My mouth becomes dry, but I still ask, “Is that all?”
He releases a long breath and strokes my throat. “I also didn’t want you to feel guilty for a life I took for your sake. Because, unlike your claims, I do think from your perspective. And I’m also well aware that if I take one life, I’ll need to feel that rush again and again, until I get caught for it. While that option might have been negotiable in the past, it’s absolutely not a possibility now since it means I’d have to leave you.”
I snort. “I don’t know if I should feel special or horrified.”
He releases my throat and tucks a stray hair behind my ear. “Definitely the first.”
“Am I special?”
“If you weren’t, would I waste my time trying to see things from your perspective? I’m not an altruistic man, never was and never will be, but you’re part of me now, so I’ll get used to thinking the way you do.”
My previously broken heart, the heart that thought Killian crossed the line and that I’d have to ask Grandpa and even Lan to lock me away from him, has been slowly reviving back to life. It’s beating harshly now, as if the rush of oxygen is too much for it to handle.
As if this is all a pipe dream.
I try to speak, but I’m so choked up that it takes me a few attempts. “Do you mean that, or are you only saying it because you know I want to hear it?”
“Quit questioning everything I say or do. It really gets on my last nerve. Yes, I’m manipulative, but not with you. I have always been direct about what I want from you.”
“And what is that?”
“You being mine. I’ll give you the world in return.”
“The world?” A tear slides down my cheek. “What defines the world to you, Kill? Because for me, it’s waking up next to the man I love and being sure that he loves me, too. I don’t know when or how it happened, but I know that I fell in love with you. So hard that it hurts to know you’ll never feel the same.”
“Who says I never will?”
“Your nature. It’s not that you don’t want to change, it’s that you genuinely can’t.”
“Don’t go putting labels on me. See, what I gather about love is that it’s noble, tender, and means if you love someone enough, you may have to let them go. Understand this, Glyndon, there’s nothing noble or tender about what I feel for you. It’s a violent volcano of obsession, possession, and deranged lust. If you want love, then I do love you, but it’s the unorthodox version of love. I love you enough to let you within my walls. I love you enough to let you talk to my demons. I love you enough to allow you to have a hold over me when I’ve never allowed anyone to have the power to destroy me from the inside out.”
My heart beats so hard, I think it’s attempting to fly out of my chest and somehow fuse with his.
This can’t be learned behavior, not when his eyes are molten lava and he looks at me with an intensity that steals my breath.
“Killian…”
“Don’t even think about doubting my words again.”
“I wasn’t… I’m just touched.”
“Of course you are. I bet you like the tidbit about how you hold power over me.”
“It’s only fair with all the power you hold over me.” I lift a hand and stroke his cheek, smiling, then wincing when my lip throbs.
He doesn’t seem to like that, considering the way his brows dip. Then he takes my hand and kisses my palm, eliciting a shudder from deep within my soul. “I promise I’ll never allow anyone to hurt you again.”
I believe him.
With the blood on his fingers and hand, it sounds more sinister, but it’s all a part of Killian. And when I fell for him, I had to take the whole package.
The good, the ugly, and the fucked-up.
“Are you sure you won’t get bored of me, after all?” I poke.
“Oh, baby. Not even after death.”
I smile because I know he means every word. “Good, because guess what?”
“What?”
I lean over and whisper, “I’m yours.”
His nostrils flare and a muscle clenches in his jaw. “Repeat that.”
“I’m yours, Killian. I think I’ve been yours since we first met.”
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I lean against his chest slowly so that I don’t trigger my injuries.
No clue where we go from here, but I’m ready for the world Killian sets at my feet.
I’m also ready to grow into the courageous girl I become when I’m with him.
40
LEVI
THREE WEEKS LATER
I sit beside my uncle on the leather sofa in my office while my boys stand behind us with the stance of rookie soldiers.
Or Bran does. Lan has been exuding the type of destructive energy that gets people killed.
All four of us are staring at the person who’s sitting in the chair across from us. Despite having a plaster cast covering his right arm, he still looks nonchalantly presentable in dark trousers and a button-down.
His hair is styled, his expression resembles a wise monk’s, and he has all the indications to pass as a respectable human.
But I know better.
I never thought there would be a day when I’d be talking to the guy who’s sleeping with my daughter.
Scratch that, I’ve thought of it ever since Astrid and I learned we were expecting a baby girl, and the image always, without doubt, blurred my vision.
Is it too late to ask some witch to take us back in time so my daughter can remain forever young? Because I’m having a hard time coming to terms with this.
Uncle’s state is even worse, but his expression is more in the calculative range. Apparently, he meant it when he suggested beating this fucker to shreds and sending him back to the States with a one-way ticket.
An option I’m not entirely opposed to as it’d mean I’d get rid of the guy Glyndon so brazenly introduced to us with, “Mum, Dad, meet my boyfriend, Killian.”
Yes, she’s had boyfriends before but didn’t feel the need to bring them home. Also, I knew they kept their distance because Lan made sure of it. Apparently, he can’t with this Killian.
“Levi,” Uncle speaks to me without breaking eye contact with Killian. “Don’t you think this chap is shameless enough to show his face in your house after he broke Glyndon’s heart?”
“Indeed, Uncle. He could’ve stayed away and avoided us, but he apparently thought paying us a visit was the right thing to do.”
“Who’s going to tell him that his parents might not recognize him when we’re done with him?”
“Let’s not beat him too much, Uncle. You’re acquainted with his father, after all.” I let my eyes fall on Killian, who’s been following the entire conversation with the same blank expression. “Tell you what, kid. If you break up with Glyndon, and she knows it’s all your doing, we’ll spare you the torture.”