Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War

Lamb was involved in the push for the new “circadian-friendly” watchbill. There has been, as there always is, some resistance. Sixes is how it’s been done for fifty years. “As flawed as it is, we’d perfected it,” commanding officer Bohner said one morning as we sat in his stateroom. “Now we’re going to shake the ball and throw the pieces back down again.” I tried to picture what game that might be.

The problem resides mainly with the midnight to 8:00 a.m. shift—the dreaded “mids.” You come off watch and instead of sitting down to dinner, you’re having breakfast. You’re sleeping from 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., when there’s often, despite Nathan Murray’s best efforts, something that you have to get out of bed for. To more fairly distribute the suck, the crew swap watch schedules every other week. Instead of flying to Paris every day, it’s every two weeks. The switchover happens on a Sunday, its being normally—that is, when riders are not coming aboard creating extra work for everyone—the quietest day of the week.

Today is that Sunday. Lieutenant Kedrowski, the man on the periscope platform, the officer of the deck, is switching to mids. It’s his birthday. Happy birthday, Kedrowski. You get to scramble your circadian rhythms and get three hours sleep—in a rack that smells like someone else, because you had to give yours up to some writer from California.

“I’m really sorry, by the way.” I would have been happy to sleep among the warheads.

“It’s no problem,” says Kedrowski, with unforced bonhomie. Almost everyone I’ve met down here has been easygoing and upbeat, especially given how tired they must be. I am, to quote the Dole banana carton in the galley pantry, “hanging with a cool bunch.” If everyone in the world did a stint in the Navy, we wouldn’t need a Navy.

Up above Kedrowski’s head, a red light is flashing. Kedrowski explained this alarm box earlier. It’s the one that goes off if the President of the United States orders a nuclear missile launch.

“So this is another drill then?”

“No.” Kedrowski finishes writing something in a three-ring binder and looks over at the box. “It’s kind of broken.” He puts down his pen and listens. “They’re supposed to say, ‘Disregard alarm.’” They don’t, and soon it stops. “They need to fix that,” he says.

The missile alarm is mildly unnerving (good god, what if?) but not particularly frightening. In the queer logic of war in general and nuclear conflagration in specific, five hundred feet underwater on an undetectable Trident submarine is the safest place you could possibly be. The crew of the modern ballistic missile submarine endures long hours and grueling tedium, homesickness, horniness, and canned lima beans, but they are spared the thing that keeps most of us out of the military: the nagging awareness that you could be shot or blown up at almost any moment. Better dead-tired than dead.


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* In military slang, there’s a friendly epithet for everyone. I, for example, am a “media puke.”

? By weight, a submarine carries more paperwork than it does people—despite the best efforts of Vice Admiral Joseph Metcalf III. Metcalf, who led the invasion of Grenada, waged an equally headstrong campaign for shipboard computerization—“a paperless ship by 1990,” he told the New York Times in 1987. He calculated that even a smaller surface warship carries 20 tons of technical manuals, logs, forms, and shelving—tonnage that could be used for fuel or ordnance. Metcalf’s battle cry (“We do not shoot paper at the enemy”) attracted some media attention and probably one or two spitballs, but—if the USS Tennessee is any indication—no serious commitment to change.

? To reduce troops’ load, the Army adds caffeine to gum or mints or foods that soldiers are already carrying, like jerky. Natick public affairs officer David Accetta feeds a Caffeinated Meat Stick to reporters who visit the food lab. To me, it tasted just like you’d expect caffeinated meat to taste. Accetta was taken aback. “Brian Williams loved them.” Or did he?

§ Though not, as correspondence in the Nathaniel Kleitman Papers reveals, without its challenges. To avoid “the danger of rats jumping up,” the researchers’ beds were outfitted with special five-foot-high legs with “tin rat guards.” Alas, there was no rat guard for publicity-seeking tourist attraction managers and noisome reporters. Kleitman had made clear he wanted no press involvement, but about a week into the experiment, Mammoth Cave general manager W. W. Thompson sent a note down with the evening meal saying that reporters had somehow, mysteriously, found out about it and were clamoring for access. Kleitman did not go quietly. He asked to review the copy. He made News of the Day state in writing that they would “in no way ridicule the experiment.” Life magazine got the last laugh: A “printer’s mistake,” the editors claimed in a letter of apology, caused Kleitman’s title (“Dr.”) to be “transposed” with the “Mr.” before the name of his grad student.

? It’s not just alertness that waxes and wanes. Gut motility also follows a circadian pattern. Healthy humans rarely crap after midnight, unless they’ve just arrived in a distant time zone.





Feedback from the Fallen

How the dead help the living stay that way





IT IS NOT THE blood in news photos of people shot dead or killed by bombs that gets to me. It’s the clothing. Here’s a man who got up in the morning and went to the closet with no inkling he was pulling on his socks for the last time, or adjusting his tie for the coroner. The clothing becomes a snapshot of a person’s final, poignantly ordinary day on Earth. You see at once the death and the life. In autopsy photographs of US military dead, you also see what came between the two. Defense Department policy is to leave all life-saving equipment in place on a body. You see the urgent work of medics and surgeons—the pushing back at death with tourniquet and tube.

In military autopsies, medical hardware is examined alongside the software of organs and flesh. The idea is to provide feedback to the men and women who worked on these patients. Did, say, the new supraglottic airway device work the way the manufacturer promised? Was it placed correctly? Could anything have been done differently? The feedback happens via a monthly combat mortality teleconference, part of the Armed Forces Medical Examiner System (AFMES) program Feedback to the Field. In the past, solid, quantified feedback took the form of published papers. In the time it takes to have a study peer-reviewed and published in a medical journal, a lot of lives can be lost. This is so much better.