Flunked (Fairy Tale Reform School, #1)

Er…was I placed in the right grade? “My last class was in glass slipper making.”


Professor Wolfington sits on the edge of his desk. Through his shirtsleeves I can see a lot of hair. “Take your time.” Jocelyn makes a loud clicking sound with her tongue that I assume is supposed to sound like a ticking clock.

“I…” Professor Wolfington waits patiently, but I can picture him running warp speed toward my desk and hanging me on a hook at the back of the classroom.

“Anyone would be a better ruler than those airheads.” We all turn around. My thoughts exactly. I’m surprised to see it’s Jax who said that. An ogre pounds his hands on his desk in agreement and the desk cracks.

“Interesting sentiment, Mr. Jax.” Professor Wolfington strokes his beard. “Ruling isn’t a popularity contest. It requires tough choices that are right for a whole kingdom. Do you think the princesses are capable of making them?” Jax looks away. “Anyone?”

WOOO-OOH! WOOO-OH! WOOO-OH!

An alarm goes off overhead with such intensity that I have to cover my ears.

Headmistress Flora’s voice comes over the intercom. “Students, this is an evacuation drill.” A gnome muffles her cry. Why is she so worked up over a drill? “Report to your assigned stations at once and wait for further instructions.”

Professor Wolfington claps his hands. “Okay, students, you heard the headmistress. Go to your assigned stations immediately. Do not panic!”

Some good that instruction does. Everyone in the room begins to freak out. A troll boy is crying. The sea creatures shoot downward out of their tanks. Jocelyn strolls out of the room calmly, while the pixie flies out and leaves her book bag behind. I spin around, unsure of what is happening or where I’m supposed to go. Nobody told me anything about an assigned station. I look desperately for Kayla, but she seems to have disappeared. Why does a drill have everyone in such a tizzy? We had fire drills at trade school all the time. You’re used to it when your school has a thatched roof.

“Hey, Jax, what’s with the drill?” I start to say, turning to look for him, but he’s gone too. Humph. Some friends I’ve made, leaving me to fend for myself in this empty room.

But on second thought…

Miri is probably occupied with everything going on. The Wolf is gone. I look around to make sure no one else is watching, then head to the velvet drapes and slide off two brass rings. What the heck? I’ll take two more. The four fit in my two skirt pockets, but they do weigh the pockets down a bit. Who cares? These babies will feed my brothers and sisters for a month. I slip out the classroom door and enter total chaos.

Ogres are running at top speed (for them). Fairies are flying, even though it’s against the rules. Two trolls thump by me carrying a desk lamp and a gold trophy. I begin heading toward one exit when the hallway disappears in front of me. A troll next to me starts to cry. “We’re trapped!” he says.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, someone tell Miri to shut off the magical hallway mover!” I hear one older girl say to another one. They’re dressed in beautiful, matching jade-green dresses, so they’re not students, and they seem to be in charge. They’re directing students to a new exit that just popped up in a stained-glass window. I realize I’ve seen these girls’ pictures in Flora’s office. They must be her daughters, Azalea and Dahlia. Kayla said they are student teachers here—and two of her best customers for her fake bag business.

Dahlia puts her hand out in front of a cute boy. “Where are you going, Geoff? You can use my exit if you want instead of going all the way to your station.” She giggles girlishly and I roll my eyes.

“Thanks, Dahlia!” Geoff’s voice is sickeningly sweet, like taffy. “That’s a nice dress.”

Dahlia blushes and her rosy cheeks turn downright purple. “Oh, this ol’ thing? Aren’t you sweet!”

“Dahlia!” Azalea yells. “He can’t use our exit. He has to go to his station.” Geoff sighs. “All of you, get a move on.” As everyone moves like cattle to the window to exit, I notice Flora slip down a new hall that just appeared. Why isn’t she evacuating?

Ouch! A troll knocks two girls and me down as he pushes past us to get through the window exit first. I shake myself off and get up, but the two girls burst into tears.

“Zeus, geez! Chill!” Azalea reprimands the troll. “We’re all leaving, but you…”

That’s when I make my break for it.

Too bad I’m so loud. When I run, the brass rings in my pocket clink together and the sound echoes through the hall. I cringe, thinking Flora will hear me. At the same time, I’m worried she’ll get away—which she does. I have to find her.