We’re seven weeks into our tour. It’s our twenty-fourth show and I’m exhausted. But tonight my best friend Lilah and her boyfriend Bran are coming to the show. It’s been so long since we’ve had any time together and I’m dying to see her.
We drove all night from Portland and pulled into the lot at AT&T Park at dawn, but the day has been full of interviews with the local TV shows and sound checks. That’s the part I’m getting really tired of. Onstage, I feel the same energy I always have. When I’m performing, I’m in my zone and I don’t worry so much about fucking up anymore. But it’s the interviews, where they still ask about my love life and all kinds of other crap that isn’t anyone’s business but mine, that wear me down. I’m starting to get why Tro doesn’t do them.
Max grabs me on the way out the door after the sound check. “The buses aren’t leaving till morning, so the guys are all going into the city after the show.” He grins at me. “Been a while since we’ve had a carriage ride. You should come.”
“Sorry. I have plans.”
He frowns. “Your manager has you on too tight a leash, Shiloh. This is your coming out party. Live a little.”
I shake my head. “It’s not Billie. My best friend is coming tonight, and I really just want some time to catch up with her.”
He throws his hands in the air. “You’re really not making this fair, you know. I’m charming and loveable. You should be out of your mind falling for me by now, but you keep dodging me.”
“Don’t take it personally,” I say, backing away a step. “I don’t do love.”
He looks stricken. “But everybody loves me.”
Now’s the time. I take a breath and get serious. “Look, Max, you’re a really cool guy and all, but…” My hand moves in a circle between us. “…this just isn’t going to happen.”
All the play leaves his expression. “You know Gunnison’s only giving you the time of day because he wants into your pants.”
I raise my eyebrows at him and smile a little, trying to lighten the blow. “And that’s different from you, how?”
His eyes remain hard for a second, but then he shakes his head as his jaw unclenches. “You really have no fucking clue what you’re missing, Lucky. I’m seriously all that.”
I decide to let the “Lucky” slide. Everywhere I go, people are calling me that. It’s like trying to stop a boulder rolling downhill. “I’m sure you are.”
He gives me that cocky smile and a small nod, then heads backstage. “See you tonight.”
“See you tonight,” I say, turning for the door. I hurry back to the bus because Lilah and her boyfriend are supposed to be here any minute, and when I get there, they already are.
“Oh my God!” Lilah squeals when I step into the bus. She slams into me.
“Got a call from security,” Billie says with a smile. “Thought you wouldn’t mind if I let them in.”
A big guy in jeans and a dark blue T-shirt, with a longish dark hair and tattoos up his arms stands back near the couch with his hands in his pockets and his head lowered. Lilah told me her boyfriend was ex-Marine and older, but she failed to mention how hot he is. When she finally unwraps herself from me, she takes my hand and pulls me deeper into the bus to where he is.
“Lo, this is Bran.”
I shake his outstretched hand. “It’s great to finally meet you.”
He nods. “Congrats on all your success.”
“Thanks.”
Billie comes over with an envelope and pulls two lanyards out. “These are your backstage passes,” she tells them. “They need to be worn all the time or security will likely remove you.”
“This is so amazing,” Lilah says, looping hers around her neck. She looks at me and shakes her head a little. “I can’t believe this is your life now.” She holds up a hand as her eyes widen. “I mean, I totally can. I always knew this would happen for you, but…” She makes a vague gesture at our surroundings. “I can’t believe it.”
I smile and pull her down on the couch. “God, I’ve missed you. How have you been? Tell me everything.”
She glances at Bran. “I’m good.”
She sounds unsure, and for a second I wonder if Bran is hurting her or something. But then she elaborates. “I’ve been to see my mom in jail.”
“Oh,” I say as understanding dawns.
Lilah and her older sister Destiny showed up at my group home one night when Lilah and I were fourteen. They were soaking wet and covered with soot, but neither of them would tell me exactly what happened. The next morning, Destiny told me that their house burned down. Their parents were methheads and ran a lab out of their kitchen, so it wasn’t really a surprise that they’d blown up the house, but the cops had hauled their parents to jail. That meant that Lilah and Destiny were on their own.
They managed to stay out of the system even though Destiny was only nineteen. But Lilah and Destiny never once went to see their parents in jail. Until now, apparently.
“How did it go?”
“Did you know my father died in the fire?” she asks.
I feel my face go cold. “I thought he was in jail with your mom.”