After fifteen minutes, I’m zoning out. This occurrence has been so frequent that it’s starting to worry me.
Lately, sleep paralysis and zoning out have become the bane of my existence. They’ve always been there, but I could cope, pretend they weren’t affecting my life.
Not anymore.
The other day, Ava said she was worried about me. Glyn, too. But I managed to wave them off.
I gently tap my cheeks and focus back on my book.
My phone vibrates on the table and I snatch it, my heart thundering back to life.
God, why am I like this?
Why do I have to have this reaction every time anyone texts me?
The name that shows on the screen isn’t the one I was waiting for, though. My shoulders hunch as I open the message.
Landon: Don’t you love it when it burns? Thanks for your services, Cecy.
My fingers shake as I open the video attached to the text. The scene of a burning mansion materializes in front of me.
Not just any mansion. The Heathens’.
The video was taken from an opposite angle, zoomed in to show students and firefighters running and trying to put the fire under control.
My phone falls to the table and I jump, grab it back, and call Landon. He picks up after two rings.
“Isn’t it exquisite?” His voice is eternally calm, a bit sadistic, and lacks a sliver of emotion.
“What have you done?” I whisper in a quivering voice.
“Me? I didn’t do anything aside from maybe selling inside intel about the Heathens’ compound to the Serpents and suggesting they start fireworks. Didn’t think they’d listen, but they’re vicious creatures, and their type love surprise attacks. If they eat each other, guess who comes out on top?”
I sway, both at the information he’s given me and at his apathetic manner of speech. I clutch the edge of the table for balance, sounding a lot calmer than I feel. “When you asked me to get information about the Heathens’ mansion layout, you said it was a negotiating chip and a defensive barrier in case they attacked you first. I didn’t want you, Bran, Remi, Creigh, or Eli hurt, which is why I agreed to the plan. You didn’t say anything about selling that intel to the Serpents.”
“Oh? I must’ve forgotten.”
“How could you do this?” I ask, incredulous. “Someone could get hurt!”
“Sacrifices need to be made for the greater good.”
My lips part and I hang up. There’s no talking any sense into him. I’ve always known Landon was unhinged, but I didn’t realize it was the manic, narcissistic type of unhinged until now.
He’s ready to sacrifice people for his own good and use me to do it.
My limbs won’t stop shaking as I pace the length of the room while dialing Anni.
“Hi, this is Annika. Leave a message and I’ll call you back ASAP.”
I hang up and tap on Jeremy’s contact with an unsteady finger.
It goes straight to voicemail, too.
I don’t think about it as I grab my keys and sprint out of the flat. During the drive, I keep calling both of them, but I get no reply.
When I arrive at the Heathens’ mansion gate, I find it closed.
A few TKU students linger outside, probably having heard about the fire, but from this distance, it’s nearly impossible to see anything.
I step out of the car and push through the crowd until I reach the gate. The smell of soot and smoke lingers in the air, but other than that, there’s no sign of the fire.
They must’ve put it out. Phew. That’s good.
A burly guard with a visible machine gun stands behind the gate and glares at me the moment I get too close.
“Step back,” he orders with a Russian accent and a harsh tone.
“I’m Annika’s friend. Can you please let me go see her?”
“No.”
“I want to make sure she’s okay.”
“She is. Now, step back.”
I release a breath. At least Anni is fine.
“How…how about everyone else?” I ask, telling myself it’s only to make sure Killian is also all right.
Glyn won’t be able to survive if something happens to her new-ish boyfriend. That’s it.
That’s all.
“Everyone except for Jeremy is okay.”
My heartbeat spikes up and I fist my hand by my side to prevent it from trembling.
“W-what happened to Jeremy?”
“That’s none of your concern. Leave before I make you.”
I grab the metal of the gate. “Tell me what happened to Jeremy.”
If he’s hurt because of what I’ve done, if something has happened to him due to my recklessness, I’ll never forgive myself.
The guard advances, probably to make good on his promise, when a leggy blonde breezes past me. She smells of an exotic perfume and looks to be straight off of a fashion runway with her low-cut dress, hourglass shape, and red lips.
Upon seeing her, the guard abandons his plan to dismantle me and opens the side gate for her.
“Where did you guys put Jeremy?” she asks in an American accent.
She’s here for Jeremy, too.
But unlike me, she obviously has access, because the guard’s tone changes to one of respect as he speaks, “Please go inside and they’ll direct you to where he rests, miss.”
She stops at the threshold and throws a glance at me. “And she is?”
“Miss Annika’s friend,” the guard replies.
Her look becomes one of distaste. “That midget always took pity on stray animals.”
“If you have something to tell me, say it out loud.” I speak calmly, clearly, despite the shaking in my insides or the cancerous thoughts plaguing my mind.
“Get the stray animal off the property,” she orders the guard, then storms inside.
When he steps forward, I back off. I don’t leave, though.
“If you’ll just let me know how Jeremy is doing, I’ll go.”
He lifts his gun, but another man appears behind him and taps his shoulder.
The newcomer looks no older than a student. He has white-blond hair, a square face, and a calm expression. And he looks familiar somehow.
Upon his tap, the guard at the front makes way for him.
“My name is Ilya and I’m Jeremy’s senior guard,” the blond tells me, and it’s then I notice that his clothes are full of soot.
“Hi,” I say awkwardly. “Is Jeremy okay?”
“No. He inhaled too much smoke and hurt his side during the escape attempt. He’s currently recuperating.”
My chest quakes and I physically jerk backward.
Oh, God.
What have I done?
16
JEREMY
“Who did you say came here?” I pause in the middle of the jog to stare at my running partner, Ilya.
Nikolai was with us when we took off from the house, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he got bored and decided to sleep under a tree.
He didn’t need to come along in the first place, but he’s been acting worse than my mother since the fire last night.
Granted, I almost died, but I didn’t. Despite having a closet fall across my middle, I got out of the incident with a few scratches, a gash on my stomach, and lacerations.
The doctor said I should recuperate, so jogging is the last thing I ought to be doing, but fuck that noise.
I need to purge the energy that’s been tearing me open worse than the injuries.