Cecily crouches down to hold Ava, who’s using the floor as her pillow and is practically sleeping. She nudges her friend and implores her to wake up, but there’s no sign of responsiveness.
I nod at Ilya and he swiftly picks up Ava and carries her in his arms. Cecily’s eyes widen. “What are you doing?”
“Giving you a ride home.” I interlink her fingers with mine when she tries to snatch Ava from Ilya.
When he starts toward the back exit, she practically jogs behind him, and only my grip keeps her from physically stopping him.
This is the first time I’ve held her hand and I can’t help feeling that it’s small, soft, and fits perfectly in mine.
“I can call one of our friends,” she tries to tell me, having figured that Ilya won’t listen to her.
“Or you can just go with me,” I say, tightening my hold on her hand when I remember that fucker Landon is one of their friends.
I should’ve really put him in a coma when I had the chance.
I stopped because people romanticize about anyone who’s hurt, and I wasn’t doing the motherfucker the favor.
“Eli will kill me if he finds out about this,” she mutters.
“Why?” I ask.
“I just let another guy carry her.” She throws her free hand in the air. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“He wouldn’t be able to lay a finger on you,” I say matter-of-factly.
She just releases a long breath, and I swear she’s about to smile but stops herself. “You guys are cut from the same cloth.”
When we reach her small car, she beeps it open, and Ilya gives me a glance because the car might as well be a tiny turtle’s nest.
I nod at him to put Ava at the back. As soon as Cecily makes sure her friend is all settled, she opts to drive, but Ilya is already sliding into the driver’s seat after a lot of bending.
When I join him in the front seat, it’s like I’m sitting in a damn toy car.
I have to bend my legs and head, despite pushing back the seat to its maximum capacity.
Cecily stares at us through the window and does a shit job at hiding her smile.
“Get in,” I order. “And this isn’t funny.”
“It actually is. You two would look adorable with one of Anni’s fluffy bandanas.”
“Cecily.”
“Fine, fine. You don’t have to order me around about everything, you know.” She shakes her head but then sits beside her friend and lays Ava’s head on her shoulder.
Thankfully their dorm isn’t far from the club, and we arrive before Ilya or I can get a muscle cramp.
Cecily starts to protest when Ilya carries Ava inside but soon drops it, knowing full well that she can’t do it herself.
I stay in the living room as he takes Ava to her room, with Cecily following behind.
Soon after, he reemerges, and she slams the door shut.
“Find those two from tonight. The one who was with Ava, too.”
He nods and heads out, closing the front door behind him.
I study the living room that Cecily spends some of her time in. Annika always talks about how Cecily and Glyndon want peaceful nights in, while she and Ava prefer to go out.
It’s simple, full of small stuffed rabbits and other animals that I’m sure isn’t her doing.
Her room speaks of her more than this shared space.
I make a swift check of the place in case of a security hazard, but I find nothing suspicious.
For now.
Fifteen minutes later, Cecily reemerges from Ava’s room, holding her heels in her hand and tiptoeing as she slowly closes the door.
I stalk behind her and whisper in her ear, “Why are you acting like a thief?”
She gasps and turns around so fast, she tumbles backward. I grab her by the elbow and steady her. Her shoes end up on the floor, though.
Her throat works with a swallow as she stares at me and whispers, “I thought you left.”
“I’m obviously still here,” I murmur back.
“I heard the front door open and close.”
Which is probably why she let her guard down. She might not be as oblivious to her surroundings as I previously thought.
“That was Ilya.” I lean closer. “How long are we supposed to keep whispering?”
She grabs my hand—no, it’s just my wrist—and drags me to her room, then closes the door. “You need to leave.”
“Why?”
“How the hell am I supposed to explain you to Ava? We’re not in a relationship.”
That’s the second fucking time she’s said that sentence tonight. The difference is that she doesn’t sound accusing now and is only stating facts.
“Do you want to be in a relationship?”
Her lips part the slightest bit, but that’s enough of a sign. “What?”
“You were jealous of Maya, and you apparently need a label to put your busy brain at ease. Will being in a relationship satisfy you?”
“What does being in a relationship with you mean, Jeremy? That you get to order me around, have me do your bidding while you continue to push me out? Because that’s called ownership, not a relationship, and I’m not a fan.”
“Watch that mouth.”
She releases a long breath, then speaks in a less strained tone. “A relationship means compromise, giving and taking, a partnership. It’s not an imbalance of power where you have the last word in everything and I’m along for the ride.”
“You love the ride.”
“Sexually, yeah, I do. I give you free rein to do whatever you please in that department. But not in the real world, Jeremy. I’m a human being with feelings, fears, and preferences. I’m also an independent person who cherishes her freedom. If you force me all the time, I’ll eventually close myself off from you. I don’t want that, and I’m sure you don’t want that either, right?”
I narrow my eyes on her.
She’s asking for something. What exactly, I don’t know.
“Say it.”
Her brow furrows. “Say what?”
“What you want.”
“I just want to know more about you. It’s unfair that you’re the only one who knows things about me.”
“You know everything there is to know.”
“Everything? You mean the fact that you study business, are the head of the Heathens, and a mafia heir? Those tell me nothing about your character.”
“You know about the bike, the cottage, and my sexual flavors.”
She relaxes a little, probably finally figuring out how she’s underestimating how much she knows me. Almost on the same level as my parents.
Hell, even they don’t know what I’m into.
She steps closer. “Have you always had this kink?”
“Since I hit puberty, yes.”
“When did you first act on it?”
“During that initiation when I was chasing you.”
Her face blushes. “You…never tried it before?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t trust anyone to do it with.”
“Does that mean you trust me?” She looks at me with big green eyes so full of hope and renewed affection.
No, she wants my affection.
She wants more from me.
Me.
That one baffles the fuck out of me. Why would she? The only thing I know how to give her is pleasure.
“Partially,” I say in answer to her question.
Her shoulders hunch and some of the brightness from before dims. “Why not fully?”
Because you called that motherfucker’s name during that first time.