Lilah stays until closing tonight, and it suddenly hits me that all those nights I thought she was leaving to see someone, she probably had a curfew. A stab of panic slices through my gut with the reality of Lilah’s age. Sixteen. God, that was a long time ago. But I must be getting used to the idea, because the panic isn’t incapacitating anymore and it passes quickly.
My sister Brenda is covering nights until Carol comes back, which should be just after New Year’s. She punches out a little before one and turns off the lit OPEN sign in the window on her way out. And then it’s just Lilah and me.
“How’s Destiny?” I ask as she packs away her guitar.
“Better. We have a session together with her therapist on Monday and then they might let her come home.” She looks up at me with a spark of panic. “I know you want her stamp of approval, but what if she says no? What if she still wants to move?”
I brace my hands on the bar to keep from leaping over it to comfort her. “Then we’ll deal with it.”
“How?”
“Maybe we just have to wait until you turn eighteen.” My heart turns to stone in my chest at the thought and I pray it doesn’t come to that.
Her panic ebbs and her whole face softens. “You would wait over a year for me?”
She looks suddenly so innocent and the breath leaves my lungs. “I would wait forever for you. I’ve survived snipers and landmines, and I honestly never fully understood why we were even there. But with you, my eyes are wide open. I’m making the choice, and whatever the consequences are, I’m ready to handle them. If I have to wait, I’ll wait. But I’ll never quit you, Lilah. I can’t.”
She comes slowly around to my side of the bar and loops her arms around my neck, and when she pulls me into a kiss, I’m helpless to stop her. Now that I have her in my arms, I’m totally unwilling to let her go. We kiss for long enough that she finally tips her head back, gasping for air. My lips skim her long throat to her pulse point and I flick my tongue there, causing her to gasp. But when she reaches for the throbbing bulge in my jeans, I know I’ve taken this too far.
“I’ve been wanting to fuck you on this bar since the first time you walked in here,” I growl. I let her go and back away. “And I will, but not tonight.”
She takes a deep breath and straightens her clothes. “All this for Destiny’s approval?”
“I used to think what I did didn’t matter—that no one gave a shit.” I start switching off lights. “But I met a girl a few months back, and she made me not want to be such a fucking dick all the time. So I’m trying.” Once the room is dark, I pull her into my arms. “I’m bound to fuck up here and there, because that’s what I do, but I’m going to at least try to get this off on the right foot.”
I kiss her again, slow and deep, then guide her to the door. I grab her guitar on the way and toss it in my backseat. When we reach her apartment, I kiss her again. “Lock up and text me when you’re going to bed.”
“Why?”
I grin. “Because that’s when I’ll be jacking off and imagining myself all up inside you.”
She leans in slowly and lays a soft, warm kiss on my mouth. “You don’t have to imagine.”
I tip my forehead into hers. “Yes I do. For now.”
She takes a deep breath then shoulders out her door. She leans in before she closes it. “I like you better when you’re bad.”
I hand her guitar out to her and she turns for the apartment. I wait for her to disappear behind the security door and the light to turn on upstairs before I pull away.
She texts me a selfie fifteen minutes later. It’s from the waist up and she’s naked, her perfect round tits pointing at the camera and her nipples pricked into tight nubs. One hand is twisted into the blond hair strewn across her pillow. She’s all bedroom eyes and pouty lips and that look tightens my balls.
I grab my key and storm to the door, because I fucking need her more than oxygen right now. I ache all over with want, and I know she won’t turn me away when I pound on her door and take what I need from her.
But my newfound conscience stops me in my tracks before I even get the door open. I made a promise to myself and part of being the guy she deserves is keeping it. So I do exactly what I told her I would. I drop onto the couch, pull out my throbbing cock, and go to town. Because it’s the only way I’m going to be able to keep that promise.
Chapter 28
Lilah
When Destiny’s therapist called and asked me to come in for a session, I thought we’d be talking about Destiny. We’re not. Destiny’s not even in the room.
Mary The Therapist looks at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.
“I don’t really see what this has to do with anything,” I say, evading.
She leans forward, her elbows on her knees. “It has to do with how trauma from your past manifests in your life today.”
“But what does that have to do with Destiny?”
Mary’s face goes all concern. “You and your sister were subjected to some horrible experiences by the people who you instinctively trusted to protect you. That leaves scars. In situations where siblings have shared trauma, they can feed off each other triggers.”