Flunked (Fairy Tale Reform School, #1)

Thump! Thump! Thump! THUMPThump! Thump!

The Evil Queen’s hand slips, and lotion gets all over the bodice of her dress. She emits a low growl. “What is that racket? Miri!” she yells. Aldo flies off Professor Harlow’s shoulder and dives over people’s heads. “Miri! Where are you?”

The mirror in front of Harlow begins to glow green, then orange, then purple. “Harlow, we’ve been over this,” a voice inside the mirror says with a sigh. “Only Headmistress Flora can demand my appearance.”

“Well, I’m demanding it anyway,” Professor Harlow seethes. “What is that God-awful noise interrupting my group’s therapy session?”

“I’m surprised you haven’t dismissed class already,” Miri says, sounding anything but nervous at Harlow’s tone. “Didn’t you get the memo from Flora this morning?”

“What memo?” Harlow yells over the continuing banging, which only seems to grow louder by the minute. Harlow’s head whips around to the class. “Write!”

We all look down at our papers. I grab a quill and my ink.

“Psst.” I look over at Maxine. She offers me a quill. “Use this.”

I hold mine up. “Thanks, but mine works fine.”

“Oops!” I hear Miri sing. “I was supposed to give you the memo. Just like you were supposed to tell me about the meeting in Flora’s office yesterday.”

Maxine shakes her head and her lazy eye does a quick bounce. Her thick-rimmed glasses match the color of her light brown hair. “Use this. There’s a message in it from a friend.” She passes the quill over as Harlow and Miri argue. “Write with it. You’ll see.”

What does she mean the quill has a message in it? I look at it, wondering if there is a secret compartment, but I don’t see one. I dip the quill in the ink and nothing happens. Then I try putting the quill to paper. That’s when things get weird. I know what I want to write, but instead, different words come out.


Hey G! It’s me! K! Cool quill, huh? Sorry I didn’t warn you about Jocelyn. I’m not feeling great. Going to skip the next class and lie down for a while. Can you give me some peace and quiet? I’ll give you the grand tour of FTRS later! I promise!

After the words appear, the ink slowly disappears again, leaving a blank page.

That. Is. So. Cool. I write her back.


Feel better! We’ll hang out later. —G

The words appear, then disappear. Amazing. “Psst.” I pass Maxine the quill. She grabs it when Harlow isn’t looking.

“I have never seen this memo before!” Harlow is yelling. “Flora canceled today’s classes to paint the castle? That’s ridiculous!”

“What’s ridiculous is that we haven’t done it already,” Miri tells her. “The princesses have agreed to Royal Day happening in less than two weeks, and there is a lot to prepare before their arrival.”

“I’m not canceling classes for a paint session!” Harlow says incredulously. “They’ll have to paint around us!”

We put our heads back down to write, but the banging only gets louder. It’s hard to concentrate. I see the mer-boy’s water quill fly out of his hand at the hammering, which must be amplified in his tank. Then there is a knock at the door.

“’Scuse me, ma’am?” A peasant in paint-splattered clothes and a cap stands in the doorway with a brush and a bucket. The smell of the paint hits my nose almost instantly. “We need to get started in this room.” He looks around. “Wow, Murray, get in here,” he calls to someone. “This room is the worst yet!”

I hear Miri muffle a laugh.

“Do you mind?” Harlow says, and with a flick of her wrist, the door slams in the peasant’s face. She sighs. “Children, it seems that our time together needs to come to an end.”

A small cheer is quickly extinguished as Aldo nosedives at the boy who is the loudest.

“But,” Professor Harlow says, letting the word linger in the air, “I expect this paper on my desk tomorrow.” Everyone groans. “Enjoy your afternoon, class.” She opens the door again and Murray enters slowly.

I gather my things and think about how I’m going to use my time now that there is no class and I can’t go back to our room. I guess I could practice fencing near the woods. Sounds like I’ll be dueling Jocelyn in our classroom soon enough.

“Hi, Gilly.” Maxine is waiting for me. “Thanks for sticking up for me back there. No one ever does that.” She looks down at her huge shoes. Father would have a hard time making boots for those clonkers.

“That’s what friends are for,” I say automatically. Maybe Miri will notice and mark me down for good behavior. Maxine’s smile widens. Her teeth are a little green.