Until it’s the only beat that’s seeping into my lungs
“That was a rhetorical question, Cecily. You’re not supposed to fucking answer.”
My glare meets his fierce eyes.
I want to provoke him, anger him. I want him to feel an ounce of the pain he’s exerted on me.
“Why?” I strain. “You don’t like to imagine another man peeling my clothes off and sinking inside me while I moan for him?”
“Stop.”
“I’ll beg him to go faster, harder. I’ll say his name, too. Actually, I’ll moan it.”
“Shut the fuck up.” He pulls me forward by his grip on my neck, then slams me back again. “You don’t seem to understand this, so let me clarify it for you. Any dick that comes near you will be cut off and you’ll bathe in its blood. I might have given you space, but I still own your ass. And cunt. And mouth. Everything about you belongs to me. You belong to me. But if you’re in the mood to test that, by all means, do. I will maim as many motherfuckers in front of you as you wish until you have your fill.”
He means it.
I know he does.
Jeremy has never made a promise and not kept it.
And this helplessness, the feeling of being too caught in his web while he only has a sense of ownership over me makes me feel like a trapped animal.
“Is that why you sent those guys to the hospital, shipped my professor to another country, and even dealt with Jonah? Because I’m yours? An extension of your stupid ego and a projection of your twisted desires?”
“I did all that because no one gets to hurt you.”
“Only you can?”
He tightens his grip. “Only I can.”
My eyes burn, but I refuse to let the tears loose. I refuse to show him just how much of an effect his words have on me.
“What do you want from me, Jeremy? You already let me go.”
“But you didn’t go.”
“Huh?”
He releases me, but only after he strokes the spot where his fingers pressed.
“Annika disappeared.”
My chest constricts, more about the topic than the abrupt subject change.
“What?”
He gives me a side-eye that could bring the devil to his knees. “Don’t fuck with me, Cecily. You were the last person she saw after your impromptu visit to New York. At first, I wanted to believe the two incidents were unrelated, but it turns out, you went on a private jet and returned on a commercial flight. Which means my sister left with your companion on that private jet. You all but shot yourself in the foot when you had Glyndon slip me that note today. Because A, Killian nearly killed me for it, thinking she was passing me notes; and B, she’s a shit spy and confessed everything when Kill started turning into an insufferable being. My question is, why would you let me know that?”
Blimey.
I should’ve considered Glyn’s personality and her tight bond with Killian.
Releasing a sigh, I tell him the truth. “I didn’t want you or your parents worried or thinking she ran away or something.”
“Why do you not want us worried?”
“Unlike what you said about me, I’m not heartless. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” A somber shadow covers his face before he tucks it away and asks in a colder tone, “Where is she? Where did he take her?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know or you don’t want to say?”
“I really don’t.” But I have a hunch. There’s only one faraway place where Creighton could remain off everyone’s radar and use his grandfather’s jet for it.
“You’re a terrible liar, Cecily. You never look me in the eye when you tell a lie.”
My gaze snaps to his when I realize I’ve been staring at my feet.
Instead of anger or blame, I find dejection. Disappointment, maybe.
And I don’t know why that tugs on my heartstrings until they bleed and overflow in my chest.
“I thought you didn’t want to hurt anyone,” he says with masked anger. “Do you have any idea how much this is hurting my parents? My mother thinks Annika did something to herself.”
“You…can set their minds at ease.”
“That will only happen if they see her again.”
“I can’t. If I do, you or your dad will hurt Creigh.”
“That motherfucker—” He stops and inhales deeply. “That slimy fucker has dug his own grave. Don’t make it deeper.”
“That’s not very encouraging.” I grab his hand that’s balled in a fist. It’s the first time I’ve done it, despite wanting to for a long time.
I slowly peel it open, and only after some tension leaves his body do I speak softly. “I know you think badly of Creigh because of what he’s done, and I understand that. I understand that Anni is your only sibling and someone you consider to be under your protection. You love her, and have cared for her since she was born, so you feel the need to shield her whenever someone comes close, but you need to understand that she’s old enough to make her own decisions now. You also need to understand that Creigh and I were raised together. He’s like my brother, and I also feel the need to protect him.”
“Do you share a parent?”
“Uh, no?”
“Then he’s not your fucking brother.” He purses his lips. “I’m asking you nicely for the last time, Cecily. Where did he take her?”
I shake my head.
“Very well. You leave me no choice but to use the not-so-nice way.”
I shriek as he picks me up and carries me in his arms.
32
JEREMY
I had every intention of letting Cecily go.
Yes, I told Ilya to continue keeping an eye on her, just in case some motherfucker thought it was a good idea to bother her.
And yes, maybe I took over his task most of the time and did a marvelous job at covering my tracks, so she didn’t realize I was basically breathing down her neck.
But the fact remains, I did think I could let her go. Not permanently. Temporarily.
Until the demons disappeared and I was more in control of myself around her. I thought that if I kept my distance, didn’t touch her, and wasn’t so caught up in her pussy and body and her face when she sleeps, I would have more balance.
I’d be in control again.
Every single one of those thoughts scattered in the air the moment Mia texted me about her findings.
I was carefully planning how to make Cecily tell me where my sister is, but when I heard Landon was in the picture, I lost all that strategic thinking.
When I saw him grabbing her cheek, the same cheek that should only belong to me, and lowering his head to kiss her, malicious intent grabbed hold of me. I had this urge to slice his throat and bathe in his blood right in front of her so she’d be reminded that no other fucker is allowed to touch her.
Looks like I gave her too much space, and she’s starting to get ideas in her head. Now, it’s my mission to erase those ideas.
I stop in front of the cottage and Cecily hastily hops off the bike. She’s tried to fight at the beginning, but as soon as I revved the engine and drove down the road, she held on to me as if her life depended on it.