But she didn’t want to be alone, either.
She thought of her time as an acolyte. The forgetting and solace she’d found in Tric’s arms. But he was dead and buried too, now. An empty tomb in a hollow hall, carved with the only memoriam he’d ever know. She’d told Shahiid Aalea that she missed him, and there was truth in that. But more, she realized she missed the clarity of it; the simple joy of wanting and being wanted in kind. The lingering ache from her visit with Furian wasn’t helping any.
The brightest flames burn out the fastest, Aalea had told her. But in them, there is warmth that can last a lifetime. Even from a love that only lasts the nevernight. For people like us, there are no promises of forever.
Looking up into Sidonius’s eyes, she finally realized what she wanted.
Not forever, perhaps.
But for now.
“… Why’re you looking at me like that?” the big Itreyan asked.
And without a word
she looked over his shoulder
to the shadow in the stairwell
and disappeared right out of his arms.
*
Sounds of the harbor. Soldiers calling “all’s well” as they patrolled the nevernight streets. The wind blowing in off the ocean into Crow’s Rest was blessedly cool, Mia shivering after the dank heat of the barracks. Her hand hovered above the window glass, just shy of knocking.
“… this is unwise…”
“Go back to the keep,” Mia whispered. “And tell Eclipse to watch the street.”
“… mia, i—…”
“Go.”
Without a sound, the not-cat left her, her shadow growing thin and pale. As soon as Mister Kindly departed, she felt it, sneaking and creeping inside her belly—the fear she’d have always felt without him beside her. Fear of being here. Fear of what it meant, or where it could lead. Fear of who and what she was. And before it could sink its cold claws too far into her skin, she knocked, once, twice, knuckles striking sharp upon the glass.
No sound from the room inside. Mia felt a deepening dread, thinking perhaps she wasn’t in there, that she’d stolen away after their argument, betrayed her and left her behind, proved that all the mistrust and sus— The window opened. Ashlinn J?rnheim stood beyond the sill, pillow-mussed and befuddled by sleep. Her eyes were the blue of sunsburned skies.
“Mia?” the girl asked, stifling a yawn. “What time is it?”
Those blue eyes widened as she saw the scrapes on Mia’s knuckles, the split above her bruised eye, the bruise at her jaw.
“Black Mother, what happened to…?”
The question trailed off as Mia reached out, pressed a finger to Ash’s lips. They hung there a moment; two girls, barely touching, all the world around them holding its breath. The confusion in Ashlinn’s eyes began to melt as Mia moved her finger, gentle as feathers. She traced the smooth bow of Ashlinn’s upper lip, the plump softness of her lower, slow and soft. The arc of her cheek, the line of her jaw, Ash’s breath coming quicker as she came fully awake, aware, awonder, the skin on her bare arms prickling. And as she parted her lips to speak, perhaps to protest, Mia leaned in and silenced her with a kiss.
She’d not kissed a girl before. At least, not like this. The kiss between them in the Mountain had been of farewell—lingering perhaps, but still a goodbye. This kiss was an invitation; a gentle, desperate plea for a beginning, not an ending. A question without words, Mia’s mouth open and melting against Ashlinn’s own. And as she felt Ashlinn shiver, the feather-light brush of her tongue in kind, Mia had her answer.
She climbed in through the window, their lips never parting. Arms entwined, hands exploring, Mia breaking the kiss only long enough to drag Ashlinn’s nightshirt up over her head. She was naked beneath, stripped gloriously bare with a single gesture. Mia paused a moment to drink in the sight; the sunslight caressing the line of her throat, the swell of her curves, the shadow between her legs.
“Mia, I…”
Mia sank back, pressing her mouth to Ashlinn’s neck. The girl’s chest was heaving, her cheeks flushed, whispering soft nothings and letting her head drift back as Mia sank lower, down to her breast, teasing one pebble-hard nipple with her tongue.
The pair collapsed onto the bed, Ash’s hands tearing at the bindings about Mia’s chest, her hips, groaning as Mia’s teeth nipped at her neck. Any questions she might have had were drowned now, breath coming too quick to speak, lips parted as she crushed Mia to her, skin on skin, every sweet secret at her fingertips. Down her ribs, over the swell of her hips to the curve of her arse as Mia wrapped one leg about her, dragging her in closer.
Mia felt Ash’s fingers brushing the inside of her thigh, an arkemical thrill sizzling up her spine and sparking in the dark behind her eyes. Her own hand quested lower, down across Ash’s taut belly to the downy blond between her legs. Their hands found their marks at the same time, their kiss deepening, their sighs smothered. Mia’s back arched as she felt Ashlinn drawing tight, firm circles on her with clever fingers. She kneaded a breast with her free hand, the other setting to work between Ashlinn’s legs, mimicking her slow, agonizing rhythm and listening to her moan in time.
It was like nothing she’d ever known. Jolting current and sweet softness and kisses, endless, paralyzing kisses that filled her with a warmth all the way to her fingertips. Time stood still, nothing but teasing tongues and breathless sighs, a heat building between her legs, setting her whole body aflame.
“O, Goddess, yes,” Mia whispered.
“Don’t stop,” Ashlinn pleaded.
Her lips were honey, warm and soft, her body writhing as Mia’s fingers rolled back and forth across her swollen bud. She was so hot down there, slick and shivering, the hunger in Mia rising until she could stand it no more.
“I want to taste you,” she breathed, nuzzling Ashlinn’s neck.
“O, yes … yes…”
Descending, slow as melting ice. Running her tongue down the line of Ashlinn’s throat, smiling as the girl’s back arched, toes curled. Down to the swell of her breasts, Mia took one in her mouth, licking, suckling, her hand still strumming between Ashlinn’s thighs. A thirst was burning inside her, desert-dry, and Mia could think of only one way to sate it. Dragging her like some sweet, dark gravity. Down.
Always down.
Ash was splayed on the mattress, groaning as Mia continued her descent, long, languid kisses running over her ribs, her belly. Mia paused, tracing slow, burning circles around her navel with the tip of her tongue, fingernails tracing gentle lines across Ashlinn’s skin. Inhaling a soft hint of lavender and the dizzying scent of Ash’s desire.
“Please, Mia,” the girl breathed.
Down, down to the smooth length of Ashlinn’s parted legs, running her tongue closer to that intoxicating heat. There was a small dark mole at the divot of Ash’s thigh and her sex, and Mia licked it slow, smiling dark.
“Please what?” she whispered.