“My jackpot kiss?”
“It was the first time a man kissed me because it was the perfect time and place for a kiss. The right moment. Not because he hoped it would lead to something else.”
“But I did want it to lead to something else,” Jonah said. “This. Us.”
I smiled at the warmth that spread through me for those words. “That’s a first, too.”
The day melted away as we wandered San Diego, then wound up back at the hotel. To make love, to sleep a little. We showered and went for dinner at a little crab shack, and after, we climbed into the rented convertible as twilight deepened to night.
“There’s still time if you want to see your parents,” Jonah said. “Don’t not go on my account, Kace. It isn’t about me.”
I took a breath. “I really don’t want to see or talk to them. But maybe…We could go by the house. I wouldn’t mind that.” It was the truth: I wanted—needed—to know if the house was still my home.
Jonah revved the engine. “Let’s do it.”
“All right. But…put the top up, okay? So they don’t see me.”
He smiled and pushed the button. The car’s top unfolded and dropped down, clicking into place.
I directed Jonah to the Bridgeview neighborhood, where the houses were smaller than the big behemoths of Mission Hills to the west.
“That one,” I said, my heart pounding in my ears. “Stop here.”
Jonah pulled to the curb. Across the street and a bit down was the two-story house in pale blue paint with white trim. My parents’ old Subaru was parked on the street.
“They can’t use the garage,” I said absently. “It’s full of old furniture and antiques my dad inherited when my grandmother died.” My eyes swept the house, lingered on the yellow squares of light from the front windows. “They’re home,” I said softly.
Jonah leaned over the console, his head by my shoulder. He took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Whatever you want to do, Kace.”
The house blurred as tears filled my eyes. “I’m so proud you’re with me, Jonah. It would fucking suck to watch my dad miss everything wonderful about you because he’s ashamed of me.”
“Do you want to go in alone?”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Maybe he’s changed,” he said. “He’s cold on the phone but maybe if he saw your face, up close. Saw how beautiful you are, and how much you love him. Because it’s all right there in your eyes, Kace. He might see it and things would be different.”
“I don’t know,” I said slowly.
The front door opened and my parents came out.
I clutched Jonah’s hand in a vise grip as they went down the walk toward their car. In the light of the streetlamps I could see my mother, small and birdlike, wearing a neat blue dress with a black purse. Beside her, my father was tall and lean in a navy suit and yellow tie.
“They’re going out,” I said.
“You can do it,” Jonah said softly.
I mustered my courage, my will, added it to the overwhelming desire to talk to my parents. Seeing them after four years swamped me with nostalgia, even if so little of it with my dad was good.
“Okay,” I said, and reached for the door handle.
But then my father stopped at the passenger door of the Subaru. He turned to my mother.
“Wait,” I whispered, laying a hand on Jonah to still him.
My father was saying something. We were parked too far away to hear, but I could see my mother tilt her head up. Her brittle, plastic smile bloomed into something spontaneous and joyful. She tossed her head—a carefree, almost girlish gesture I’d never seen before. Her laugh floated across the street and my father brushed his thumb over her chin—a lover’s caress. Romantic.
“Dad.” My mouth shaped the word without a sound as he opened the passenger door for my mother. When he moved around to the driver’s side, his stride was almost a strut, his angular, stony face soft and amused.
“Kace, they’re going,” Jonah said.
“Let them go,” I whispered.
“Are you sure?”
But the car was moving away from the curb and disappearing down the street. My fingers lifted off the window frame in a small wave.
Jonah’s fingers caressed the back of my neck. “Why?”
“They looked so happy,” I whispered. “I’ve never seen them look like… It was such a moment, you know? If I’d gotten out and surprised them, it would have ruined it.”
His hand played soft in my hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Maybe he’s better,” I said, “now that I’m gone. I’m not trying to be a martyr. I just mean…maybe he’s happier. Which makes them better together. I wouldn’t want to mess that up. God, they looked so in love…” I exhaled, and looked back at Jonah with a weak smile. “Let’s go back to the hotel. We have an early flight in the morning.”