Fragile Innocence

I’d come home late from school. He was in the kitchen. When he spun around not realizing I was there, we slammed into each other by accident and I knocked the cup of coffee he’d been holding. The whole mug splattered across his shirt and my face.

He was so angry, he’d taken it out on me that night. He was particularly rough. His big, rough hand choked me while his cock was forced inside my dry body. He was unrelenting. I was about to reach the point of suffocation when he let me go, letting me breathe in much needed air.

He laughed. Told me I was a good girl for taking it.

“Tell me you fu*king remember.” The words he spews has spittle flying onto my back, then more heat. The scent of a candle filters through the air and I realize it’s hot wax.

As soon as I calm myself from the realization, pain jolts me back to the alert scared little girl as he pours the hot wax over my puckered hole. The sensitive area burns and tears form in my eyes.

“fu*king little whore. You loved it, didn’t you? Did you think you can run from me?” The wax cools on my skin, leaving it tight and puckered. His fingers work my tight ring of muscle and I can’t stop myself from tensing. I’ve only ever been with Bennett and Carter. No other man has ever been in there, except for Charles taking what was never his to have.

I’ve never trusted anyone to come near me. This man had ruined me until the two men I love saved me. My avenging dark angels. Closing my eyes, I picture them. Those devilish smirks, gentle and commanding touches. Love. Affection.

I love them. I didn’t think I was capable of that emotion. My past hasn’t afforded me the luxury most women have. To trust a man. To really feel a man. But they’ve given me that and so much more.

They healed me.

They made me whole.

Both men helped me see myself as a woman. And now, as I sit here chained, I realize that for the first time in my life, I’m in love. Not with one man, but with both.

There’s nothing that can prepare you for when your life is about to end. As I lie here, I wonder why I didn’t just end my life years ago. It would’ve been so easy to let go and allow death to steal me.

But I thought I was strong. I believed it. Even though I broke each time he came near me, I still held onto the fact that I survived each nightmare. When I was a broken, abused teenager, I could have done it. Taken a razor and sliced my wrists. The pretty red blood mixing with my bath water. I imagined it. So many times over those years I wondered why I even endured it.

I was the silly little girl, the one too scared to fight him. The one too scared to scream, shout, or cry. But now that I’m chained up like an animal I realize I got my chance. I should have done something then.

The blindfold is ripped away from my eyes and I stare into the gray eyes of the monster from my nightmares. “Such a pretty little girl,” he utters in a low, gravelly tone. The whisky on his breath is harsh to my nostrils, causing my body to convulse. “You have been on my mind for a long time. I watched you. Seen how beautiful you are. And of course, when I told your boss to send you to London, I knew my nephew would find you utterly alluring.” A sinister smirk forms on his face, making him scarier than I remember. He planned this.

“What do you mean?”

“You are working for Ainsworth International. It was my divine plan, Snowflake. And I knew my nephew and his best friend would lay claim to your pretty little ass.”

Realization dawns on me that I sent Carter away for the wrong reasons. I believed he was trying to hurt me when all the while, he had no idea. I was stupid. Every part of my body hurts. There isn’t anything I can do but hang from the chains above my head. My gaze flits around, taking in the large empty room we’re in. It’s dark, the only light coming from a small window near the ceiling.

It’s cold and I can’t stop shivering. As if it’s seeped into my sinew and bone. I’ll never be warm again.

“Did you think you could hide from me? I knew I’d find you fu*king my nephew. He’s always been known for sticking his dick in anything with tits.” His chuckle is slightly demented, which sets me on edge. He’s drunk, angry, and he’s going to hurt me.

He takes two steps toward me, till his body is flush with mine. The stench of his breath has my stomach rolling and I taste the acidic bile in my throat.

“Just let me go. You don’t have to do this.”

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, Snowflake. I need to do this. I’m about to make sure that not even my nephew wants you.” His words tighten the ache in my chest and I realize it’s my heart breaking, bit by bit. Not having Carter or Bennett in my life would shatter me. In this short time, I felt connected to them on so many levels. Maybe it’s because they healed me. Made me realize I’m a beautiful woman.

“There isn’t anything you can do that will make him hate me.” Fire flares in my gut as rage takes over and I spit the words at him. I’m not giving up so easily. He’ll have to kill me before he breaks me.

“Well, I think there is. You see, I’ve been watching you. Keeping close tabs on your coming and going. And I know for a fact you’re ready for me to finally take what’s mine.”

“What?”

“I know you’ve been seeing a doctor to get your injection. However, my little Snowflake, you’re no longer protected. You’re primed to be taken and given a little…” He pats my stomach, gently. “Bun in the oven. Aren’t you?”

His words send me barreling into darkness. I realize he’s right. I should have gone this week for my shot. But since the move, I haven’t had a moment to find a doctor yet. My arms strain as I fight to pull them free, only hurting myself in the process.

“No. You’re wrong.” My words are weaker than I wanted them to be, and he knows it.

“Like fu*k I am.” His hand rises and I feel the sting of the thick gold ring on my cheek. Blood spurts from my mouth.

I am strong. I am strong. I am strong.

I refuse to cry.

I steel myself, hiding inside my mind. My safe place. But it’s changed and morphed. It’s become something new and different. Something I recognize as emotion. As feeling. I see it for what it is. Love. The love of Bennett and Carter. Their touches, their kisses, their love.

“Look at me, bitch!”

My eyes open, but I’m cold. Closed off. There’s nothing there anymore. No feeling or emotion. I’ll never give this man anything again. His hand reaches up and grips my neck, tightening, choking me.

“You’ll remember my face until you die. One day, when you’re on your death bed, you’ll close those pretty eyes and you’ll remember my fu*king face.” His hate fueled words don’t hurt me anymore because I know I’m no longer under his control. It’s over.

“No, I won’t. You know why? Because you’re a sick fu*k who’ll never control me again. I’ll never succumb to you, ever again,” I spit in his face and I welcome death. I welcome the end because if this is the way I have to go then so be it.

I’m not a whore. I’m not broken. I’m a fu*king woman.

Dani René's books