Dear Gork,
If you’re reading this, then that means you and Fribby found a way to defeat Dr. Terrible. Right now as I write this, I am chopping up Dr. Terrible with swords but he keeps putting himself together again. I don’t know how long I can hold out like this. Which is why I am writing you this letter, and is why I have teleported these three very important items to this cave. Now here is what I want you to do…
Fribby and I stand there and read the entire letter together. It’s two pages long, full of detailed instructions and words of encouragement. I won’t bother giving you the blow-by-blow of the letter.
But I will say my eyes get a little misty reading it.
Now the first item ATHENOS left us is a syringe filled with a nanobot solution. In the letter, ATHENOS says the nanobot solution will grow back each of our missing wings.
The second item is the Evolution Machine. It’s kind of eerie to see the machine here in the back of the cave. In the letter, ATHENOS says she wanted us to have it, in case me and Fribby decide to conquer Earth while wearing some other creatures’ bodies.
Now I turn my attention to the third item.
I pick it up and hold it in my talons, turning it this way and that. I recognize it. The flat gold disc with the red gem in the middle of it. From that first night when Dr. Terrible found me in my lair all those years ago.
It’s the Prophecy.
In the letter, ATHENOS explains that the Prophecy has a holovid recording my mother made for me in her last minutes before they crashed to Earth. In the letter, ATHENOS explains that the Prophecy disc is the most important thing and that I should handle it with great care. She says after I watch the holovid recording of my mother, then I will understand why.
I’m too tired to think about it.
I take the syringe and inject Fribby with the nanobot solution.
She instantly conks out on the cave floor.
I watch her sleep for a second.
Her new silver wing grows out of her back just like that.
She twitches in her sleep.
Two wings are definitely better than one.
She’s going to be one seriously happy robot fiend when she wakes up, that’s for sure.
Then I turn and leave her and walk to the front of the cave.
Because I have some more business to attend to.
[ 92 ]
THE DRAGON KING
Standing in the mouth of the cave, I call out to the Red Rose.
“Red Rose, Red Rose, oh you immortal Red Rose,
I sing to you from the bottom of the claws on my toes!”
Then I sing a short poem which places a protective cloak of dense fog all around the cave. The fog is sentient and has fangs swirling around in it. It’s ghastly. The fog will protect us from any intruders.
Then I sing a short poem which fetches the pack of wolves to the mouth of the cave. They come howling and galloping up through the fog to where I stand. The wolves lie flat on their bellies in the snow and whimper and whine and look up at me.
Then the wolves tell me that this is the most beautiful poem they have ever heard.
I tell them forget about it. I’ve got a million of them. I tell them I’m the greatest poet this planet has ever seen. And things around here on this tiny pebble they call Earth are about to change big-time.
“My name is Gork The Terrible, and I’m a dragon,” I say, snorting firebolts out my nostrils.
The wolves howl and say, “Where have you been all this time?”
“You wouldn’t believe my scaly green ass if I told you,” I say.
“Well thank goodness you’re here because things on this planet have been going from bad to worse,” say the wolves. “The bloodthirsty man-creature has been terrorizing all the animals. The man-creature won’t rest until he’s killed every animal in the forest and every fish in the sea,” they say.
I tell them I got this and not to worry.
They say, “What do you mean exactly when you say not to worry?”
“I got a faboo machine back there in the cave that can swap out any two animals’ minds.” I tell them we’re gonna put a lion inside a caterpillar’s body and watch the folks freak out when a caterpillar eats a family of man-creatures in the park. I tell them we’re gonna put a shark inside a hummingbird so that the hummingbird will shoot through the air, biting man-creatures’ heads off, one right after the other.
Then I tell the wolves that they are welcome to join forces with me and that together we will be the Doomsday Squad. And that we will conquer the man-creatures.
The wolves howl, “The things you’re saying are crazy, and how can we possibly follow a big deranged lizard into battle against the man-creature? Especially now that we’re getting a closer look at you. We can plainly see you only have one freaking wing. Plus your horns are weirdly small,” they say.
I snort firebolts out my nostrils and tell them they better watch their fool wolf mouths if they know what’s good for them. And then I hold out my talon and say, “Snakespear.” A big black snake falls out of the sky and lands in my talons and the snake is rigid like a stick with its fangs bared. I hold the snakespear in a threatening manner and glare down at the wolves.
“Now let’s not forget who the boss is here,” I say.
They stare at me in awe.
I tell them if they know what’s good for them, then they’ll be like this snake that I’m holding here, in terms of being a team player. “The word of the day is sacrifice.”
The wolves crouch lower on their bellies and whine and say, “We’re sorry and it won’t happen again, sir!”
“I am the new Dragon King of this planet and I desperately need some sleep,” I say. “But when I wake up we will wage a war against the savage man-creatures and I will conquer them. The name of this war will be the Great War. If you don’t believe me, then just ask the trees,” I say.
“No need for that because the trees have been singing about you for years,” they say. “But we just reckoned those trees were liars.”
I tell the wolves they are officially now the first soldiers in the Doomsday Squad. “One day you will appear in my epic poem and so you will become legend.” I tell them that while I am asleep they should speak to the other animals in the forest and tell them to join our army. I say by the time I awake I expect them to have assembled a sizeable force who will join us in our war against the man-creatures.
The wolves snarl and growl and tilt their furry heads back and howl at the moon.
“Now who are we?” I say.
“The Doomsday Squad!” they howl.
Then I look at this one big sulking yellow-eyed bastard wolf and snap my claws. “You there,” I say.
“Yeah, what do you want?” he says.
“You’re the bastard that used to watch me sleep in my old lair when I was just a little baby dragon, aren’t you?” I say.
He says: “Yeah, so what of it.”