“No. But it meant a lot to me.” They said nothing for several moments. Then, shaking off the melancholy that had settled over him, he said, “Anyway, I can’t imagine Chet Barker having an enemy in the world. I think he just got in the way.”
“Of me,” she said in a quiet voice. “You think I was the target, don’t you?”
Her doleful expression implored him for an honest answer, but he let his silence speak for him, and the logical conclusion noticeably upset her. She turned her head aside and pulled her lower lip through her teeth in obvious distress.
“Look,” he said, “it’s all conjecture at this point. Even if you were his target, for whatever twisted reason, he can’t hurt you now.”
“All the same, I would like to know what I did, or didn’t do, that made him want to kill me. What did I do to provoke payback that extreme?”
“Could be you had nothing to do with it.”
“You just said you thought I was the target.”
“No I didn’t. You did. But maybe Rodriguez, or whatever his name was, wasn’t motivated by you, the court, or anything that we can put a label on. Maybe he was just a head case whose hobby was killing small animals. It was only a matter of time before he graduated to human beings, and the courthouse made for good theater.”
“Especially the final act.”
“Especially the final act. He got the attention he sought. Which is why local politicians, the media, and the public will be asking questions, and the police will be scrambling to provide satisfactory answers. They’ll have to justify taking him out the way they did.”
“Was it justified?”
“I had identified myself as a law officer and ordered him to put down the weapon. He not only refused, he fired two shots at a uniformed officer, and he probably would have gone on firing if those SWAT officers hadn’t stopped him. No, judge, it went down the way it had to. It’s just…”
He thought back on those fateful moments. although measured in time by mere seconds, it had been a history-changing, life-ending event. He’d been there. He’d witnessed the whole thing. Yet he still didn’t understand why that young man had placed himself in such a near-perfect situation to get killed.
His consternation must have been apparent, because the judge’s expression invited him to share what was on his mind, and before he knew he was going to, he did. “I wish I could have had a few more seconds with him, you know? Maybe I could have talked him into putting down the pistol. Or I could have convinced the deputy to back away and let me handle it. Or—”
“Or you could have been killed.”
That statement snapped him back into the present, and to her, and to the reason he’d come here in the first place. “Right. I could have been killed. Which makes me sorry I went after him in the first place. But I did. And because I did, I’m in the big thick middle of it, and I don’t want to be. I’ve been through a mess like this once before.” He paused for emphasis. “As you well know.”
She looked down at the floor. “It’s an unfortunate circumstance for you, and I’m sorry over it.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’re all torn up.”
Hearing in his tone that he meant just the opposite, she raised her head and looked at him. “Why do you doubt it?”
“Because my being gung-ho today gives you the perfect out.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Sure you do.” He advanced on her a step. “If you had to rule on my petition right now, this second, would you award me custody of Georgia?”
She parted her lips to speak, but nothing came out.
“That’s what I thought,” he said with a snicker. “After today, you can deny me custody of my little girl and walk away with a clear conscience.”
His conclusion angered her. “After this,” she said, passing her hand back and forth between the two of them, “I won’t even be deciding your case. I’ll have to recuse myself and give it over to another judge.”
“Even better. You can wash your hands of the whole thing.” He made a show of dusting his hands. “While I will have to start all over with a new judge. More therapy, probably. More bullshit, definitely. And more time without Georgia.”
“Which is no fault of mine,” she said, raising her voice to match the level of his. “You were the one who dictated all that inconvenience to yourself when you showed up at my back door.”
She was right, of course, but he’d be damned before conceding. “Okay, since you’re out of it, you can tell me what your decision would have been.”
“I told you before—”
“That you don’t know.”
“That’s right.”
“Like hell you don’t. While you were flipping through my ‘file,’ pretending to ponder your decision, you already knew what you were going to say. Right? Right?”
“I don’t know what my decision would have been, and how dare you come here demanding to know.”
“I’m demanding it because I’ve been put on notice by my father-in-law.”