My God this place fucks with your head. Although I’m sure the shots of Fireball don’t help either.
Just as I get a grip on my rambling thoughts, I fall forward as the door opens inward. I stumble inside, and all I see is her back as she’s walking away from me farther into the room. And fuck me, she’s wearing short shorts that cling to her ass, highlighting every damn line of her legs, and a tank top so sheer in color, I swear I can see the bronze of her skin through it. Of course my mind immediately jumps to the thought of what the front of her tank looks like and if her nipples are pressed against the thin material.
I shake the thought from my head and kick the door shut behind me as she sits on the edge of the bed facing the window with her back toward me. “Save your breath, Tanner. I got your message loud and clear. I was only good enough that first night when you considered me disposable, but now that I’m here to stay…” She laughs derisively. “I’m no longer good enough for you.”
I’m definitely the asshole for putting that hurt tone in her voice. “That’s not it.” My words come out on a sigh when I continue to explain. “It’s a lot more than that, Beaux.”
“It’s BJ to you, Tanner.”
That simple statement stings deeply, and now that the taste of the rejection is fresh on my tongue, I don’t like it at all. I don’t know how to explain – what I need to say and what I want to say are two different things.
“Beaux…”
“No, you don’t get to Beaux me. You lost that right,” she says as she turns to face me, and damn it to hell, the sight of her is like a one-two combo punch. First her sheer beauty with her face bare of any makeup and hair piled on top of her head and two, that I was right about exactly what I’d be able to see through the damn fabric of her shirt. “You kissed me today like a man who wanted more and then walked away the minute you realized you wanted more. You know why? Because I got to you. I heard what you said upstairs loud and clear. But it’s the things you aren’t saying that I think you need to listen to.”
“You’re so far off base!” I’m practically stuttering in my rush to deny it, needing to refute what she’s said only because she’s hitting way too fucking close to home.
“Keep telling yourself that.” She stands and takes a step closer to me. “You like me and yet you can’t admit it for some reason. You’re so damn busy trying to keep me at arm’s length because of your trust issues that you can’t see what’s sitting right in front of your damn face. As much as I want you, I won’t be coming on to you again. No. Not after what you said to me upstairs.” She pauses, and it’s like her words have knocked mine from my tongue.
She walks toward the window, then stops and turns to look me in the eye. “There’s something between us. You can’t deny that, Tanner – a blind man would be able to sense it… You’re so quick to accuse me of playing games, and yet you’re calling more shots than a bartender. Have sex with me and then get mad at me. Kiss me and stalk away like I’m at fault. I’m here to do my job, not get sucked into whatever this is so my head gets messed up and I can’t perform… So I think it’s best that you leave my room.”
With those final words she turns, slides into her bed, and turns the light off, effectively ending the conversation without giving me a chance to respond. And maybe that’s for the best, because she’s just unloaded so many truths on me that I don’t even know which one to focus on first. I just stand there in the darkness with her comments suffocating the air around me.