It was only when they all began yawning between sentences that Kaiden and Alex rose from the couch and said their farewells. Jeera procured an authorised Bubbler vial for them—Alex had no idea how she’d managed to get her hands on one, chalking it up to mysterious Warden secrets—and after hugs all around, the two of them returned to the academy.
Kaiden walked Alex right to her dorm room. Neither of them spoke—after everything they’d shared that night, there was no need. Alex felt closer to him than she ever had before, but because of that, she feared one wrong move would ruin what was now tentatively growing between them.
Somehow, some way, Kaiden seemed to understand without needing to be told. Or perhaps he was merely staying true to his promise to give her the space and time she needed. Either way, with a gentle smile and a quiet, “Sweet dreams, Alex,” he turned away and began walking down the hallway.
“Kaiden,” Alex called, unable to help herself. When he paused and looked back over his shoulder, she whispered, “Thank you.”
Not even Alex was sure what she was thanking him for. Perhaps it was because he had trusted her with his past, and in doing so, showed that she could trust him in return. But whatever the reason, the words came from her heart—and at the look in his eyes, she knew he felt them just as much as she did.
“No, Alex,” he said. “Thank you.”
And with that, he continued on down the corridor.
Only after Alex had entered her room and slid into bed did she dredge up the nerve to talk to Niyx, sharing certain parts of her night and admitting her concerns about her growing feelings. He, in turn, grumbled about ‘emotional, love-struck girls,’ but he was also strongly in favour of Kaiden tearing down her walls, claiming Alex deserved a little fun with normal teenage problems for a change. He then listened to her repeated reasons for why it wasn’t a good idea before he finally had enough and interrupted to say, Sorry, kitten, but I’m rooting for Kaiden on this one. All the way.
It was only as Alex began to doze off beside Soraya that she realised she’d never mentioned Kaiden by name. Ever. And yet, Niyx had known exactly who she’d been talking about.
But before she could call out again and question him, she succumbed to sleep, and when she woke the next morning, she’d forgotten all about it.
Twenty-Seven
The next night found Alex walking out of the forest beside Jordan after finishing a Stealth and Subterfuge class where Hunter had tested their camouflage skills. Along with their other classmates, they were covered in all kinds of forest gunk, from mud to crusted bits of bark—and everything in between—and their hair was wet with unidentifiable ick from smooshing dirtied snow onto their heads.
Bounding happily along before them was Soraya, the Shadow Wolf having rarely left Alex’s side over the last few days. The only times Alex ordered her to stay away were during classes—other than SAS, where there was plenty of room for the wolf to run free—and when she trained with Athora at night. Surprisingly, Soraya obeyed and didn’t use her shadowing ability to stalk Alex unless she somehow knew it was at a time she could do so—which, unfathomably, the wolf always knew. The rest of the time, Soraya was glued to Alex’s side, including during her sessions with Niyx each morning—something he found both hilarious and exasperating.
After just five days, the Shadow Wolf was most definitely no longer a puppy, already reaching past the height of Alex’s hip. Every day Alex woke up, she had to resist the urge to scream out ‘Demon hound!’ at just how much the puppy had grown. But before she could panic, Soraya would give a happy bark and jump all over Alex, acting as if her awakening was the most wonderful thing in the world.
Other than scaring the stuffing out of the other students—like when Soraya burst into the food court in a cloud of lightning-strewn darkness—the wolf was a delight to have around. Her intelligence was beyond anything Alex could comprehend. Just that morning Alex had been running late for her Medical Science class and frustratingly cried out, “Where the hell is my textbook?” while rushing around her room. Not three seconds later, Soraya trotted over with the heavy book between her teeth.
Somehow Alex had managed again to not shriek about having a possessed dog, and instead she’d given Soraya an appreciative rub and sprinted off to class.
The wolf was, quite simply, magical. And if Alex had any desire at all to keep her sanity intact, she knew she just had to accept that and roll with it.
It wasn’t like it was a hardship, after all. And now looking at the ecstatic puppy-but-so-not-a-puppy leaping through the snowdrifts with unreserved joy, Alex couldn’t keep the smile from her face.
All the same, she slowed her pace to allow the rest of their SAS classmates to pull ahead and quietly took advantage of the opportunity—and the privacy—to turn to Jordan.
Somehow she was able to not laugh at the streaks of muck all over his face, and as they slowly walked along, she said, “I feel like I haven’t been alone with you for ages. How are you doing?”
Jordan peered at her carefully. “You’re not going to start crying again, are you?”
She rolled her eyes, but given her breakdown last Saturday night, his concerns were justified. She had been a tad emotional. “No tears this time. Promise.”
He sent her a slight, somewhat reflective smile and said, “In that case… If you’d asked me a fortnight ago, I probably would have lied and told you I was good. That I was moving on. But you would also have known I was lying.”
His words, while upsetting, weren’t surprising. He had certainly tried to act like everything was okay. Even if he hadn’t quite pulled it off.
“That’s why it’s so crazy that I can actually say that truthfully now,” Jordan continued, both his expression and his voice amazed. “It’s like… as impossible as it sounds, I am okay. I am good. Or—I’m getting there, at least, which is more than I thought would ever be possible.”
His awe remained visible as they trudged through the snow, following the path Soraya cleared for them with her leaps and bounds.
“I had nightmares that whole first week,” he admitted quietly, and suddenly Alex understood the reasons for his and D.C.’s late night visits to the lake. “Horrible nightmares that made me wake up screaming. I scared the life out of Bear. But—and I know it hasn’t been long—but it’s like time has helped. Every day that I wake up in control of my mind is a reminder that I’m me again. That I have control over my body, over my life, and Aven can’t get to me anymore. There’s strength in that. And I feel like if I dwell on what happened, then I’d still be giving him power over me. Power that I will never allow him to take again.”
Jordan shrugged off his intensity and finished, this time grinning widely, “Plus, having a hot girlfriend for when I need a distraction is an added bonus.”
A laugh escaped Alex and she gave Jordan a playful shove, his last words proving more than anything else that he truly was as okay as he claimed to be.