“I can? Well, I’m not going to. You can’t frighten me into obedience anymore. There’s nothing left I care about that you can take from me.” Sarah seemed to be trying to goad Stephen. Why?
“These are our guests. I think they deserve better behavior from you than that,” Stephen said with the same stern tone.
“Maybe they do. But they’re not going to get it. You’ve told me too many times that I’m not capable of being an adult, so why should I bother to try anymore? I think I’m going to go for a walk. Don’t expect me back anytime soon.” Sarah went out the front door this time, slamming it behind her.
It was quite the display in front of guests. A part of me had to admire her courage, however uncomfortable it made us all socially.
“I’m sorry,” Rebecca said softly to Stephen.
I thought I could see a tiny twitch underneath one eye, but that was all the emotion he showed in reaction to Sarah’s temper. “We’ll continue as if that hadn’t happened. Sarah isn’t always in the best of moods. She has her cycles. You know what I mean, don’t you, Kurt?” he said, the humorous tone falling flat in this company.
And this from the man who had acted like he was a feminist, telling us that women were priestesses and goddesses. I didn’t know what was going on with Sarah, why she had married Stephen and remained all these years, but there had to be a bigger story here. Maybe it connected to Talitha’s situation and maybe it didn’t, but I had to find out. Call it my nosiness. Call it a sisterly feeling. I needed to know why Sarah was so angry when her sister was so devoted to Stephen.
Chapter 8
“Excuse me,” I said, needing a break from the tension of the theological argument and the strange scene with Sarah. “Do you mind if I go get a drink from the kitchen?”
“Oh, I can do that for you,” said Rebecca, standing up.
I waved her back down. “I can manage on my own. I’d hate to put you to any trouble,” I said, and stood up before she could protest.
Kurt followed me to the door. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I wasn’t even sure what I was most upset about. The revelation about polygamy going on in the official history of the church for so much longer than I thought? The way Stephen and Sarah interacted? Or just my general suspicions about there being something deeply wrong here under the surface?
“Not really,” I said, finding it impossible to try to explain to Kurt.
He held the door for me politely, then stepped into the kitchen after me.
“What a piece of work he is,” said Kurt.
He meant Stephen Carter, but the egomaniac wasn’t my only problem here. I wished I could honestly talk to my husband about all the church issues, but he’d just dismiss me and I’d get angrier. In any case, this wasn’t the time or place for us to have it all out. “It’s all so exhausting,” I said, which was true. I rubbed my temples, but it didn’t help me relax at all.
“We could just leave,” Kurt suggested. “I don’t think Naomi or Kenneth would really blame us, considering.”
Maybe Kenneth wouldn’t, but Naomi would. “I have to see what’s going on with Talitha. I promised Naomi, and we haven’t even met her yet,” I pointed out.
He sighed and shook his head. “You can’t let that go?”
“No, I can’t,” I said, annoyed.
Kurt tensed, but didn’t argue. “All right,” he said, and left me to go back to the other room.
I drank a tall glass of cold water, enjoying the moment of delicious quiet and privacy, since none of the Carters’ children came in and interrupted me, as I half-feared. I considered praying for calm and discernment here as I tried to find out about Talitha, but the words wouldn’t come. I found I was angry at God as much as Stephen Carter at the moment. How could everyone claim God was on their side, no matter what evil they were doing? It seemed like some good old-fashioned Old Testament smiting with lightning might be in order, but the sky outside the kitchen window didn’t have a cloud in it.
So instead I did some quick meditation and focused on breathing in and out. I hadn’t done that since my atheist days. I hadn’t needed to.
When I went back to the living room, Stephen called the children in from outside for an official introduction.
Finally, a chance to see Talitha and put away my other concerns! But I had to pay careful attention. Even from up close, the children all looked remarkably alike, Stephen’s strong features stamped on every face.