“I’d like to see Ben’s room,” I told him. I was very curious about it, and maybe it was standing up to my father earlier that had emboldened me to trespass on his grandmother’s property, but maybe there was something more, too. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I had such an urge to see Ben’s room for myself. It felt a little weird.
Cole worked the latch with his pocketknife and opened the door, letting me go in first. I handed off the yearbooks to him and walked inside to take it all in.
I COULD HARDLY TAKE IN what Jamie had just said. But there was the note in my hand, with my name written across it in Ben’s blocky lettering. I tore at the note to unfold it, and scanned it in the dim light.
Reading what he said to me, how he tried to justify it all…my heart felt like it was exploding in agony. My world shattered apart like a thousand shards of glass.
“No!” I cried. “No, Spence, noooooooooooo!”
A moment later, I was running away from Jamie as fast as I could. I had to get to Spence. I had to convince him not to leave me. I had to convince him that we belonged together. And if I couldn’t convince him, then I’d make sure we died together.
COLE CAME UP NEXT TO ME AND, together, we looked around. The room was a surprise. It was sparse, but also soothing and so familiar in that same way that other things had been familiar. The same way Cole had seemed familiar the first time I met him. And Fredericksburg itself had seemed familiar. As well as Gina. And Bailey.
A light-headed feeling was slowly taking over, and an odd pressure formed inside my skull. In an instant I knew that Amber was exerting herself, sharing the space in my mind, overpowering my own memories with hers.
“Cole,” I whispered, feeling my conscious thoughts being pushed backward to make room for Amber.
“Hey,” he said, looking at me with concern. “Are you having another panic attack?”
I shook my head vigorously, as much to clear it as to let him know this was something else entirely. I’d been in this room before. I’d been naked in that bed, wrapped in strong arms and making love to my soul mate. I’d loved him so much. He’d been my whole world.
I pushed away the thought and tried to focus on Cole. On me. On Lily Greeley. No, wait, that was wrong. Amber Bennett.
I put my hands up to the sides of my head. Why couldn’t I get my name right?
“Lily?” Cole said again, and I felt his hand on my arm. I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip.
Why, Amber? I asked. Why are you doing this?
“Hey,” Cole said. “Come on over here and sit down before you pass out.”
I felt him guide me to the bed and sit me down, but my eyes were closed and I tripped a little on the rug. I plopped down indelicately and that helped to jar me back into myself.
“Can I have some water?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. I heard his footsteps hurry away. Taking a few deep breaths I focused on my name. Lily Bennett. Lily Bennett. Lily Greeley.
“Dammit!” I muttered, and opened my eyes to glare at the floor. “Get out of my head, Amber!” I whispered.
But she wasn’t letting up. And then, I noticed something odd on the floor. The rug was now askew and there was something weird about the floorboards underneath. Amber bulleted into my thoughts again like a battering ram, and I sank off the bed to my knees with the force of it. Her attack on my psyche was so forceful that it stole my breath, but then it receded and I hovered there on all fours panting. I stared at the floor again and saw that I’d slid even more of the rug aside.
Next to my hand was a very small latch. “Here,” I heard from above me. Cole had come back with the water.
I ignored him and instead pushed the rug farther out of the way, then sat back on my knees, pointing to the latch. “Look,” I whispered.
“Whoa,” he said, squatting down next to me. “What the hell?”
Again Amber battered at my thoughts and my mind flashed with a memory of a window open in this very room, the rug pulled to the side, the trapdoor open and Spence frantically digging into the well, searching for something he’d never get back.
“Lily?” Cole said. I was breathing hard again trying to fight Amber off.
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I reached for the trapdoor and pulled it up. And there, in the light of the room, I could see something familiar. Lifting it up, I handed it to Cole.
“Holy shit!” he said. “It’s the murder file!”
I looked back inside the well. There were three pieces of paper there. One of them was splattered with small droplets of dried blood. I took that one out first and opened it carefully.
I read the words out loud to Cole.
Dear Amber,
I know what I’m about to do won’t make sense to you, and you might hate me and never forgive me for it, but it’s the only way I can make sure you follow your dreams while I keep my promise to take care of Mom and Stacey.