“That’s why I need you to be the tough one. You need to be the doctor who rips off the Band-Aid eventually,” she says with a rueful smile.
“Take advantage of the MD, why don’t you,” I grumble, jokingly.
But she’s serious. “I don’t want to be Adele. I don’t want to be gone from your life.” Her voice breaks, and this girl—God, she wears her emotions on her sleeve. She lets them out in the open for me to see. She’s fearless and bold, not just in bed, but right here as she lays her heart on the line.
There’s no tiptoeing around this topic. No doorbell ringing in the middle of a tough conversation, truncating it. Nope. We’re not avoiding the issue—we’re diving into the deep end as Josie opens her heart to me even more.
Everything she does makes me want her, in every way.
“That’s why I think this is the only way to do this,” she adds.
I swallow tightly, remembering the emptiness I felt when Adele moved on. I force myself to recall the hurt of losing someone I cared deeply for. Sure, the lonely nights sucked, but what ached more was the absence of a person I relied on. My friend. “I can’t stand the thought of not being friends with you. We can’t let that happen.”
“I don’t want that to happen, either,” she says, her tone so earnest it hooks right into my chest. “But I also don’t want to get fooled again like I did with Damien.”
I give her a hard stare. “I’m not Damien. That guy surpassed acceptable levels of douchery by a million percent.”
“I know, but it still hurt. I learned my lesson with him, and I want us to be completely clear from the get-go about what this can and can’t be. We have to draw lines. We need to promise that whatever this sex thing is, we go back to being friends when we’re done.”
“Fine,” I say, because that’s what I want. To keep her.
“We just have to accept that we have crazy chemistry from living together, right?”
I nod. Maybe I even punctuate it with a wag of my tongue.
She laughs. “And we need to get that out of our system, right?”
I remind myself that compartmentalization is my special skill. I’ve honed it over the years. I’ve made it a goddamn practice. I take care of the body, and others handle the heart and mind. For once, Josie wants me to lean on my top talent—my ability to separate the physical from the emotional. She wants me to take the best possible care of her orgasms then send her on her way with regular friendship check-ups.
This ought to be easy.
This ought to be easy as pie.
“Josie, we are on the same page,” I say, squaring my shoulders and giving her my best show of confidence. She doesn’t need to know I’m stupidly falling for her. I’ll apply the brakes and stop myself from falling further. This thing between us won’t need to be more than a sweet little tryst with my sexy, gorgeous, daring, wild roommate.
All those strange sensations swarming my chest? Done. I’m giving them the boot. Tossing them out with the trash. See you later, falling in love.
Josie breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you feel the same way. I’d be so sad if you were out of my life.”
I laugh and cup her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. I’d never do anything to risk losing you. You’re not just my friend. I hate to break it to Wyatt, but you’re my best friend.”
“You’re mine, too.” She beams. “It’ll be our secret.”
“Like ‘Scotland’s Burning.’”
“Look out, look out,” she sings, and I join in our horrible duet.
When we’re done massacring the song, I hold out a fist for knocking, keeping it all on the level. “We’re roomies with benefits until we get it out of our system.”
She knocks back, and we’re all good now.
Only, I can’t stop. I need to sell this to the judge and jury. I need to be thoroughly convincing so she doesn’t know how close I was to spilling my guts. “And you should totally date,” I add, all nonchalant.
She arches an eyebrow. “I’m not going to date while we’re screwing.”
“But when we’re done,” I add. Like the magnanimous, generous, wonderful friend I am. Who, evidently, likes to state the patently obvious.
“Okay,” she says, hesitantly.
“When we’re out of each other’s systems,” I add, and plaster on a smile, reminding her that we will be over eventually. We are a temporary fling. There’s no point dwelling on how I felt earlier.
There’s no point at all. Not even when we screw again that night on the couch. Not even when she wraps her arms around me and whispers my name. Not even when she tells me how good it is.
Nope. I don’t let any of that affect me.
Not at all.
Not in the least.
I’m steel.
Even when she falls asleep in my arms again, curling up next to me and smelling like her, and like me, and like the best sex I’ve ever known. Because it was more than just sex.
Only . . . it can’t be.
23
From the pages of Josie’s Recipe Book
Josie’s Chocolate Oh-No-You-Didn’t-Do-That Milkshake Recipe
* * *
Ingredients
* * *
Full Package
Lauren Blakely's books
- Night After Night
- burn for me_a fighting fire novella
- After This Night (Seductive Nights #2)
- Burn For Me
- Caught Up in Her (Caught Up In Love 0.50)
- Caught Up in Us (Caught Up In Love #1)
- Every Second with You (No Regrets #2)
- Far Too Tempting
- First Night (Seductive Nights 0.5)
- Night After Night (Seductive Nights #1)
- Playing With Her Heart (Caught Up In Love #4)
- Pretending He's Mine (Caught Up In Love #2)