What difference did it make to who she was?
Mia reached up to the bandage, untied it from her brow. It was stuck to the wound, dried blood crusted in the gauze, and she had to tug it free, wincing at the pain. Ashlinn sat still, staring with those beautiful blue eyes. Mia glanced at her reflection in the looking glass. The gash cut down through her brow, curling in a cruel hook shape along her left cheek, laced with stitches by Maggot’s iron-steady hands.
“It’s not that bad,” Ashlinn murmured.
“Liar,” Mia replied.
“I am at that,” Ashlinn smirked. “But not about this.”
The girl leaned forward, and with featherlight lips, she kissed Mia’s brow. Sinking lower, she placed a half-dozen gentle kisses along the line of Mia’s wound, and finally, she pressed her lips to Mia’s own.
“Our scars are just gifts from our enemies,” Ashlinn whispered into her mouth. “Reminding us they weren’t good enough to kill us.”
Mia smiled faintly, entwining her fingers in Ashlinn’s own.
“You fought bravely in the arena,” Ash said.
“It’s easy to do that with Mister Kindly and Eclipse by my side.”
“And yet you come here alone. That couldn’t have been easy.”
Mia shook her head. “It wasn’t.”
“So don’t sell yourself cheap, Corvere. There’s no one alive who can do the things you do. You’re the bravest person I know. Goddess, when you leapt after Bladesinger, I was so afraid…” Ashlinn shook her head, gave Mia a playful slap on the leg. “Don’t do anything that stupid again, you hear me?”
“I couldn’t let her fall, Ashlinn.”
The girl’s gaze softened, a slow frown forming between her brows.
“Why not?”
“She saved my life.”
“And in saving hers, you risked your own.” Ash shook her head, blue eyes glittering. “That’s not why we’re here, Mia. This is bigger than the life of one gladiatii. This is the future of the entire Republic. The end of a tyranny that’s been allowed to fester for far too long. The end of the Red Church, the end of—”
“I know why we’re here, Ashlinn. I’m no hero. I’m no fucking savior. This is my plan, remember?”
“… I don’t seem to be the one who needs reminding.”
Mia scowled, pulled herself free of Ashlinn’s embrace. Prowling to the bureau, she found her cigarillos, struck her flintbox. She inhaled deep despite the pain in her ribs, feeling the sugared warmth spread over her tongue, tingling on her lips.
“Maggot’s dead,” she sighed.
“… What? How?”
“Arkades apparently dosed our evemeal with Elegy. He was working with Leonides. Leona has to sell a bunch of gladiatii to stave her father off long enough to fight me at the magni. But the gladiatii have caught wind of their sale.”
“… And how do they feel about that?”
“How the fuck do you think?” Mia folded her arms and leaned on the wall, cigarillo hanging from her mouth. “They’re set to rebel. Sidonius is trying to convince me to help. He knows I can escape the cells, let the rest of them out. If they struck in the nevernight, they’d cut through Leona’s guards like piss through snow.”
“Shit,” Ashlinn breathed. “How are you going to stop them? Tell Leona?”
Mia looked at Ash, dragging hard on her smoke.
“Who says I’m going to stop them?”
“… What?”
“They don’t deserve to die, Ash. Not a one of them. Not for this.”
“Mia,” Ashlinn said. “I know you feel a kinship for these people, believe me, I do. But you were always too mindful of others, even as an acolyte. I warned you then, and I’m warning you now.”
Mia scowled at the girl on the bed. That old, delicious anger eating all her fear.
“Ash, if I’d not spared that boy’s life in my final trial, I’d have been there when you poisoned the initiation feast. I’d have been trussed up like Hush and the others, completely at the Luminatii’s mercy.”
“I wouldn’t have let that happen.”
“You couldn’t have stopped them,” Mia replied. “Remus would have gutted me as soon as he got his hands on me. So don’t fool yourself. If I’d not shown mercy and failed my trial, I’d be dead just like Tric.”
Ash flinched. Drew a long, shaking breath.
“You throw that at me every time we argue. It’s not fair, Mia.”
“O, and what you did to him was?”
“Look, I’m sorry Tric had to die,” Ash said. “I know you cared for him. I liked him too. But that’s my point, Mia. Everyone has someone who cares for them. The gladiatii you’ve killed in the arena, the Luminatii you slaughtered at the Mountain—each of them was someone’s daughter or someone’s son. Each of them had someone to mourn them. This is bigger than one person, or even a thousand. This is the future of the Republic. And this is everything you’ve worked for.”
Mia scowled, dragging hard on her cigarillo. Ashlinn climbed off the bed, walked to Mia, and took hold of her hand.
“You were born for this. And I think you know that. The moment your father chose to rise against the Republic, you were fated for great and terrible things. But fate wouldn’t have chosen you if you weren’t strong enough to bear the weight of it. I know you’re frightened. I know you’re hurting. But we’re so close now. You can do this. You’re the strongest person I know. That’s one of the reasons I love you, Mia Corvere.”
Clove-scented smoke curled through her fingers, floating into the air and weaving with the words that still hung heavy about her head.
“… What did you say?”
Ash leaned in and entwined her hands with Mia’s. Pressed her body to Mia’s. Placed her lips on Mia’s. The kiss was soft and sweet and dizzying, the floor falling away from her feet, wrapping her up in the scent of lavender and burning cloves and an aching, sighing want. All the world stopped spinning. All of time stood still.
“I said I love you, Mia Corvere,” Ash whispered.
For people like us, there are no promises of forever …
“… mia…”
Mia caught her breath, heart pounding in her chest. Tearing her gaze from Ashlinn’s eyes, she saw a familiar shape sitting on the windowsill. A not-cat, cleaning his paw with his not-tongue.
“What is it?” she asked.
“… furian…,” Mister Kindly replied.
*
She’d run like a mad thing back up the hill, cloak flapping behind her, not even bothering to hide beneath her mantle of shadows. If someone from the Rest marked her, so be it, but the repercussions from the collegium’s champion being spotted by some random stranger in the street would pale in comparison to what would happen if the guards found her missing from her cell. She’d been a fool, risking a visit with so much in flux. Cursing herself an idiot and trying to forget the fact that Ashlinn J?rnheim …
Ashlinn J?rnheim said she loves me.
Mia pushed the thought aside, pain jarring her ribs every time her foot struck the road.
“He’s awake?” she gasped.
“… he is stirring. if they call on you…”
“I know.”
“… you risk too much, mia. all now hangs in the balance…”
“I know.”