Nothing.
“Fuck!” I say again, standing and pacing the parking lot. I shove a hand into my hair, trying to think of any other way I might be able to contact her.
I lean against the truck and fist a hand in my hair, because the only thing I can think of is a trip back to Roosevelt High.
She just left the hotel. She’ll call. She has to call.
But if she doesn’t, I’ll risk what I have to and find her the only way I can.
Chapter 26
Addie
I get off the bus and start up the Oakland street toward the apartment where Marcus rocked my world. I don’t really know why I’m here, except Marcus’s sister has been through this once already, and I need to talk to her. And, even though I’ve cut myself off from him, I need to know he’s okay.
It’s been a month since I was here with Marcus. A month since I’ve seen or spoken to him. A month of hell.
Dad found a job at a small software startup and is doing better since he’s been working, so that’s something. Every day he seems to find another piece of himself. I still haven’t found the courage to tell him I know about him and Becky, though. I don’t want to be responsible for setting him back when he’s just getting his bearings again.
The first thing he did with his paycheck was to move us out of the fleabag hotel we were living in to an apartment in San Jose. I’m on my third high school of my senior year, and my new counselor is very concerned about the effect that will have on my college applications, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I didn’t call Marcus to tell him, because right now, all I can do is make things worse for him.
I pull my sweater tighter around me against the cold December drizzle and walk faster. Last time I was here, my whole world hadn’t turned as gray as the spitting sky. I was windblown and chapped from our sailing lesson on the Bay, but I was warm inside from an entire day in Marcus’s presence.
Now, I’m nothing but cold.
I find the place and step up to the door. There’s a row of five buttons on the wall. I try to remember what number was on his sister’s door, but my only clear memory of the landing at the top of the stairs is Marcus kissing me. It was the first door we came to, so I push 2A. When there’s no answer after a minute, I lift my hand to press 2B.
“Um…excuse me,” a voice says from behind me, and when I turn, I’m staring into Marcus’s cinnamon eyes set in a pretty female face that is so like his.
“Blaire?” I ask, my voice shaking.
She sets down the grocery bag in her hand, her expression a mix of curious caution. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”
“I…um…” I take a deep breath. “My name is Addie Grace. I’m a…friend of Marcus’s.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh.” She just stands there staring at me for an awkward moment before she seems to remember herself. She extends her arm. “It’s nice to meet you, finally.”
I shake it and she picks up her bag and keys the door open.
“Come up,” she says, holding it open with her foot.
I follow her up the narrow set of stairs and she opens the door at the top. When I step inside, the memory of being here with Marcus is like a kick to my stomach.
She sets the bag on the floor near the refrigerator. “Go ahead and sit.”
I find a seat on the couch before my legs give and watch her unload a few things into the fridge.
“Something to drink?” she asks when she’s done.
I shake my head.
She comes over and sits on the other end of the couch. “As of this morning, Marcus didn’t know where you were, so I’m guessing he doesn’t know you’re here.”
I shake my head again, realizing this is a wasted trip if I can’t find words.
She tips her head at me. “Can I ask you…why are you running from him?”
I blow out a shaky breath. “He’s already being charged with sexual battery. I don’t want to make things worse for him.”
“I can respect that,” she says with a nod. She leans back into the corner of the couch. “I can remember having some of those same thoughts.”
“That’s why I’m here, I guess. Marcus said your husband went to jail.” I fist a hand in my hair. “You’ve been through all this, and I just…I’m not sure what to do.”
“I think what you do is just keep the faith, Addie. Believe me, I know it’s hard, but my biggest regret is that I didn’t wait for Caiden. My whole life would have unfurled differently if I’d just believed in our love.”
I close my eyes as those words roll through my brain. I do believe in our love. More than I’ve ever believed in anything.
“His charges don’t have anything to do with you,” she continues, “so when the smoke clears, I think you’ll be fine.”