“You’ve been walking around on a broken ankle? Did you forget everything I taught you?”
“I should be dead by now,” Adrian said. “Then it wouldn’t matter. It’s just—blood and bones!”
With a quick, expert snap, Taliesin had realigned the bone. The pain nearly put Adrian through the roof.
“You could’ve warned me,” he said.
“You’re the one that didn’t want to drink the tea,” Taliesin said without sympathy. She began wrapping the ankle with long strips of cloth. “Why are you here?”
“I want to come with you to Oden’s Ford,” Adrian said. “You said you could get me into Spiritas. I’ll study with you, then transfer to Mystwerk when I’m old enough.”
“I can get you into Spiritas. But right now you should go home to your mother. You can’t let her go on thinking you’re dead or kidnapped. She needs you right now.”
“She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t need anyone. If not for her, my da would still be alive.” Even as he said it, Adrian knew that it was wrong, and unfair. But he was sick and tired, and in no mood to be reasonable.
“Ah,” Taliesin said, sipping at her own tea. “Then she was in on the conspiracy. I suppose she didn’t love him?”
“Just stop it!” Adrian shouted. A young girl poked her head between the curtains that divided the back of the shop from the front. Taliesin waved her off without taking her eyes off Adrian.
“That’s not what I mean, and you bloody well know it,” Adrian hissed. “Yes, she loved him. He’s dead because he loved her back, and because he loved me, and he shouldn’t have had to pay that price for love.”
“Aye, there’s something we agree on.” Taliesin set her cup down. “He shouldn’t have had to pay that price. Love is the root of so much suffering and misery, so much loss. It’s the worst thing in the world, to risk yourself by loving someone. At the same time, it’s the best thing in the world—and worth the risk. I don’t know your mother and sister—but I know you, and I’d wager that they want you back.” That was as close to a compliment as he’d ever get from Taliesin.
“I have to go to Oden’s Ford,” Adrian said. “The . . . the last thing my da said to me . . . he gave me his amulet and he said, ‘I want you to go to Oden’s Ford and learn how to use it.’ But there’s no way my mother would let me go now, after what’s happened. It was bad enough after Hana.”
“Tell the queen what your father said. I’m sure she’ll want to honor that. If not this year, you can come to Spiritas next year. I’ll hold a place for you.”
“You don’t understand,” Adrian whispered, his voice catching. “It’s not just that.”
Taliesin gripped his hands, leaning in toward him. “Tell me what I don’t understand.”
“I can’t go back. I—I just can’t go back, and have to tell my mother and sister how he died. They deserve to know, but—I don’t want to have to see their faces, and know that I should have done something to prevent it. I can’t go anywhere in Fellsmarch without noticing the big hole he left behind. Every time I turn a corner, I’ll remember something he said, or did, or a story he told. He was like the beating heart of the city, and the king of Arden put a blade right through it. And people will look at me, and know I’m the one responsible.”
“Do you really think they’ll blame you, Mageling?”
“Why shouldn’t they? I blame myself. I’ll think they’re looking at me that way, and every time, I’ll die a little bit. I’d rather just get it over with.” He was shaking again, whether from grief, or fever, or what, he didn’t know.
“Have some more tea,” Taliesin said softly. “It’s not a cure for a broken heart, but it does take the edge off.”
This time, Adrian drank deeply. “I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not even looking for you to agree with me. I just want a way out. I just want the pain to stop. If I can’t come with you, I’ll find a way to end this on my own.” His gaze met hers, and his fingers found the shape of the packet of gedden weed in his breeches pocket.
Adrian could tell that Taliesin understood his meaning immediately, and believed him. She always took him seriously, always treated him like a grown-up even when he didn’t deserve it. It was one of the things he liked about her.
“What if you know something that might help to catch the killers?” she said. “Do you want that knowledge to die with you?”
That was like a punch to the gut. What if?
“What if you might be able to prevent another murder?”
Or at least avenge the ones that have already happened.