I took the material of his suit in my hands and tore it open. “Help me,” I pleaded to Noah as I grabbed Noah’s hand.
I had never healed any one before, but I had seen Noah do it often. He always seemed serene and calm when he laid his hands on people. I willed the panicked thoughts away and embraced the peace. I breathed in through my nose and exhaled it out my mouth. As I exhaled the third time, I felt the gift from within rise. It felt like how it felt earlier. I felt more centered, more powerful, with holding my connections hands. I could feel the gentle breeze in the air as it bounded our gifts together. I moved our hands over the open wound, seeing the invisible threads behind my eyelids as they knitted his flesh back together again.
I opened my eyes when I felt the gift leave us. I expected to see the gentle rise and fall of Collins chest. I didn’t expect to see his sightless eyes.
“No!” I yelled in shock, anger, and helplessness.
Noah quickly wrapped me in his arms, his eyes full of pain and sorrow. I could feel his feelings so close to mine. “It was too late, Blake. It was too late, Love. No matter what we did. He was already gone,” he whispered urgently in my ear.
Great pain ripped through me as I sobbed quietly in Noah’s arms. He rocked me and crooned to me. He told me repeatedly that I did everything I could. He told me sometimes we lost people. He told me how much he cared for me, and together we could get through this.
When I finally looked up, I realized we were in the middle of an audience. I could see fear, surprise, awe, pride, envy, and a full range of emotions across everyone’s faces. I didn’t know everyone had stopped what they were doing and watched as Noah and I had tried to save the only person we had lost that night. I continued looking around, not sure how I should react to their attention, until my eyes lit on the face full of guilt.
I stood up, anger motivating my movements. “It’s all your fault!” I screamed as I launched myself at Ned. “You ran right past him! He was fine then! He didn’t have a hole in his chest! You wouldn’t help me go get him. You left him! You left me! You left us!”
I wildly swung at him. I was seeing him through tunnel vision. I saw blood. I didn’t care. It wasn’t until Remy, the only one strong enough to handle me right now, picked me up did I feel all the anger leave me in a rush. I was tired. I had tapped into my gifts one too many times tonight. I felt a giant wave of exhaustion hit me all at once. I saw the blackness threatening to close in on me and I let it.
Chapter 18
I vaguely recalled the truck ride home. I felt myself being lifted out of the vehicle and taken up to my bathroom. I was cradled in someone’s arms as the sound of water reached my ears. I felt someone else’s hands disrobe me.
“Trash it,” I heard Jace command.
I was transferred to someone else’s arms and carried somewhere else. I felt warm water begin to wash over me. Someone’s hands put something in my hair, lathering it up. I watched as I saw diluted blood run down the drain. Someone was running my loofah along my body, as I laid cradled in one of their arms.
“Sleep,” I muttered. “Hungry.” I wanted to sleep but my stomach was cramping horribly with hunger. My other needs within were taking the back seat tonight.
“Is Drake done with her soup?” Noah asked as continued lathering up my body.
“He should be,” Jaxson grunted as he shifted my weight to the other side so that Noah could reach other places.
“I have her towel ready,” Jace said softly. Like he was in a library, not wanting to disturb anyone.
“She still has blood in her hair,” Remy stated as he lathered more shampoo in my hair.
We all stood under the sprays of my shower for a few more minutes. Or it could have been hours. I lost all track of time.
“Drake is back,” Troy said as he came back into the room.
I was shifted once more, the chilly air hitting me as we left the confines of my shower. Jace wrapped me in the warm towel and sat down on the edge of my bed as Troy rubbed a towel over my hair, repeatedly.
“Here’s some clothes,” Jaxson stated as I was laid on the bed. He pulled my arm through a shirt, too big on me, and slid some underwear over my legs. I vaguely recognized his smell on the shirt.
Remy propped pillows under my head.
“Blake, I brought you something,” Drake said soothingly. A warm spoon was placed against my lips and I eagerly opened it. A warm onion and beef broth filled my mouth, before I swallowed.
I mechanically let Drake feed me before I heard Jace say. “I think she’s had enough. Let her sleep.”
“I’m staying here,” Noah insisted as I felt his warm body slide in beside me.
“Me too,” Jaxson stated as I felt his bare hard chest press against her my back.
“I guess I’ll pull out some air mattresses,” Jace sighed.
“I’ll take her couch,” Remy grunted.
“I’ll grab the pillows and blanket,” Troy volunteered.
“I’m going to clean up the kitchen, and then I’ll be back,” Drake said before I heard the rattling of the spoon in the bowl.
I woke up to several annoying alarms going off. I felt physically warm, but emotionally numb. I had every reason to despise Collin, but it was hard to separate the boy who had been sweet to me and the man who he had become. I didn’t know if he would have remained loyal to us, but deep down I believed he had been trying. Didn’t that count for something?
I mourned at the loss of a young life, too soon to part from earth. I mourned for the man he had been trying to be. I even felt sadness at the possibility that his child would grow up never knowing him. It was proven yet, but deep down I felt the child was his.
Sadness was quickly replaced by anger. Anger at Horatio. Anger at Ned. I didn’t want that selfish prick near me or the children. How could I trust a man willing to abandon a team member? He had already shown his true colors. His self-preservation outweighed his ability to sacrifice for others. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if he’d only taken the extra five seconds to lean down and help Collin up, Collin would still be alive this morning.
Remy stood up first and stretched. He rubbed a weary hand across his face. “Time to get up. Day 1 of training starts today,” his voice boomed filling the room.
I turned and buried my head in Noah’s chest. “No,” I said resolutely.
Noah rubbed my back languidly. “Maybe we should start tomorrow,” he said with a big yawn.
“It’s 6 a.m., we just fell asleep a few hours ago,” Jaxson groaned as he placed one of his hands up my shirt and onto my bare hip.
“Do you think Horatio is waiting until tomorrow? Do you think he cares if we aren’t ready for whatever he may have coming for us?” Jace spoke as he stood up.
I snapped my head around and met his piercing blue eyes. “That’s not fair.”
“But it’s true,” Troy groaned as he twisted his body back and forth, attempting to stretch out his back.
“I’ll grab us some protein bars,” Drake yawned.