She breathes warm air deep inside her lungs. “How did we get here?”
“The limousine brought you here, Sandwich.”
She huffs at me with affection. “You know what I mean.”
I do. I’m just trying to lighten the moment. Jamieson is on the road to achieving everything they’ve ever dreamed of. I’ve worked hard, so hard, to get them to this point, but it’s come at a cost. Having focused all my energy on the band, there’s nothing left over for me. My dreams are on hold, but my determination has never wavered. I’m interviewing for an assistant next week. It will give me someone to hand the reins to when I make the switch from band manager to professional badass. I have my eye on a girl called Quinn Salisbury. I’ve seen her work the reception desk at Jettison Records, the same label about to sign the band.
My lips pinch together, hiding the smirk of satisfaction. Quinn is perfect. Not just for the job either. Travis is going to fall harder than a tonne of bricks. That will make it two interfering brothers down, one to go. It doesn’t make Mitch lucky last. He’s simply a tricky case. I know the girl meant for him. They were together in college and so in love it was painful to stand on the sidelines and watch it all fall apart. I don’t know what happened. Mitch’s girl went underground and my eldest brother has struggled to move on ever since.
“What?”
The word cuts through my thoughts. I turn my head. Evie is looking at me. “What do you mean, what?”
“You’re scheming something. I can see it on your face.”
My eyes widen. “Me? Scheme? Really, Evie. Sometimes I think you don’t know me at all.”
She does though. Except I like to think of them more as plans than schemes. Like my plan to convince Jared and Evie of the wonders of babies. Those sweet frilly outfits I’ve been eyeing won’t buy themselves. Though it’s not just an opportunity to shop for cutesy little dresses. It was Mum’s reaction when I’d selected a pink, fluffy bunny jacket from the rack—tiny enough for a doll—and held it up. Her intake of breath had been sharp, and her eyes had burned with emotion. A grandbaby. A grandbaby! Not only would I make the perfect aunt—teaching her how to shoot and shop, and showing her the importance of ambition and confidence—she would be a tiny little human for Mum and Dad to fuss over.
“You’re practically my sister now, Mac. I know you better than you know yourself.”
I abandon my cute baby thoughts in favour of a grimace. Guilt burns a hole in the lining of my stomach. Evie’s right. We’ve become closer than sisters, but what kind of sister keeps so much from the other? Jake is such a huge part of who I came to be, and who I am now, and she knows nothing of it. None of them do.
But I can’t tell them. They won’t understand why he did what he did, the same as I don’t. And while we’re all a little family, they’re his only family. No matter what he did in the past, I find it impossible to rip that out from under him by saying anything. So our history remains buried deep down below where the judgement of others can’t touch it.
I turn and see Jake behind me. My heart gives its familiar leap. He’s wearing a cap set backwards, his shirt off and tucked into the back pocket of worn jeans. He’s bent over, pants stretched tight as he shifts a drum into better position. My eyes lower. Jake’s butt is the stuff legends are made of. When he was born, God said, “And so it will be, that this human shall be blessed with the greatest posterior in all of the lands. There will be no greater.”
And so it was. Round, firm, squeezable. Dimples on either side highlight the powerful muscle underneath, and the rich golden tan of his back leads down to paler skinned cheeks, quite like trailing your eyes down the path to the Holy Grail.
Jake tilts his head, catching my eyes pinned to his ass. He gives me a wink. It’s not an affectionate gesture. Nor is it flirty. It’s a cool and detached acknowledgment.
Sleeping with him that night in his apartment caused a hurt I never expected. There have been more moments between us since. Angry sex. Nasty words. Hateful behaviour. But underneath it all exists a love just about damaged beyond repair. There’s a pulse but it’s faint and slowly fading. We’re killing it. But I don’t know how to stop what we’re doing. I can’t hold on, and I can’t let go.
Dragging my gaze away, I do my best to ignore the flare of pain and give Evie my attention. She’s been chattering the whole time and I’ve missed all of it.
“How are you feeling?” I ask when she takes a breath.
“Sick as fuck,” she mutters.
It’s no surprise. There was an incident last night. Evie landed herself in the hospital after being drugged and placed in a compromising position. Jared had, naturally, jumped to idiotic conclusions and took off in a childish tantrum. I’ve been trying to contact him since without any luck.
I tap the button on my headpiece and speak. “Someone get our lead singer a glass of water. With ice,” I add, because the sooner that crap is flushed from her system the better.
“Thanks,” Evie mutters, her expression grim, and I know her thoughts are on my stupid brother.
I give her a pat on the back. I’m not the best at soothing gestures, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. “I’ll try calling him again. In the meantime, go to the dressing room and shut your eyes for a few minutes, okay?”
She leaves and I walk to the side of the stage where Travis stands. “Heard from Jared?”
Travis’s lips press in a flat line as he checks his phone. He shakes his head. “He’ll be okay, Mac.”
“I know, Travis. If only he would just check in so we could sort this freaking mess out.”
“He’ll show up,” he says patiently.
I think my brothers sucked all the patience genes from our mother before I was born because I don’t have a single one in my body.
“Yes, yes. I know he will eventually and love will prevail and I’ll finally get my little niece, but I’m not the most patient of people, Travis.”
He snorts. “No shit.”
“So any idea of what this Jimmy asshole might do tonight?”
JAKE
We’re wrapping up our second last song of the night when Mac disappears. She’s not by the side of the stage giving orders like she usually is. My stomach knots, and my instincts already scream that something’s wrong.
Everyone is so focused on watching Evie that they’re blind to the real danger. Jimmy is after retribution. While all of his recent attacks have been focused on Evie, none of them have caused serious harm, and maybe they aren’t supposed to. Maybe they’re a distraction. Retribution is like for like. Jimmy’s brother for Jared’s sister.
It’s entirely possible that Mac is the real target.
And she isn’t here.
The show ends. We conclude our post-concert wrap-up in the dressing room and still no sign of her. I’ve tried calling her phone but we’re always so pissed at each other, knowing it’s me she’s unlikely to answer anyway.
Travis sticks his head in the door, eyes scanning the room. “Where’s Mac?”