“Sure. My homecoming gift to you.”
“Right. I didn’t just come over to give you pizza, Knox.”
“Again, what do you want?”
Abby blew smoke from the corner of her mouth like an old pro. She then looked me dead in the eyes. “Stay away from Ana. This is not where I want to live. This is not what I want for her. The last thing I need is some thug like you to get into her head.”
“Oh, trust me, I wasn’t hoping to get into her head.”
Abby wound up and cracked me across the face. “Stay the fuck away from my daughter.”
She turned and stormed away, getting eaten up by the darkness.
I touched my cheek. It throbbed. I looked up and saw Ana’s bedroom light was on.
I sat down right there and ate the two pieces of pizza. I had the second cigarette.
And that was how the day went… the day I met the woman of my dreams. The woman who would raise hell in my heart. The woman who would end up carrying our first child. The woman I would forever die for… just to make her fucking smile one more time.
chapter three
(ana)
NOW
I touched the corners of my eyes and sucked in a deep breath.
Where the hell did time go so fast?
I asked that question in my mind because I learned a while ago that talking to the gravestone didn’t do a thing. If I did, my mother would have been back with me by now. Our relationship after my father left was nothing short of disastrous, but having her die this young from stupid cancer felt cruel. My father even had the nerve to send flowers with a card from him and his new wife. He couldn’t even show? Couldn’t even be there for me?
And my mother’s dying words to me…
“Hey, are we almost done here?”
I turned and looked at Porter. His nice shirt was neatly tucked into his nice pants. His black shoes shined like they’d just come off the shelf at the shoe store where he paid more for them than the cost of my first car. His hair was too perfect, along with his jaw, eyes, ears, teeth, and everything else about him.
“Seriously?” I asked. I choked up. “Do you know what today means to me?”
He sat on another gravestone, like a rude prick.
He put his hands up and nodded. Then he grabbed his phone and started to click away.
I faced the gravestone again.
It really was kind of dumb, right? Nobody was here. My mother was gone. Maybe she was in heaven, but I didn’t buy into all that religion stuff. I was staring at a rock. A piece of stone that was cut with her name in it.
The tears flooded my eyes again and I pinched the bridge of my nose.
Porter didn’t like when I cried.
I swallowed it all down and started to walk away.
“Yo,” Porter yelled. “Are we done now?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Let’s get out of here.”
We walked back to his fancy car and I sat in the passenger seat. He climbed into the driver’s seat and dropped his phone. “Hey, babe, come on. I know all that shit is sad and all. It’s not cool. You look better when you don’t cry. That’s all. Hey, we need to talk about Danny and shit. Okay?”
“What now?” I asked.
Each time I stared at Porter my mind asked, What the fuck are you doing?
The answer was simple.
I was surviving.
Porter made that capable. He said he was part of a family owned car dealership but I knew that was a front for something else. The entire town and city seemed to run on crooked businesses. But Porter had some money, a car, and didn’t mind me. It wasn’t exactly love or lust, but rather acceptance. At least for me.
What did he get out of it?
Someone to come home to, no matter what.
I had stepped right into the footprints of my mother.
“He needs someone to cover at the club tonight,” Porter said. “It’s going to be packed. Some band is playing or some shit. Two of his girls never showed last night and still haven’t shown. Another two are sick or pregnant or something. I don’t know. He’s a mess down there. Jackie and Acey claim that the bartender is cleaning them out little by little.”
“So what do I do?” I asked. “I’m not a detective.”
I should have known better than to talk like that. But the emotion was raw inside me.
Porter grabbed my jaw and I felt like it was going to snap off my face.
“Don’t fucking give me attitude, woman,” he growled. “Do you need another lesson?”
“No,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
Porter took his hand away. “That’s what I fucking thought. I’m not one of your dumb cunt friends. Now listen to me carefully. I need you to work the club tonight. End of discussion. Look half decent and sell some drinks and food. Keep an eye on Eddie, the bartender. You see anything funny you tell me. Don’t tell Danny. This is an internal thing. Do you understand me?”