“Pretend what?”
I shrugged, and ran my fingers along the cheap tile. But it was my cheap tile on my kitchen counter. “Pretend that I was doing what I wanted to do. Being on my own like this is better for me.”
Lola hissed a sigh. “No one put a gun to your head to join the band.”
“Lola,” I said firmly. “I love you. You’re my best friend. You saved my ass and I’ll never be able to repay you for that. If I’d kept going like I was, I would’ve wound up dead or in an extremely bad place. You know this.”
Another sigh, this one softer. “Yeah, I know. So how about the simple fact this sucks because I miss you?”
I smiled. “I miss you too. How’s the new chick?”
“She’s okay. Jeannie doesn’t hate her. Yet.”
“Give her time.”
“How’s your new place? You didn’t go overboard with your huge fortune, did you? Thirty grand sounds like a lot but it’s going to go fast. Especially on a cocktail waitress’ salary.”
“No kidding. I had to buy a car—used—and furnish my little place. They just opened an IKEA here last month. My apartment looks like a live advertisement.”
I didn’t have the guts to tell her I also spent $5,000 on a top-of-the-line bed, currently en route—or possibly already delivered—to Jonah’s place. It could be adjusted to raise the head or foot so a person could sleep in any position they wanted. I couldn’t stand the idea of Jonah spending one more night in that goddamned recliner just to keep his chest elevated, and I knew he’d never buy a bed like this on his own.
“So what happens next?” Lola asked. “You’re going to write your own songs again? Become a YouTube star? I’m not being facetious—you’re really talented, hon. This could be the start of something big.”
“Thanks, Lo,” I said, my eye turning to the perfume bottle on the windowsill. I smiled. “I’m going to take it slow. See what happens.”
A pause. “And how’s your friend? The guy with the heart condition?”
“He’s fine. He and his brother have been coming over whenever they could to help me assemble the furniture.”
The thought made my smile broaden. Jonah had taken his personal time between the hot shop and A-1 to help me, dragging Theo with him whenever his brother wasn’t working at Vegas Ink.
Lola’s next words killed my smile. “Your friend, Jonah…can he lift heavy stuff like furniture?”
God, everyone’s a doctor.
“Of course,” I said. “He’s totally fine.”
“Totally fine? A week ago you told me he was dying.”
I clenched my teeth. I could control the words when they stayed in my head. Hearing someone else say them made emotion surge up in my gut.
“I was in a bad place when I said that,” I said. “Poor choice of words.”
“Kacey…”
“He’s fine. He’s strong—”
“Fucking hell...”
“I mean it, Lola. I have to go.”
“Where?” Lola demanded. “Back to burying your head in the sand? This isn’t like a bill you can’t pay, so you chuck it in the garbage and pretend you never got it. And the next thing you know, they shut off the lights and you’re left in the dark. I know it’s what you do, Kacey. You just brush shit aside and pretend everything’s okay until it isn’t.”
“It’s not like that,” I whispered.
“No? Sure sounds like it.”
“He’s fine. He really is.”
My thoughts went back to when Jonah picked me up at the airport ten days ago. He held up a big sign with my name on it, and joked that it was the last time he’d be my limo driver. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight, and I felt his heartbeat against my chest, strong and steady…
“So he’s been cured?”
“Shut up, Lola. He’s fine right now. I’m not going to spend whatever time we have dwelling on maybes and what-ifs. And it’s fucking awful of you to try to ruin my happiness.”
“I’m not trying to ruin anything for you, Kacey. I’m trying to protect you.”
“Well, I’m done needing your protection. I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you? Because it sounds like you’ve taken yourself out of one shitty situation and plopped yourself smack in the middle of another.” A pause. “Are you two…together? Please tell me you’re not crazy enough to get involved with a guy who’s…really sick.”
“We’re just friends. Good friends. One of the best I’ve had in a while. He makes me feel like I can be myself.” I sounded petulant but I had made a plan to live moment by moment. I wasn’t ready to look ahead four months. Not yet.
Maybe never. Maybe his meds are working…
“Well, I’m happy for you, Kacey,” Lola said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “And I want the best for you. But I don’t want you to become lost.”
“Lost?”
“When the lights finally go out.”
I bit my lip, trying to find something to say, some retort. My doorbell rang. “I have to go, Lola. The IKEA people are here.”