She says she’ll practice her cello.
Usually, I wait for her to go to sleep so I can sneak out, but I’m restless tonight.
Fifteen minutes after the sound of her cello fills the space, I throw on my hoodie and slip out of the flat.
It feels like it takes me forever to reach the cottage. I open the gate with the wireless key Jeremy gave me soon after I became a regular visitor at his property.
The whole house is shrouded in darkness, but the gothic vibe doesn’t bother me tonight.
Something else does.
Out of instinct, I stop at the door of the cottage. Usually, this is when he’ll ambush me, then chase me all over the place.
However, when I push open the door, nothing happens.
Though I’m sure I saw his bike outside. Could he be taking a shower?
I go all over the cottage, but there’s no sign of him. However, I catch a glimpse of a mass of muscles through the kitchen window—that he fixed after I shattered it to pieces.
My steps are careful as I head in his direction. Jeremy sits on the deck, leaning back his palms on the wood as he stares at the gloomy lake that I’m sure is filled with water ghosts.
I stop right behind him, and I yelp, then shriek when he grabs me by the ankle and flings me forward.
But before I tumble into the water, he plops me on his lap so that I’m straddling it and wraps a large hand around my waist. He stares at me with dark eyes, so dark, they practically blend with the night.
However, another novel emotion I’ve never witnessed on his face lurks beneath the surface.
Something like…relief. Surprise?
“You came.” It’s a bewildered statement at best.
I let my palms flatten on his shoulders. “You told me to come every night, remember?”
His grip tightens around my waist. “You’re early.”
“Ava went to sleep early.” Liar.
“I see.” There’s something weird about his tone and expression tonight. It’s…softer. More human than beast.
And Jeremy is never soft, so this is throwing me off, but I also grab on to it, wanting, no, needing, to get inside his armor somehow. It’s not fair that he’s the only one who gets that privilege.
I touch the cut at the side of his lip, slowly, tentatively. “You should probably treat these.”
He releases an ambiguous sound but otherwise remains silent.
“Earlier.” I clear my throat. “How did you know I was there?”
“I know everything about you, Lisichka”
“But I don’t.”
“You don’t know everything about yourself?”
“I don’t know anything about you, Jeremy.”
“You don’t need to.”
“I want to.”
His expression tightens, but he speaks calmly. “Why?”
“To make it fair.”
“I’m not a fair person.”
“I’m well aware.” I let my fingers linger on his hard jaw. “But I still want to find out.”
“Good luck. Trying is free, succeeding isn’t.”
“Very convenient.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I didn’t thank you.”
“You’re welcome anyway.”
I release a breath and he smiles a little—as much of a smile as Jeremy can offer. And holy shit. Why does he appear tenfold more attractive when he does that? It’s not healthy for my skyrocketing heartbeat.
Little by little, my doubts vanish. Lan couldn’t have told him about my involvement in the fire.
There’s no way Jeremy would remain collected if that were the case. He would’ve drowned me in the lake by now.
I still don’t feel any form of relief.
“Are you disappointed?”
His question catches me completely off guard. “W-what?”
“That I won against your precious Landon and ruined his beautiful looks.”
“Not really. I mean, I would rather you guys didn’t fight, but there needed to be a winner. I’m sure Lan would’ve done the same if he’d been in your position.”
He pauses, observing me with strange intent. “Weren’t you rooting for him?”
“Ava was. She cursed you all night long for the money she lost.”
“How about you? Did you curse me?”
“No, and I wasn’t rooting for Lan.”
“Then were you rooting for me?”
“I don’t think so.”
“That means it’s a possibility. I’ll believe that you were cheering me on.”
“Why is that important?”
He lifts a shoulder, but his arm tightens around my middle. “Beats me.”
We remain like that for a while. Seconds. Minutes. During that time, his gaze gets lost in the lake and I watch his face.
This is the first time he’s sort of hugged me outside of sex, and I want to extend the moment for as long as possible.
“I’m going to stay the night,” I announce out of nowhere.
No, actually, I’ve been thinking about it all week long, but I’ve had the courage to say it out loud now.
His gaze slides to me and I can’t help feeling a tinge of discomfort at the sight of the bruises and cuts on his face.
“Why?” he asks, his tone curious instead of accusatory.
“Because I want to.”
“Why would you want to?”
“I told you. Because I want to get to know you.”
“Spending the night won’t allow you to get to know me.”
“Maybe not, but it’s a start.”
And I will fight tooth and nail to get a say in whatever we have.
23
JEREMY
What the fuck am I doing?
None of this is going to plan, and I can’t find a name for whatever ‘this’ is.
It’s as confusing as the girl who’s causing the whole fucked-up change. I hate change, especially when I haven’t anticipated it. There’s nothing more irritating than being in a situation I can’t predict.
I thought I knew Cecily Knight, that I’d found her buttons and identified everything that makes her tick.
But then again, watching or going through her things might’ve been the easiest part of understanding the girl who’s now sleeping wrapped around me.
This scene happened after she announced that she’d be staying the night.
She shouldn’t want to stay the night. I was fully expecting her to run after she saw me pummel her fucking prince. I had every intention of hunting the fuck out of her if that were the case, but still, the fact that she not only didn’t run but also came here early brought about an unwelcome change.
When I felt her presence behind me, I was overtaken by a powerful emotion that was novel to me. Because instead of nursing the fucker’s wounds, she came to me.
She chose me.
Or did she?
This could be a game she plotted with that motherfucker.
I wasn’t rooting for Lan.
Those were her words from earlier, bristling and dripping with unmatched honesty.
I release a long breath, and as if feeling my distress, Cecily buries her face further into my chest, mumbling something unintelligible.
My fingers glide in her silver hair, smoothing it down, and she goes slack against me, her small hand barely touching my shoulder. Her legs tucked in my lap and her tiny body pressed against mine.
Any other person would’ve fallen into this peaceful moment, taken it for what it is, and thought about everything else afterward.
I fucking can’t.