“I wouldn’t dare,” Caleb said. His lips twitched. “Have you ever seen Karan try to hex someone?”
“No,” Emily said.
“She’s good.” He smiled. “I once saw her put a hex right through Casper’s wards. He was sprouting boils for days afterwards.”
He sobered. “I wouldn’t choose her husband, but I would have to make sure she chose well. And if she picked badly…I’d have to give her the choice between giving him up, or being disowned.”
“That’s horrible,” Emily said, quietly.
“It’s for the family,” Caleb said. “That’s what Mother said. It’s for the family.”
Emily shook her head in disbelief. “Would a poor choice really affect the whole family?”
“It could,” Caleb said. “And then, there’s House Waterfall. I’d have to steer a course between their demands, which will intensify when Mother dies, and my siblings.”
“Ouch,” Emily said.
She shuddered. Fulvia had treated her granddaughter as a pawn in her schemes. If Caleb’s uncle was anything like her, Karan and Marian would be seen as assets on the marriage market. Coming to think of it, Caleb and Croce would be in the same place. Caleb wouldn’t find it easy to assert his family’s independence against an older, wiser and probably more powerful magician. They might be threatened with complete disownment if they didn’t fall in line.
Which might not be so bad, she mused.
“And there’s another problem,” Caleb said. He looked…he looked as though he didn’t want to say anything. And yet, it was clear he knew he had no choice. “I’ll be expected to marry as soon as I gain my mastery.”
Emily froze. Caleb had been a second son when they’d begun their courtship. Sienna had made that very clear, but she hadn’t bothered to spell out the implications. Perhaps she’d assumed that Emily had known them. Casper’s marriage would probably have been arranged as soon as he completed his training…for all she knew, it had already been arranged and both sets of parents were only waiting for him to graduate before formalizing the arrangement. It wasn’t as if Casper would have felt any inclination to discuss it with her…
A thought struck her. If there was an arranged marriage, one that had been planned before Casper’s death, would Caleb be expected to stand in Casper’s place?
She swallowed. She didn’t want to know. But she had to ask. “Did…did Casper have a planned match?”
Caleb looked relieved. “I don’t think so. There would have been interest, of course, but Mother wouldn’t have finalized anything until Casper gained his mastery.”
He looked down at the rough bedding, seemingly unwilling to meet her eyes. “Would you marry me after I gain my mastery?”
Emily hesitated. She didn’t know.
“You wouldn’t have to stay here,” Caleb said. He sounded as though he was trying to convince himself, not Emily. “You could complete your own mastery before we have children. You’d…”
His voice trailed off. “I don’t know…”
Emily forced herself not to look away. She still didn’t know. She liked Caleb a lot. He was nothing like her stepfather, nothing like the boys at school she’d feared…nothing like Hodge or Robin. He lacked the sheer energy of Jade or Cat – or Casper, for that matter – but he was intelligent, stable and decent. She’d chosen to sleep with him, to give him her virginity…she didn’t regret it, not really.
And yet…marriage?
It would change her life. She would be tied down by laws and customs that weren’t hers, that probably never would be hers. And, given her position, there would be hundreds of minor conflicts. Caleb was no longer a free agent, no longer someone who could walk away from his family to marry a baroness. There would be consequences if he stayed with his family and other, different, consequences if he left. Or if they disowned him.
“I don’t know,” she said, again.
She felt a pang of bitter regret, mixed with frustration. They’d talked of hopes and dreams, of plans for the future…plans they’d implement, once they left school. Those plans were gone now…perhaps. Caleb might be called back at any moment to succeed his mother. And she, as his wife, would have to go with him…or people would talk. She understood, now, precisely why Sienna had chosen General Pollack for a husband. He brought no new obligations to the match.
“You’ll have to choose soon,” Caleb said. He sounded haunted. He’d had dreams too. “I will respect your choice, but…”
Emily gritted her teeth in anger. Yes, he would respect her choice. She knew he’d respect her choice. And yet, what was the choice? To marry him as soon as he gained his mastery, or leave him, knowing they were both poor choices? Or to watch as he was introduced to a succession of eligible beauties by his mother, who would pressure him to get married and start working on the next generation as soon as possible?
And if I say no now, she asked herself, what then?
“I’ll choose soon,” she said. She knew she was only putting off the moment when she would have to make a choice, but it was the only thing she could do. She needed to talk to Lady Barb or someone else who could give her proper advice, not make a decision on the spur of the moment. “And I wish…”
“I know,” Caleb said.
Emily sat up and looked down at him. Caleb wasn’t the handsomest man in the world – she admitted that freely, if only to herself – but she would have been suspicious of a handsome man. And yet…
She shook her head. “I captured a nexus point,” she said. “It’s mine.”
“I heard,” Caleb said. “Everyone – and I mean everyone – was talking about it before we left school. You locked everyone out.”
Emily smiled. She’d been there – literally – when Whitehall’s nexus point had been tamed, nearly a thousand years in the past. She was the only living person who knew how it had been done, let alone how to repeat the process. Other nexus points had been tapped for power, of course, but no one had managed to duplicate Whitehall’s spells. Heart’s Eye would remain sealed off until she was ready to return.