“Well, this is pretty bottom if you ask me,” Cormac said. “I’m going to hit the couch. Whiskey’s got me torn up good.”
Cormac went to the couch and crashed hard. I was pretty sure he was asleep before his head touched the cushion.
I sat there for the next hour alone, sipping whiskey and watching the fire burn. It started to die out and I knew Cormac could survive without a fire overnight. With as much whiskey as he had in his body he could survive a week in the arctic, butt naked.
Still, I stood and went to the fireplace. I grabbed two logs and tossed them in.
“What do you think?”
“It’s… trees…”
“We’re in the woods, darling.”
“I know that, Finn.”
“But right here. Right here…” I slip my hands to her waist and pull her close. “Right here, pretend we’re standing in front of the fireplace. A fire burning. A gentle snow falling…”
“Wow, look at you. All poetic. And here I thought your mouth was only good for one thing.”
“Damn, woman. You talk filthy sometimes.”
“You don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t…”
I turned from the fireplace and wiped the corners of my eyes.
My life had become a game. A game of fighting and making money. Even when the darkness took over, I still left it as a game. A game to fight in a different way, through Fiore. And the women. They were nothing but a game.
I looked at the bedroom.
Was Shayna a game?
I walked to the bedroom and watched her sleep. She was rolled up in the sheets, but her right leg stuck out. It was bent, pulling the sheets up her body, showing off her panties and the sweet curve of her ass. Whiskey gave me temptation and my fingertips tingled as I approached the bed.
I reached down and touched the back of her thigh. I ran up to her ass and cupped her. My fingertips slipped into the back of her panties. I curled my fingers, feeling warmth. I leaned down a little, taking a breath, letting my fingers move some more. My fingers kept going, following the natural curve of her beautiful body. When I touched between her legs, she wasn’t ready, but that didn’t mean I stopped.
Shayna stirred, letting out a purring groan.
A second later, I felt the trickling of wetness. Her body’s reaction to my touch left me gritting my teeth. With two fingers, I gently rubbed her sex. The gentle moisture quickly became a flood. I had broken the dam of her desire. My fingers eased between her folds and I pressed, feeling the tightness of her entrance.
Then I froze.
I pulled back and Shayna groaned again.
I looked at her face and her eyes were open. “Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Please, Finn, don’t stop…”
Her hand reached for my wrist, but I was quicker. I took my hand away from her body. I grabbed the sheets and put them over her exposed body. But she didn’t stop. She grabbed my wrist, then my hand. She interlocked her fingers to mine.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I want to know everything. I want the truth.”
I slid down to my ass and put my back against the bed. I wasn’t going to sleep in the same bed as Shayna, but I wouldn’t leave her side.
We were still holding hands.
“The truth?” I said, staring nowhere. “The truth, sweetie…” I looked back at her. At the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. A woman who scared me, thrilled me, and made me want more. And I hadn’t even fucked her yet. “The truth is… we’re dead.”
24.
(Shayna)
I knew we were wasting time together. Day after day, I watched Finn slip in and out of darkness. It consumed him one second and let him free the next. When he was in his dark place, he destroyed the punching bag. The sight was like nothing I’d ever seen before. The way he’d punch it, the way he’d grunt, and the way he’d send the thing swaying back and forth was nothing but sheer anger, pain, and muscle.
He always did it without a shirt on. His back rippled with intense muscle. And the worst part (or maybe it was the best part) was that as he hit the bag harder, he sweat more, and when he sweat his muscles glistened with even more definition.
When Finn was in his dark place, he didn’t talk to me.
He punched the bag and drank whiskey.
During the times he got out of the darkness, he became what I had come to know as typical Finn. Which meant he looked at me with an intense stare, he flirted with me, he touched me, and he left me teetering on the edge of waiting desperately to be thrown over his shoulder and taken to bed.
But he never did.
Finn and I still hadn’t…
I felt stupid as I looked at him, waiting for it to happen. Like we were some old couple who lost their spark. Or we were some new couple with a wild spark but still hadn’t done it. The feeling in my stomach left me feeling wild. I never wanted someone as bad as I wanted Finn, yet the feelings went deeper.
I had to want him. Because of Fiore. Because of what Fiore wanted.
Nothing was normal and I couldn’t allow it to be normal.
So I waited… and watched…
“I’m going to chop firewood,” Finn said. He walked to the front door and left.