“Well, someone has to hump the barrels around.” I grinned at her. “But yeah, it would help, if you’re serious. Anyway, I was also calling about the Peter Project.”
“Riiiiiiight. Well, Peter and his descendants are munching happily on the vine, turning it into more bunnies as quickly as they can. Farmers are happy, bunnies are happy, raptors are happy—not surprisingly, they like bunny as well. Pretty much a win-win for everyone except the vine.”
“Great.” I nodded, then popped up a picture on the video screen. “In other news, I’ve come up with a small drone that’s optimized for hunting the adult parasite. You said you didn’t think killing it would be too disruptive, right?”
“Correct, O electronic one. It’s an apex predator, really. There may be a population explosion in whatever it normally uses as hosts, but my guess is that there are normal-sized predators who will take care of that.”
“Mm, good. I’ll be adding them to the central surveillance system. I’ll need an estimate from you of how many we should have active at any time.”
Bridget nodded without comment. She was eyeing the paint thinner, twirling the glass in her hand. Hopefully, she was considering another shot and not fearing for her health. I asked her, “What does kaheerakah mean?”
“Ca?aoireaca. It’s Irish for chairs.”
“Chairs? You toast furniture in Ireland?”
Bridget laughed. “There’s a story. Probably apocryphal…”
I made a rolling motion with my hand.
“Okay, but remember, you asked.”
She settled herself and poured another glass of paint thinner. “There was this Brit who decided to stop at Hotel Rosslare in County Wexford. He had a few, then a few more, then he decided to be friendly. So he asked the barmaid how you say ‘cheers’ in Irish.”
Bridget smiled wickedly. “And you know how the Brits massacre the English language, so she thought he said ‘chairs’, and she told him. Whereupon he bought a round for the house, turned to the other patrons, raised his glass, and said Ca?aoireaca.”
I chuckled. Bridget gave me the stink-eye. “Hey, down in front. Anyway, the other patrons looked at each other in confusion, then raised their glasses and drank. Afterwards, Paddy turned to Sean and said, ‘What the blazes was that?’ Sean shrugged and answered, ‘Damned if I know, but as long as he keeps buying, he can toast the livestock for all of me.’”
I laughed. “I know some Irish jokes.”
“Don’t you dare.” She grinned at me, and I had a sudden feeling of regret at no longer being human.
*
“Stéphane, this is Bridget. Bridget, Stéphane.”
Stéphane held out his hand, and Bridget shook it. They both turned to look at me. Well, at the drone I was watching from. The new model was slightly bigger than a softball, so could go indoors. I was told my voice sounded a little tinny, but I could survive that.
I lowered myself to conversation height, and they sat. I’d texted our order to the waiter, so beers arrived immediately.
“So, is there an occasion for this?” Bridget looked back and forth between me and Stéphane.
“Not really. I mean, I’m not planning a takeover of the colony or anything. God, why would I want to?” I chuckled. One of Stéphane’s eyes twitched, so I guess a tinny chuckle didn’t come across well.
“Anyway, between the brontos and other dinos, the raptors, vine, Cupid bug, and everything else that makes this such a fun place to live, I spend most of my time coordinating with the two of you. The committee seems determined to funnel all information through themselves, and sometimes I just want to slap them.”
“So you are creating unofficial channels, here?” A slow grin spread across Stéphane’s face.
“Something like that. You know, just to speed things along.”
Stéphane looked at Bridget. “You are responsible for the rabbits? Nice choice. I’ve had rabbit stew several times this month.”
Bridget laughed and turned to me. “Told you.”
She flipped open her tablet and set it up on a corner of the table, then looked at the drone and inclined her head towards the tablet. I took the hint, floated the drone up to the ceiling, and transferred my image to the tablet. “This better?”
Both of my friends grinned at the tablet. Stéphane said, “You’re still ugly.”
It was a great afternoon.
32. Linus
Bill
May 2178
Epsilon Eridani
[Incoming Message from Linus]
“Linus? Holy hell! Put it on.”
I’d just recently received the radio transmission from Linus about Epsilon Indi and KKP. Linus had, unfortunately, left Epsilon Indi before my transmissions of the SCUT plans had reached him. He’d been out of touch since 2150, when he left Epsilon Indi, and he hadn’t lagged his light-speed report by more than a few months. I smiled to myself. There would have to be some catching up.
Linus’s original transmission included a complete description of his encounter with Henry Roberts, the replicant from the Australian probe. Which officially didn’t exist.
Guppy popped up an email for me. It was a status update, essentially. Linus was still a few days away, and he hadn’t been getting VR updates for the last thirty-odd years. The old video connections were even more subject to tau-related limitations than modern VR.
I sent him a return email with VR updates attached. Meanwhile, I would start building a SCUT unit for him to install when he got here.
*
Linus sat back, coffee in hand, and put his feet up on the desk. I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Come on, Bill,” Linus said, laughing. “I’ll fix any virtual damage afterwards, okay?”
I grinned back. “Mom taught us better than that.”
Linus rolled his eyes and took his feet off the desk. He materialized a footstool and made himself comfortable. “Gotta admit, I really like the new VR system. Nice job.”
“Wasn’t just me, Linus. Everyone has put in mods. Bob-1 did a whole independent branch out at Delta Eridani before we reconnected. Some really good fine-detail stuff came out of that.”
Linus shifted to get more comfortable, and I grinned into the short silence. “Okay, before I explode—what’s with KKP? You’ve actually named it Klown Kar Planet?”
“Yep.” Linus grinned back at me. “Have you seen the orbital mechanics diagram? It’s a satellite of the system’s Jovian, and both the orbit and the planet’s axis are inclined ninety degrees from normal. Try to visualize the path of the sun over the year.”
“Habitable?”
“Technically. Air’s right, gravity’s right, life is biocompatible. But I wouldn’t want to live there.”
“Mm. On the other hand, we don’t have a surplus of colony targets. I’ll bet one of the enclaves will select it.”
Linus nodded. He took on an introspective expression, and I knew he wanted to talk about Henry. I waited for him to organize his thoughts.