Hunched over the kitchen sink, the lines in her face looked more prominent than normal. Her hands gripped the end of the counter with such intensity that her knuckles had turned white.
“Why don’t you go lie down?” I suggested gently. “I could put on music for you and turn it down low.”
“That won’t help, Mara!” Mom shouted. “Nothing will make this damn headache go away, so why don’t you just go run along and do whatever the hell it was that you were doing before I came back and ruined your night?”
“Mom.” I sighed.
My mother was an animated and passionate person, but she didn’t usually yell at me like this. The readings did this to her, draining her energy, hurting her mind. Not all the time, but more and more, nights were ending like this.
“I was just making food outside. Did you want me to get anything for you?” I asked.
“I already told you no!”
A half-empty glass of water was sitting on the counter next to her, and she grabbed it and suddenly hurled it at me. I ducked out of the way just in time, and it smashed into the wall behind me.
“Mom!” I yelled. “You can’t just throw a glass at me!”
“I don’t know, Mara!” She waved her hands wildly as she spoke, and her eyes were frantic. “What can I do? I can’t do anything! And I don’t even know where Blossom is! I can’t help anyone!”
“I know you’re hurting, but this isn’t helping,” I told her as calmly and reasonably as I could. “You need to find a better way of coping. You can’t keep acting like this every time you have a bad night.”
The door creaked open behind me, and Gideon leaned in. “Is everything okay in here?”
“Everything’s great! Nothing’s fine!” Mom shouted, and then laughed, as if to punctuate her schizophrenic statement.
I could only turn back and look at him. I didn’t say anything to Gideon—not just because my mom was right there, but because if I tried to speak, I’d cry. Helplessly, I shook my head and pressed my lips together to keep the tears from spilling over.
“Go on, love,” Gideon said softly, his British accent warming his words. “I’ll calm her down.”
“Where are all my tapes, Mara?” Mom demanded.
A stack of cassette tapes had been sitting on the counter. They’d fallen out of cupboards yesterday when we’d been driving into Caudry, and I just hadn’t put them all back yet. But now, in a fit of rage, Mom swung her arm out, knocking them all to the floor.
“Lyanka.” Gideon pushed past me and walked toward her. “You need to stop.”
“No. Why do you all think you can tell me what to do? Did Blossom hide all my tapes?” Mom asked him, her voice trembling.
“This isn’t about her.” He rubbed the back of his neck, then he turned back to me. “Why don’t you find somewhere else to sleep, all right? I’ll take care of her, but it might be a long night.”
I nodded, then rushed out the door just as my mother began swearing at him. She continued shouting for a while after I left, and it traveled through the thin walls of the motorhome. But eventually Gideon put on music, and that either drowned out the sound of her yelling or calmed her.
People started arriving back at the campsite shortly after that, and we all ate together around picnic tables underneath a couple strings of white Christmas lights. When we finished, I opted to head over to the trailer that Luka, Seth, and Hutch shared, and Roxie decided to tag along.
There were other places I could’ve hung out if I wanted to, but Luka, Seth, and Hutch had the nicest one. It was a 1986 Winnebago Minnie Winnie 24RC, and they’d paid almost thirty grand for it last summer. Considering the sideshow was going broke, that was an exorbitant amount of money.
Luka and Seth had made all the money on their own, though. Between shows, they’d go out to bars and trick drunk guys into betting that they couldn’t do something. Seth was supernaturally strong, and Luka could heal from anything, so he’d swallow glass or pound nails into his hand. It still hurt like hell, but for the right price, it’d been worth it.
They’d made most of their money before Hutch had stumbled upon us. He’d run away from a rough home life with his entire life savings in his pocket, which amounted to a couple grand. It was that final contribution that put them over the edge, so Luka and Seth had let him live with them.
He’d still added the smallest share, so he had the bunk above the cab, while Luka and Seth claimed the bunk beds in the back. It was a chic trailer, and the boys had it decked out with the latest amenities, like a TV and VCR and a tape deck with speakers built in throughout the trailer. Not to mention a top-of-the-line AC and heater, so we all spent a great deal of time hanging out in their camper.
When we went into Luka’s camper, I slid into the dinette bench next to Roxie. Luka went over to the fridge to get out a couple bottles of beer, and Hutch pulled out the deck of cards before sitting down across from us.