Tessa’s eyes popped open at the ugly memory, only to be blinded by the sudden blaze of a flashbulb.
“Goddammit!” he cursed. “You blinked! I told you not to move! Why do you always have to ruin everything? I swear, Tessa, if you would just listen to me for once—” He broke off angrily, adjusting some setting on the back of the camera.
Tessa fought for breath. She recognized the familiar feeling starting up: the vise grip of anxiety tightening around her chest. Her usual deep-breathing tricks couldn’t help her now. Not with a piece of duct tape over her mouth. She couldn’t get enough air in through her nose.
“I’m sorry, Tessa,” Blair said without looking at her. He lifted his camera and took a test shot of the wall. Then, with a grunt of satisfaction, he began edging around the room, viewing her from different angles through the lens.
Tessa darted a glance from the corner of her eye. He didn’t look the way she saw him in her nightmares. Not handsome but not exactly a monster either. He looked ordinary enough, with a sallow complexion and greasy, light-brown hair that might have been blond if it were clean. She could just detect the stale body odor that emanated from his clothes, concealed beneath the cloak of overpowering cologne.
He spoke in a low monotone as he moved about the room. “I didn’t come here to fight with you. Don’t look at me like that. You know why I had to do this. You left me no choice.”
Tessa struggled to follow the rambling speech. Her breath came faster now, despite her efforts to control it. She could feel her nostrils flare.
“You can look indignant if you want, love, but you know I have a point. It wasn’t very nice, what you did. Not a nice way to treat someone.” He paused to examine the picture he just snapped, but he shook his head. “Try not to do that thing with your nose, please. It’s not the most flattering look.”
Tessa barely comprehended. The buzzing sound had started in her ears. Soon it would be followed by the thick, black clouds at the edges of her vision. Would she zone out again? And then what? What would he do once he finished with the pictures? She blinked hard and forced as much air as she could manage into her lungs. His voice grew more forceful now, ranting, but she was too preoccupied with her own breathing to focus too closely on the words.
“Women! Why are women so stupid? Huh? Can you explain that to me? You’re all the same. You want the same ridiculous thing. Some asshole who treats you like garbage. Am I right? Calls you a bunch of disgusting names? And you talk to him. You say you love him. A guy who doesn’t even deserve to lick the bottoms of your feet! And meanwhile, a nice guy comes along—a genuinely nice person—who wants nothing but to love you and cherish you like you deserve, and how do you treat him? How, Tessa?”
Tessa blinked again. An asshole? Someone who called her names? Who was he talking about? Scott? But she’d broken up with Scott months ago…
She shook her head from side to side in confusion, and that was when her eyes landed on the coffee table just off to her left.
“He calls you a bloodsucking leech, and you follow him. You fall for him. And me? Not even a follow back. Honestly, how stupid are you?”
Tessa didn’t even register his words—too consumed with the bottle on the table. She suddenly remembered Dr. Regan’s final instructions before she left the house:
If she starts to hyperventilate, give her two pills with a glass of water.
If she could just get to that prescription bottle. Tessa shifted in her chair, awkwardly extending her leg as far to the left as it would go. So close. Just a few more inches…
“What are you doing?” he snapped. “Stop that! Stop leaning. You’re ruining the shot!”
Tessa lowered her leg and sat up straight again, planting both feet on the ground. She paused for a moment to suck in one more noseful of air. Then she jerked sideways with her full body. The chair legs screeched against the living room floor as she scooted an inch to the left.
“Cut it out, Tessa! What the hell?”
He took a step in her direction, but Tessa didn’t pay him any heed. She stuck out her foot again. This time she made contact with the tip of her toe. The bottle fell sideways, its contents rattling against the coffee table, and Blair stopped in his tracks. His whole face changed, so suddenly that it might have been comical under other circumstances. The anger evaporated, replaced by a mask of puppyish devotion.
“Your pills?” he said softly. “Oh gosh, are you OK, love? Are you hyperventilating?” He set down his camera and rushed to her side, grabbing the medication off the table. “Tessa, are you having a panic attack? Just say so. Just nod if you need your pills.”
She nodded vigorously.
“Anxiety disorder,” he muttered. “You know, you never would’ve had this problem in the first place if you’d stuck with me.” Tessa flinched at the flare of disapproval that crossed his face, but he patted her knee reassuringly. “Don’t worry. There’s no need to panic, Tessa. You did me wrong, but I forgive you. I love you. I’m here to be a good boyfriend to you now.” He opened the bottle and shook out a few pills onto the table. “You take these with water, right?”
Tessa nodded again. He stood and headed for the kitchen, and she slumped forward in relief.
Now what? Her mind reeled with scattered thoughts. She needed a plan. She didn’t have much time. He would have to take the tape off her mouth when he gave her the pills. Should she try to scream then? Would Dr. Regan hear it from the car?
Tessa shook her head. She couldn’t take the risk. If she screamed and no one heard…
She let out a tiny whimper. No, she couldn’t scream. Not from here. She tried desperately to focus, but she could barely summon the energy to put together a coherent thought. Her mind kept going back against her will, like a swimmer fighting against the current. Back to that other time…the time before. Last June.
She hadn’t screamed that night either. She’d somehow had the presence of mind to swallow her terror. She’d woken in the dark in an unfamiliar room, and she’d known she wasn’t alone. She’d sensed his presence beside her. He’d stirred, and she’d whispered soothingly, barely louder than a breath:
“Shhhhhhh. Go back to sleep.”
He’d rolled over in the bed, and she hadn’t stopped to look at him as she’d stumbled for the door.
THE INTERROGATION
(FRAGMENT 9) December 31, 2016 9:17 p.m.
Case #: 124.678.21–001
OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT OF POLICE INTERROGATION
—START PAGE 9—
INVESTIGATOR: Tessa, I need you to stay as calm as you possibly can right now, so that I can take your complete statement. Let’s talk about Blair Duncan.