‘Are you sure? She doesn’t seem like that type.’
‘Ah, it’s the quiet ones you have to watch, Louise. Don’t you know that by now?’ He grinned. ‘You’re pretty quiet, aren’t you?’
I flushed, my mind scrabbling around for a response, but thankfully we were interrupted by the arrival of Matt and Sophie. Sophie flung herself down next to Sam, leaning her head dramatically on his shoulder and declaring herself dying for a drink. Matt looked unhappily at them whilst he poured her another vodka and coke and then sat down next to me opposite them, his eyes on Sophie’s hand, which kept nudging Sam’s arm playfully. None of them seemed inclined to address any remarks to me, entering into an involved conversation about the exact nature of the drugs they had taken at a rave they’d been to recently, from which I was grateful to be excluded.
The kitchen was heady with smoke and I was starting to feel a bit spaced out, unable to follow the conversation even if I’d had anything to add. I muttered something about needing the toilet, and none of the three even looked up as I rose and left the room.
I wandered upstairs, stepping over snogging couples and pairs of girls deep in intense conversation. I had a choice at the top of the stairs. To my left was what I guessed to be the master bedroom. The door was ajar and I could hear a furtive rustling and panting from within. To my right there were several doors to choose from. The first turned out to be the airing cupboard, but the second one I tried was locked, suggesting it was the toilet. I sank down and sat cross-legged on the floor to wait.
As the beat of the music downstairs faded for a second before rising again, I became aware of a noise coming from the toilet. At first I thought it was someone vomiting, but I gradually realised it was crying I could hear. A girl. She was obviously trying to keep the tears in, but it was no good. They were being wrenched out of her like a butcher tearing the innards from a dead animal. Gradually the gasps subsided and I heard the toilet flush. Despite my drunkenness, which was fairly advanced by now, I tried to arrange my face into a suitably nonchalant expression to indicate that I hadn’t heard a thing. However, when the door opened my face dropped, because the girl in the toilet was Maria.
She looked at me with a mixture of shame and defiance.
‘What’s the problem?’ she asked, daring me to mention what I’d heard.
‘Nothing.’ I hesitated. ‘Are you OK though?’
‘Oh, I’m fine, great.’ Her speech was slurred and I realised she was even drunker than I was. ‘Just fucking great. And even better now I’ve seen you.’
I reddened.
‘I’m sorry about that day in the lunch hall. You don’t understand what Sophie’s like. If I get on the wrong side of her, I’m finished. At school, I mean.’
‘Really? Seems like there’s plenty of people at school who get along fine without following her around like a puppy dog.’
‘But Sophie’s my friend,’ I say. ‘One of my oldest friends.’
‘I thought Esther was your oldest friend. Or non-friend now, I should say.’
‘What do you mean? What’s Esther told you?’
‘Never you mind,’ she said, attempting to tap her nose. The effect was somewhat spoiled by the fact that she was so drunk she missed her nose and ended up poking herself in the eye. For a moment she looked as though she was going to start crying again, but the balance tipped the other way and she collapsed in hysterical laughter, sinking down beside me on the floor. As she clutched my arm, laughter started to bubble up inside me and soon I had tears streaming down my face too. Every time the laughter started to die away, she would mime poking herself in the eye and it would start us off again.
Eventually we calmed down, and from inside her jacket she produced a bottle of something similar to the concoction Sophie and I had been drinking earlier, except this one had a purplish tinge. She passed it over and I took a swig, barely even flinching this time.
‘So, what is it really?’ I asked her. ‘I heard you in there.’
‘I saw my dad today,’ she said, fiddling with the gold heart on her necklace. ‘You remember I told you he gave me this… before he left?’
I remembered. The first present he had ever given her.
‘He said he’s not going to be able to see as much of us any more. He’s moving out of London. Got a job up north somewhere.’ She pulled the necklace forward harder. When she relaxed her hold I could see a faint pink line across the back of her neck. She looked as if she was about to say more but then seemed to change her mind. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘Fair enough. What shall we talk about then?’
‘Why you’re such a bitch?’ she suggested, elbowing me to indicate that although she was half-joking, I wasn’t entirely forgiven.
‘I really am sorry. It’s just that Sophie’s been so good to me.’
She looked at me sceptically.
‘She has! Inviting me to stuff, you know. Like here.’
I glanced around nervously. The music pounded relentlessly away, reverberating through the house, and I could hear someone laughing raucously. Was it Sophie? Hopefully she wouldn’t have any reason to come up here and see me talking to Maria.
‘How come you’re here anyway?’ I asked her.
‘Charming!’
‘You know what I mean. I’d never have been invited if it wasn’t for Sophie. Who got you in?’
‘My brother, Tim,’ she admitted. ‘He’s at college with Matt’s older brother. He’s in that room, with some slag.’ She gestured to the master bedroom. The panter.
‘Do you get on with him? Your brother?’
‘Yeah, he’s all right. He looks out for me, you know. Protective.’
I didn’t know, not having any brothers or sisters.
‘Sounds nice,’ I said wistfully.
‘Can be. Bit much sometimes.’
She looked as if she was going to say more, but then the bedroom door creaked and the dark-haired boy that I’d seen on the path outside Maria’s house appeared, pulling on a T-shirt. The top button of his jeans was undone and I couldn’t help looking at the line of dark hair that led downwards. He walked over to us.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked Maria, ignoring me.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, keeping her eyes on the floor. She kept her hair pulled down over her face, using it as a shield to stop Tim from seeing that she’d been crying. ‘Leave me alone. Go back to your lady friend.’
‘Are you sure you’re OK?’ he asked, eyeballing me with suspicion. ‘Isn’t this that girl who —’
‘I’m fine, Tim,’ Maria repeated, jumping to her feet. I scrambled up, not wanting to be left alone with him. ‘We’re going outside to get some air. See you later.’
‘Don’t leave without telling me, OK?’ he called after us. Maria threw up her hand in a gesture that fell somewhere between waving and giving him the finger.