“In the garage,” I said, touching his arm. “I’ll show you.” I led him back through the kitchen and out the garage door.
It was shadowy and cool inside the garage, despite the rising summer sun, and I found myself not wanting to leave and go back out. Or maybe I just didn’t want to think about what I was going to tell Kurt. How was he going to feel when he found out I was helping cover up a murder? I’d done things that skirted the law before this, for the sake of someone I thought needed my help, but everything else paled in comparison to this. What had happened to me? Was Kurt right about me being so angry about the policy that I was trying to hurt him back? Or somehow all authority in general?
“Mom, are you really okay with this?” said Kenneth softly.
“You knew Stephen Carter,” I said, trying to sound more sure than I was as I stared at the row of rakes, shovels, and picks. “Did you think he was a good person?”
“Not a good person, no. But that doesn’t mean I thought he deserved to die with a kitchen knife in his chest.” He was pulling at his hair again, that familiar gesture that made my heart ache.
“Do you think Rebecca deserves to end up in prison after living so many years with him and dealing with all of his—machinations?” It seemed the best word to describe what their lives had been like together.
“So you’re saying you think she did it?” asked Kenneth, turning around and staring at the door we’d come through.
“No, I’m saying she’s the one the police would probably arrest. And then what would happen to everyone else here? You know how attached Naomi is to them. It’s not just Talitha she wants to protect, I don’t think.” I wished right then that I could go back in time and change my choice, that moment when I walked in and found Stephen’s dead body. If I’d called the police then, everything would have turned out different. Kenneth and I wouldn’t be up to our necks in this and unable to make a better choice. But there was no going back now.
“It’s just freaky how she’s on board with this,” said Kenneth, “almost like they had it planned out in advance. I mean, normal people don’t see a murder and think immediately, oh, let’s bury the body and just move on with our lives.”
I was wondering the same thing. But surely they wouldn’t have done it the weekend Kurt and I were supposed to be here.
“Well, the Carters aren’t exactly normal people,” I said.
“Yeah, I guess I’m getting that loud and clear every second we spend here,” Kenneth said.
I looked at him and could see that he was feeling some doubts. It was actually the most normal part of all of this. Whenever you meet the family of someone you love, you question things. You wonder if this is what they will be like, in the end. You worry about all the flaws that are on display and if you’ve missed something really big.
“Look, Kenneth, now is not the time to walk away. Naomi needs you. She’s dealing with hard stuff here, and I know you love her. You’re going to be stronger than ever as a couple if you get through this.” I was a little surprised at how I was defending the young woman I’d only met twice, but I felt strongly about her already.
Kenneth closed his eyes, nodded, and took a couple of deep breaths. “Right. Okay, I can help Naomi. But it still feels wrong to act as judge and jury and let a murderer go free. What if something else happens and we could have stopped it? We’ll never forgive ourselves.”
He was right about that. I couldn’t just tell myself that Stephen got what he deserved and that it didn’t matter who had done this. Even if Rebecca wasn’t in danger of being taken from the family, I had to make sure she knew who might be a threat. “Let me take care of it,” I said. “I’ll figure it out. You dig the grave.”
Kenneth’s eyebrows rose. “That seems like a slightly unfair division of labor to me.”
“You don’t know how bad I am at digging,” I said.
“Or how good you are at investigating murders, maybe,” said Kenneth, looking at me as if he were seeing me for the first time.
But he was the one who had told Naomi I could help her figure out what was wrong with Talitha. Well, I guess my son was going to see me in action now.
He tucked the shovel under one arm and grabbed a pair of gardening gloves, then we headed outside and past the shed, down the hill. I showed Kenneth where Lucy the cat’s grave was, in case he needed to show it to Talitha sometime when I wasn’t there. I had meant to show her myself, but other things seemed to keep getting in the way.
“You and Dad had a fight, didn’t you?” Kenneth asked as we were walking.
Instead of denying it, I said, “It’s normal for married people to have conflicts.” He was learning that right now.
“If you don’t want to talk about whatever happened with Dad, that’s fine. I just feel bad because it seems like it’s my fault. Mine and Naomi’s.”