on the other side of the Stryker parked behind me, while thoughts of Beaux commingled with frantic panic fill my head.
The need to find her consumes me. An eerie silence falls over the village, dust particles dancing in the air, and my ears ring. My heart pounds in my ears and my blood feels like it’s mixed with jet fuel as it races through my body, causing my hands to shake, muscles to vibrate with fear-laced adrenaline.
Beaux.
I need to get to her.
She’s my only thought, my only motivation. It feels like minutes, but it’s probably only a few seconds of silence before I start to leave the cover of the vehicle to go and find her. As I step around the rear of the personnel carrier, I’m yanked backward by my vest and pushed through the open back doors of the Stryker at the same time the air around us erupts with more gunfire.
I scramble to get up and scurry back off, but Sarge is in my face, guys piling in around us. “Rosco’s got her,” he shouts, pushing me farther into the transport to make room.
And yeah, I believe him, but at the same time it’s pure chaos out there. How do I know that Rosco really has her? How do I know she’s not hurt and injured? My mind screams at me to shove the soldiers out of the way, get to her somehow, whatever it takes to make sure that she’s okay. Before the doors are even shut, though, the Stryker is on the move, and my chance is gone.
I strain to hear Sarge on the radio. The words unstable, insurgents, too open, are being shouted, and with each bump over the rough terrain, the doubt lodges further into my psyche about whether Beaux is really okay. But I’ve got no way to interrupt him, to ask him to call Rosco and make sure he has her. Sarge is in charge of getting his unit of men to safety, and right now he’s got no spare attention to pay to a reporter who signed on for the risk.
Each jar, each bump, and each mile stretches into what feels like an eternity as my mind races and my cell phone shows no signal, its eerie silence making me want to stomp it beneath my boots in frustration. My watch is not my friend either because each minute that ticks past, each mile that we put between us and the village, is more time and space from wherever the fuck Beaux is with her curiosity to take more damn pictures.
When my phone alerts a text, all of my panic and worry reach a boiling point as I glance down to see who’s sent it. I sag against the side of the carrier in momentary relief before all of the tumultuous emotions inside me morph into anger.
Are you okay? I’m worried. I’m with Rosco. We were under heavy fire.
Yes. I’m okay.
I hit Send on my reply, but my signal fails again and I have no way of knowing whether it was delivered.
“She good?” Sarge shouts in my ear when he sees me looking at my phone. I nod, before resting my head back in exhaustion, the adrenaline still coursing through me, but at least I know she’s safe.
For now.