Lorenzo.
I glance back at the book I’m holding, closing it as I tell her, “Of course you can have it. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
I pay for the book I’m holding, as well as Sasha’s, and we head out of the store, making our way back to the boardwalk, strolling along it as I hold her hand.
She’s as happy as can be, as she somehow convinces me to let her take her shoes off and play in the sand (yeah, right... like I’d tell her no, remember?), making a little makeshift campsite as she sets up Buster and Mr. No-Name Monkey and tries to read her book to them.
Newsflash: she’s only five, which means she can’t really read, so she’s just making up some nonsense.
Still better than the bullshit half-story Lorenzo told me.
“Come on, sunshine,” I say as time wears on, wanting out of there before sunset, still not sure how safe it is for us. “Time to get going.”
“Home?” she asks, looking up at me, her expression falling. “Do we have to go home, Mommy?”
I frown. I don’t think she likes being there any more than I do now, the bad overshadowing so many years of good. “Uh, no, not if you don’t want to. Would you rather go somewhere else?”
She nods. “Buster doesn’t like that house so much now.”
“He doesn’t? Why?”
“He didn’t like when you were sleeping in the kitchen.”
Sleeping in the kitchen. “He saw that?”
“Yes, he got scared ‘cuz you didn’t wake up when we tried to wake you.”
“You tried to wake me?”
She nods.
“You came out of your hiding spot that night to try to wake me?”
She nods yet again.
“And that’s how he found you?”
Yet another nod.
“We don’t have to go home,” I tell her, “so tell Buster not to worry. We can go somewhere else.”
“Where?”
I think about that for a moment, looking at Buster, as I pull Sasha to her feet. “How would you like to go meet the person who did Buster’s surgery?”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
“Really,” I say, picking up Buster. “He’s a friend of mine. He’s not the best at stitching, but he’s got something else going for him.”
“What?”
“Unlike the Tin Man, I know he’s got a heart.”
The sun is setting as I step through the gate of the small picket fence in Queens, leading up to the house. Sasha clings tightly to my hand. I can tell she’s nervous.
Fuck, I’m nervous.
I’ve been putting off coming here, not because I haven’t wanted to. I have. I’ve put it off because I’m not sure he wants me here, and that kind of rejection sucks serious balls. Lorenzo walked away a week ago without even saying goodbye, like he could just easily dismiss me from his life, and Buster showing up on my porch this morning... well, that’s just a cherry on this fucked up sundae I call life. Buster’s presence felt like severing ties.
I don’t accept it.
Stepping up onto the porch, I raise my hand to knock before hesitating, my fist in the air, my gaze drifting to the doorknob. Fuck it. I grab it, turning the knob, finding it unlocked.
Of course. I push the door right open. I’ve never knocked before, and I’m not going to start now.
The moment I step inside, pulling Sasha into the foyer, voices halt, eyes turning toward me. Leo and Melody stand in the living room doorway.
“Morgan!” Melody gasps, lunging right for me as Sasha shifts herself behind me, ducking out of sight. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re here!”
“Hey,” I say, patting her back as she clings to me as tightly as Sasha had. “It’s good to see you.”
“Me?” Melody shoves out of the hug, tears brimming her eyes. “Look at you! The last time I saw you, oh god, Morgan... I thought... I mean, I didn’t think you were going to... you’re frickin’ alive! I thought for sure you were dead! I thought that Russian asshole—”
“Mel,” Leo says, cutting her off, coming between us as he pulls his girlfriend away. “Not the time for that, babe. Little ears are listening.”
Melody looks at him with confusion. “Little what?”
“Ears,” he says, diverting her attention as he motions to where Sasha peeks out from behind me.
Melody glances down, her expression shifting, from confusion to shock before jumping right to excitement. No hesitation, she drops to her knees in the foyer, making them eye-level. “Hey there! I’m Melody! What’s your name?”
“Sasha,” she says quietly, stepping out in the open, like she’s decided she likes Melody. Not surprising, since they’re both little firecrackers.
“Sasha,” Melody says. “That’s such a beautiful name!”
“Thank you,” she says. “Mommy gave me it.”
“Your mommy has great taste.”
Leo makes a noise, half-scoff, half-laugh, that draws our attention. He holds his hands up defensively right away. “Hey, I’m not disagreeing. Just imagining my brother’s reaction to that statement.”
Melody rolls her eyes before turning back at Sasha, scanning her, attention settling on Buster clutched under her arm. “Hey, I remember this guy! Bruiser or something, right?”
Sasha laughs, the lighthearted sound warming me. “He’s Buster.”
“Buster,” Melody repeats, moving on to the rainbow monkey. “And who’s this one?”
“He doesn’t have his name yet,” Sasha says. “We just got him today.”
“Huh, he needs a name,” Melody says. “A good one, something as awesome as he is.”
“Leo,” Leo chimes in.
“No,” Melody says, “not happening.”
Leo shrugs it off, as Melody and Sasha chatter back and forth, the attention turning to the book Sasha’s holding. Melody takes it from her, expression lighting up. “Oh, Cinderella, she’s totally my favorite princess!”
“Do you wanna read it?” Sasha asks, her voice a little louder than it had been. “We can!”
“Hell yeah,” Melody says, standing up, holding the book, going pale when she realizes what she said. “Oops.”
“Can Melody read my book, Mommy?” Sasha asks, looking up at me as she tugs my hand. “Please?”
“Of course,” I say, gently pushing her toward Melody. “Go ahead, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
She must trust that, and she must really like Melody, because she grabs her hand and lets her take her into the living room without second-guessing it. I turn to Leo once they’re out of earshot, seeing him grinning as he watches his girlfriend.
“She’s great with kids,” Leo says.
“I see that. You going to give her one of her own soon?”
He laughs incredulously, turning toward me. “Not until we’re married.”
“Strong morals?”
“More like scary ass brother,” he says. “He’d whip my ass if I didn’t do it the right way.”
He probably would, I think.
“Speaking of your scary ass brother,” I say, glancing around, surprised he hasn’t appeared. “Where is he?”
Leo’s expression falls. “Library, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Yeah, he, uh...” Leo laces his hands together on top of his head. “He’s pissed off at the world, touchy... twitchy. It’s been pretty unbearable.”
I sigh.