She grudgingly signed her name and included her phone number (again), her mother’s words playing in her head. Just because someone is mean to you doesn’t mean you can be mean back. She stepped back outside and tucked the note in his windshield wipers once again.
Stomping back toward her door, she noticed a crumpled ball of paper at the far side of her welcome mat, practically in the neglected corner of her porch. As though it had been thoughtlessly tossed and then blown there by the wind. Dread pooled in her stomach.
She stopped, her gaze narrowing on the familiar pale green paper.
No, he did not.
She advanced on the crumpled paper. Bending, she scooped it up, already knowing, already recognizing. It was her note. Her dread took a hard turn into indignation. He’d read her note and tossed it aside. That was how little he thought of her. That was the kind of neighbor she was dealing with. One who banged women silly, rejected her scones, destroyed her notes and parked in her spot.
Inside her house, she changed her clothes, then turned on her television and went about making dinner, inhaling through her nose until she felt calm and composed. She stood in front of her pantry, inspecting its contents. She felt like she deserved a little bit of comfort food, so she went with pasta. At first she started making enough for two. Old habit left from when she lived with her father. Suddenly, loneliness stabbed at her. She sniffed back a sudden burn of tears and returned half the pasta to its box. What was wrong with her? She’d wanted independence, freedom.
She still wanted that, she reminded herself. Rude neighbor not withstanding, she loved her new place. She just hadn’t thought about what being alone would feel like.
Even when she was in college and grad school she’d had roommates. She shook off her longing for the sounds of her father walking down the creaking hallway of her old family house—or the sound of a baseball game on the living room television punctuated by Dad’s occasional shout. She smiled ruefully at the memory and then gave her head a swift shake. She would be visiting home on Sunday and baking his favorite meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Hale would be there, too, doubtless shouting at some game on the TV alongside Dad. She’d get her fix of home and family.
Besides, she reminded herself, she had a date tomorrow night. Whether Brendan was Mr. Right or not, she was getting out there. She’d find someone eventually. She knew she had a lot to offer. She didn’t have to be alone forever. Not if she didn’t want that for herself. Life was full of choices. She was in control of her fate.
She returned her attention to the sauce for her pasta, tossing in bits of bacon into the bubbling concoction of olive oil, milk, and parmesan cheese.
While the sauce finished simmering, she poured a glass of wine. This evening had become about comfort and indulgence, after all. It had been a long day. Sitting with a bowl of creamy pasta in her lap in front of her television, she found an episode of Modern Family. Burrowing deep into the thick cushions of her couch, she scooped up a big spoonful of spiral noodles and took a bite, moaning in approval.
The episode was almost over when she heard her neighbor’s door open and shut. Without getting up, she pushed the mute button and angled her head, listening as keys jangled. She heard North Callaghan’s steady tread over the concrete of their shared porch.
She resisted the impulse to go to the window and spy on him through her blinds. Along with fighting down that impulse, she crushed the flare of curiosity over where he was going, what he was doing—who he was doing. None of her business.
She sat rock-still on her couch, her fingers clutched tightly around her spoon. He had to have seen the new note by now. She waited, imagining him grabbing it off his windshield. She envisioned the tall length of him standing in their driveway as he read it. Maybe. Probably. Perhaps now his conscience would prevail upon him and guide him to her door. She listened for a knock.
An engine started. That was a no then. He wasn’t coming to her door.
She gave a sigh of disgust, unmuted the TV and went back to watching her show where everything was laughter and everyone was happy and life was full.
She was a persistent little thing. Well, not little. He’d seen enough of her body through the blinds to know that.