“Yes.”
“Carter, you said she saw our uncle’s name and freaked out. She knew him?” She’s utterly confused now as the pieces slot into place. I’d be confused by her reaction if it wasn’t for what Bennett told me. But I know what the fu*ker did to my sister, and I’ll ensure he pays for that as well. With more than just his life. I want to torture him until he’s nothing but a whimpering fu*king mess on the floor.
I meet her enquiring gaze. “She did know him. He was her stepfather for most of the years she was growing up.”
My sister sits back and sighs. “So he’s back?” Her face is filled with fear and I cock my head to the side as I nod. “fu*k, I was hoping he wouldn’t return.”
My gaze narrows as I stare at my sister.
“Tell me, Kat.” This time I lean my elbows on the desk.
“I just…” She shrugs, but her brows are creased and I can’t help staring at her. I want her to admit it. Perhaps it will help her with admitting it. And I want to know my sister will tell me anything. Trust is something we’ve always had between us, and it hurt that she didn’t tell me about what happened to her, but I also believe it couldn’t have been easy for her.
“Kat, what’s wrong? Why wouldn’t you want to see him?”
Her face scrunches and I can see pain in her expression. My sister never cries. She’s like me, tough as nails, but now as she hunches over I see the little girl from my childhood. A little girl crying on my mother’s lap and something inside me snaps.
“Katherine Hamilton, what the fu*k happened?” I’m on my knees in front of her, holding her hands as they shake uncontrollably.
“Carter, you were never meant to hear this,” she mumbles as she blinks the tears away.
I lean in. My eyes meet hers and I implore her with a gaze to tell me what she’s talking about.
“I asked Mom to keep it from you because I know you would’ve done something stupid.”
“Kat, if you don’t tell me I swear to God I’ll fu*king lose my shit.”
“I was raped.” The words fall from her mouth, and it feels as if my world is crashing down around me. Hearing her actually say it is more painful than I ever thought it would be. But I’m her brother and I want to hold her, to cocoon her from the pain.
“Kat, I’m so fu*king sorry I wasn’t there to help you.” My voice is hoarse with emotion. My whole life has gone by and I didn’t know my sister was violated. How the fu*k did I not know?
“Carter, it happened. I put it behind me. Please just leave it.”
“It was Charles. Wasn’t it?” My tone causes her to wince and I immediately feel like an arsehole. She’s scared and I’m not really helping.
She nods, meeting my eyes with agony clear in her pretty amber eyes.
fu*k. “I’m sorry, I just… I mean… How did you not tell me?”
“I just couldn’t. You wouldn’t understand, brother. I love you so much. I didn’t want you to look at me with pity.” Her eyes meet mine and I stare at her. I could never pity her, but I pity the fu*ker when I find him. I’ll fu*k him up so badly he won’t even recognize his own face.
My body is vibrating with rage, my blood is boiling, and I need to get air. “I failed you, Kat. I mean, I should have known. I should have been there for you.”
“He was drunk and… I mean… but you, Carter, you were there for me. You loved me.”
“I do love you.” Pulling her up, I embrace her, feeling her body shake with emotion. My sweet little sister. If only I’d known. “I love you, Kat.” This is too much. Two women I love hurt and I couldn’t stop it.
Of course, I didn’t know Ella at the time, but I can make it right now.
Katherine pulls away and peers at me. “Go to your girl. Beg her to talk to you because she will. You’re a good man, Carter Hamilton.” She offers a shy smile and leaves me still reeling from the news.
I pull out my phone, hit dial on his number, and wait. When I reach voicemail, I slam the phone on the desk. This is fu*king ridiculous.
Bennett still hasn’t sent the address. My body is coiled so tight I’m sure it’s about to snap.
Ella
As soon as I slammed the door on Carter, I cried. I allowed myself to mourn the lies, the pain, and the slicing agony that seemed to want to consume me. Then I got up, showered, and started packing. The suitcase that sits beside me on the sofa taunts me.
I promised myself I wouldn’t go back to New York, that I wouldn’t walk backward in life, instead look forward, but this has ripped me to pieces.
Silence settles over the apartment. It’s never a good sign. For me, the quiet always reminds me. Reaching for the remote, I turn on the television, hoping the noise will calm me down. I know it won’t, it’s never helped, but I don’t have another choice. My fear of having to come face-to-face with the man who hurt me is something I can never become accustomed to.
Bennett and Carter gave me something I can never repay. They showed me the pleasure I had inside me and I can’t even begin to describe how much it hurts to walk away from this new life I thought I’ve found. But when I saw the image on Carter’s phone I knew I’d never escape.
Closing my eyes, I recall the pleasure so intense it felt like I was plugged into an electric chair. Every nerve in my body came alive under their touch. I never thought it was possible for me to feel, or care, or love. Carter broke down every wall I built and he gave me the courage to find the one thing I thought I’d lost. My soul.
Curling up with a cup of tea, I take a long sip. The warmth seeps through my body. I haven’t answered Bennett’s calls, but he hasn’t given up. I ended up turning my phone off just to have some quiet time.
It’s been two days of ignoring Carter Hamilton and trust me, that’s a difficult feat. There’s no doubt Carter would have made up some story about why my tormentor was calling him.
The last name may have been different, but it was indeed him.
Closing my eyes, my mind plays the scene from that night over and over again. The call, the card. Everything made me sick to my stomach. The thought of him finding me. Shaking my head, I push up from the sofa and head back to my kitchen. Before I can fill the tea kettle the buzzer makes me jump.
It’s not my intercom. It’s the doorbell. Staring at the door as if it’s about to attack me, my body on alert, I step toward the phone and before I can move I hear a voice I never expected.
“Ella, open the door. I know you’re in there.” Bennett Ainsworth, my boss, is at my door. fu*k. “Ella, I’m not leaving this time, so you better answer this damn door.”
Shuffling toward it, I unlock the latch and pull the door open, peering up into forest green eyes I could easily get lost in. And I want to. I want to lose myself in them again just for one more night of no pain.
“Mr. Ainsworth, I’m not—”
“I know. May I come in?”