Frogkisser!

“Gone dormant from the cold,” said Ardent. “Like last time. He’ll recover.”

“I hope so,” said Anya, with a nervous glance over at the hut. She doubted Martha would be pleased to find her son in this condition. Hopefully, the newt would wake up soon, because Anya was going to have to wake up Martha.

“I’m so tired,” she yawned. “But there’s no time to waste sleeping.”

“What about eating?” asked Ardent.

“No time for that either. The Duke could be following us in his bone ship, and I don’t know how fast that can go, or how quickly he might be able to find us here. I have to start making the mixture, and we need to get messengers out to Bert and the dwarves, asking them to come here. And to Tanitha and the dogs, if they can be found. I guess Hedric might know some good ravens. How are the frogs?”

Ardent was nosing the sack. There were subdued croaks coming from inside, which was a positive sign.

“I’d say they’re all still alive. And grumbling.”

“We can let them go into a stream once we get Denholm sorted out.” Anya slowly got up. All her muscles ached from lugging the sack up the chimney steps, and she felt like she hadn’t slept in ages, despite her short nap on the river beach near the inn.

“I’m going to wake Martha,” she continued. “See if you can find Hedric. Where do druids sleep? Up trees?”

“Sacred groves, if they’ve got them,” said Ardent. “But he said he hadn’t. He’s probably got a bed of moss nearby. I’ll look!”

“Be careful,” Anya warned. “Smoothie, could you please keep watch over Shrub and the frogs?”

Smoothie nodded. Anya walked over to the hut and knocked on the door.

“Hello!” she called. “Sorry to disturb you in the middle of the night. It’s Princess Anya, and your son, Shrub!”





There was quite a lot of screaming, crying, and throwing arms up in the air in the next five minutes, all of it done by Martha. She’d emerged from her hut armed with a knife and ladle, ready to see off intruders, but had thrown them aside when she’d spotted Anya and then Shrub.

“Oh, my poor boy!” she exclaimed, gingerly wrapping the newt in her apron and half lifting him up. He was too heavy to lift any further.

Shrub made a noise and winked at her.

“Oh, you’re alive!” exclaimed Martha. “Say hello to your mother!”

Shrub made another strange gargling nose.

“Choked up a bit on soot,” said Ardent, who’d just come back with Hedric, who was wearing a nightgown made of leaves with a bark nightcap that looked highly uncomfortable.

“I need to use your cauldron, Martha,” said Anya. She was already sorting out her ingredients near the fire. “And your stirring stick. It is a lightning-struck branch of an oak, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is! Nothing but the best for my soup,” protested Martha indignantly.

“Witches’ tears, cockatrice feathers, three-day-old hail, blood from a retired druid … I need beeswax. Oh, and messengers!”

“To put in the pot?” asked Martha, bewildered.

“No, we need to send ravens to the dwarves in Dragon Hill to find Bert and as many Responsible Robbers as possible, and also to look for Tanitha and the Royal Dogs. Unless you know where they are, Ardent?”

“Who?” asked Ardent, who’d been distracted by a scent at the base of a nearby tree.

“Tanitha and the dogs,” Anya repeated. “Do you know where they’ve gone?”

“Gone?” asked Ardent absently, still sniffing away.

“Oh, never mind! We’ll need at least a dozen ravens to carry the messages and to search,” said Anya. “Ones that can be trusted, of course, not those in the Duke’s pay. Hedric, do you know any reliable ravens?”

“There is an unkindness of highly responsible ravens by the … not far from here,” said Hedric. “I’ll go to them. Is the message simply ‘Princess Anya asks you to come to Martha’s hut in Trallon Forest’?”

Anya thought for a moment.

“No,” she said. “Ask them to say ‘Anya the Frogkisser requests your aid against Duke Rikard, and asks for all her friends to gather at Martha’s hut.’ ”

She thought again, then added, “Have the ravens tell any Gerald the Heralds they see too, and get them to spread the word.”

“But the Duke will hear!” Ardent protested.

“Yes,” said Anya. “But he would anyway. It’s time we, I don’t know, told the world we’re going to fight him. Raise the standard, that sort of thing, like in the stories. Oh!”

“What?” asked Hedric, who had been about to race off. “Is there more?”

“Yes.” Anya took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, her mind racing. Was she really going to commit to this?

Yes, she thought. I am.

Anya breathed out, drew herself up to her full height, and spoke in a clear, commanding voice.

“After the bit ‘asks all her friends’ add in ‘and friends of the All-Encompassing Bill of Rights and Wrongs.’ ”

“Got it,” said Hedric. “I’ll tell the ravens!”

“So you’ve decided to begin the quest to reestablish the ancient laws!” barked Ardent. “But what will Morven say?”

“Morven will have to get used to it,” Anya replied. Then she grimaced, thinking about how her sister would react to the news that her authority to be as selfish as she wanted was to be severely curtailed. “But I can’t think about that now. I have to eat what’s in front of me, as Tanitha would say. Let’s see, I know I’ve forgotten something … pawpaw!”

She slapped herself on the side of the head.

“I bet there was some in that storeroom too,” she said. “Now we’ll have to use something else for flavor.”

“Pea and ham?” suggested Ardent, with a longing look at Martha’s ladle.

“Not for a lip balm,” said Anya, making a face. She turned to Martha. “Do you have any dried fruits? Apricots, peaches, anything?”

“Got a bag of dried plums,” Martha told her.

“And beeswax, mustn’t forget the beeswax.”

“I’ve got half a dozen beeswax candles. They’re pure and soft.”

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