The dinner proceeded. Sean noticed that Annie had angled her body in his direction. Malcolm was eating silently, his wet cheeks shining like the buttery artichoke he held in his hand. One by one the artichokes were taken from the platter, one by one stripped of their leaves. Sean kept handing Annie bits of food, caressing her with simple specific considerations: “One more?… some butter?… water?” Between mouthfuls he leveled his face in her direction, filling the air between them with the warm odor of what he had eaten.
He was thinking of their upcoming tryst. The plan he had arranged with her was this: after dinner he would suggest backgammon; she would immediately agree and together they would go downstairs to the game room; they would play until the others went to sleep and then go up to view the relic alone.
But just then Malcolm said: “Ladies, take a look at these two old men who sit before you. We’re dear old friends, Sean and I. At Oxford we were inseparable.”
Sean looked up to see Malcolm smiling warmly at him across the table. His eyes were still watering. He looked vulnerable and idiotic. But Malcolm went on: “I pray that your friendship, young as it is, survives so long.” He was looking at the girls now, from one to the other. “Old friends,” he murmured, “they’re the best.”
*
“Would anyone care to retire to the game room for some backgammon?” Sean asked aloud to the table, but especially, Annie knew, to her. She was just about to say yes when out of the corner of her eye she caught Maria looking at her. Annie knew that Maria was waiting for her reply. If she said yes, Maria would also say yes. Suddenly she knew the plan wouldn’t work, Maria would never go up to sleep by herself. And so Annie spread her hands on the table, looked at her nails, and asked, “Maria, what do you feel like?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Maria said.
“We can’t all play,” said Sean. “Only two of us, I’m afraid.”
“Backgammon sounds lovely,” said Malcolm. Annie shifted in her seat. She had hesitated too long. She had ruined everything.
“We have to be up early, anyway,” said Maria.
“Well, we’ll excuse you two travelers then,” said Malcolm. “With profound regret.”
“Perhaps it is getting a little late,” said Sean.
“Nonsense!” said Malcolm. “The night’s just beginning!” And with that he slid his chair from the table and stood resolutely up.
*
There was nothing Sean could do. He had no idea why Annie had deviated from their plan. He suspected he had been too forward during dinner, had given away his true motives, and scared her off. Whatever the reason, now there was nothing for him to do but stand up, disown the signals from his heart (registering despair) by smiling, and head for the basement door. As he descended the stairs with Malcolm behind him he tried unsuccessfully to hear what the girls were saying in the kitchen.
The game room was a long, narrow wainscotted room, with a billiard table in the middle and, at one end, a leather sofa facing a television set. Sean went immediately to the television and turned it on.
“What about backgammon?” Malcolm asked.
“I’ve lost the mood,” said Sean.
Malcolm looked at him uncertainly. “I hope you didn’t mind my little oration,” he said. “I’m afraid I monopolized the conversation.”
Sean kept his eyes on the television. “I hardly noticed,” he said.
*
“Sean likes you,” Maria told Annie once they were alone.
“He does not.”
“He does. I can tell.”
“He’s just being nice.”
They were drying the last few dishes, standing elbow to elbow at the sink. “What did he say to you in the garden?”
“When?”
“In the garden. When he took you into the back.”
“He told me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and then he proposed marriage.”
Maria was rinsing a plate. She held it under the water and said nothing.
“I’m kidding,” said Annie. “He just talked about the soil, how hard it is to grow things here.”
Maria started to scrub the plate, even though it was perfectly clean.
“I’m just kidding,” Annie said again.
*
Annie wanted to take as long as possible washing the dishes. If Sean came back she could give him a sign to meet her later. But the plates were not very dirty, and there were only four of them, along with some glasses. Soon everything was done. “I’m exhausted,” Maria said. “Aren’t you exhausted?”
“No.”
“You look exhausted.”
“I’m not.”
“What should we do now?”
Annie could think of no reason for staying in the kitchen. She could go downstairs but Malcolm would be there. He would be everywhere, all night. He would never go to sleep again, he was so happy to be alive. So at last she said, “There’s nothing to do. I guess I’ll go to bed.”
“I’ll go up with you,” Maria said.
*
“Let’s not watch television, Sean,” said Malcolm. “We haven’t had a chance to talk all night. We haven’t talked for twenty years!”
“I haven’t watched television for two weeks,” said Sean.
Malcolm laughed, agreeably. “Sean,” he said, “it’s no use. You can’t hide from me. Especially tonight.” He waited for a response but received none. He felt monumentally calm. He could say whatever he had to say, without embarrassment, and he peered at his friend, wondering why Sean, on the contrary, was so withdrawn. But in the next moment it came to him. Sean’s imperviousness was much too perfect. It was a sham. Inside his shell Sean was lonely too, and grieved for his failed marriage as Malcolm himself did. That was the reason he surrounded himself with jokes and the young women.
Malcolm was surprised he hadn’t realized this before. His sight now in every way was sharper. He looked at his friend and felt great sympathy for him. And then he said: “Tell me about Meg, Sean. There’s no reason to be ashamed. I’m in the same boat, you know.”
This time Sean did turn and meet his gaze. His manner was still stiff, it was difficult for him, but at last he began: “Not the same boat, Malcolm. Not at all. I left Meg. Meg didn’t leave me.”
Malcolm looked away, down at the floor.
“And she took it badly, I’m afraid,” Sean continued. “She stepped in front of a train.”
“She tried to kill herself?” Malcolm asked. “Oh, my God!”
“Didn’t just try. Succeeded.”
“Meg’s dead?”
“Yes, she is. That’s why the garden is in such a state.”
“Sean, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something?”
“I haven’t been able to talk about it,” Sean said.
*
This revenge pleased Sean. Malcolm had spoiled his evening but now Sean had control over him, could make him believe whatever he liked. Malcolm laid his head back against the sofa and Sean said, “Quite a coincidence, your showing up here tonight. And telling that story. Almost as if something sent you here.”
“I had no idea,” Malcolm said softly. Sean continued to stare at his friend, filled with the power of being able to create a world for Malcolm to live in, where nothing happened by chance and where even suicides harmonized.
He left Malcolm sitting on the couch and made his way toward the stairs.
*
When Maria went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, Annie tiptoed to the bedroom doorway. She heard nothing. The house was quiet. All she could hear was Maria swirling water in her mouth and spitting it into the sink. She stepped into the hall. Again she heard nothing. Then Maria came out of the bathroom. She had her glasses off and was squinting at the bed.