“Anything you want to say is fine,” he said.
“Oh, okay.” Ben breathed in sharply. “I love you. I feel like I loved you from the moment I saw you in that pizza place, but I know that doesn’t make sense. I can’t live my life without you anymore. You are everything I have ever wanted in another person. You are my best friend, my lover, my partner. And I promise that I will spend the rest of my life taking care of you, the way you deserve to be taken care of. My whole life I was never looking for something bigger than myself, and then I met you and I want to dedicate every day of my life to you. You are it for me. You are why I am here. Without you, I am nothing. So thank you, Elsie, for being who you are, and for spending your life with me.”
Tears were forming in my eyes, my throat felt like I’d swallowed a brick.
“Elsie?” Dave prompted me.
“I love you,” I said and broke down. I couldn’t make out words in between my blubbering. As I looked at Ben, I saw he was crying too. “I just love you so much,” I said. “I never knew what it was like to love someone so much and to be loved so well,” I said. “For the rest of time, I will be by your side, Ben. I will dedicate my life to you.”
Ben grabbed me and kissed me. He pulled us together so tight, there was no room to breathe. I kissed him back until I felt an arm between us.
“Not yet, son,” Dave said, pulling us apart and laughing. “We still have a small formality to take care of.”
“Oh,” Ben said, smiling at me. “Right.”
Dave smiled and turned to him. “Ben, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do,” he said, looking directly at me.
“And do you, Elsie, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do,” I said and nodded, smiling widely.
“Then by the power vested in me by the State of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
It was dead quiet for a minute as we were both frozen. Ben looked at Dave expectantly.
“Now, son!” Dave said. “Now’s your chance. Kiss the bride. Give her everything you’ve got.”
Ben grabbed me and spun me. He kissed me hard on the lips. It felt so good, a kiss like that. It just felt so good.
Dave chuckled to himself and started to walk away. “I’ll let you kids calm down,” he said and, before he made it through the door, “You know, I marry a lot of people, but I have a feeling about you two.”
Ben and I looked at each other and smiled. “Do you think he says that to everyone?” Ben asked.
“Probably,” I said, and I threw myself onto his body. “Are you ready to go to eat wings?”
“In a minute,” he said, running his hands through my hair and then pulling me closer. “I want to spend a few seconds looking at my wife.”
NOVEMBER
I pick up the check and I get in the car. I go to Citibank and cash it. I have a purpose and an energy I’ve lacked for some time, but I know what I want to do and I know I can do it.
The bank teller cashes the check somewhat hesitantly. She has no reason not to cash it, but I imagine she doesn’t often have a twenty-six-year-old woman come in and cash a fourteen-thousand-dollar check. I ask for it in hundreds.
It won’t fit in my wallet, so I have to take it in a few money envelopes. I get in my car and I drive to the biggest bookstore I can find. I walk into the store feeling like my purse is on fire, and my mind is reeling. I am wandering in circles before an employee asks if she can help. I ask her how to find the young adult section, and the young woman leads me to it. She splays her hand out to show me the shelves—stacks and stacks of books, brightly colored with titles in large display print.
“I’ll take it,” I say.
“What?” she says back to me.
“Can you help me get it to the register?”