“Anyway,” Alex said, like he knew I was about to bolt and didn’t want me to, like he was trying to keep me talking. “I’m just saying, I don’t doubt your pop-star capabilities. A year from now you’ll be living in Beverly Hills and driving a Ferrari, just watch.”
I smirked. “Of course that’s what you want,” I said, sitting back down again in spite of myself, kicking my legs through the chilly water. “A Ferrari. Boys always want stupid stuff like that.”
“Stupid stuff, huh?” Alex raised his eyebrows. He had a really pretty mouth. “What would you want?”
I shook my head, looking down at the frayed hem of my shorts. A door opened up on the second floor of the building, the flick of a lighter as a middle-aged woman lit a cigarette up on her balcony. The smoke curled through the humid air. “Forget it,” I said quietly. “It’s dumb.”
“Come on,” Alex said. “I’m just teasing. Tell me.”
“You’re going to laugh at me.”
“I’m not going to laugh at you.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“A minivan.”
Alex looked at me full-on then, elegant eyebrows arched and the edges of that pink mouth just barely twitching. “I’m not laughing,” he said finally.
“I just like the idea of it, okay?” I said, feeling stupid, glancing up to make sure cigarette lady hadn’t overheard. I don’t know why it never occurred to me to just lie to Alex about my answer, to say something cooler and more normal. For some reason it didn’t seem like an option. “Like one of the fancy ones with a TV in it, like it’s this little house that just rolls around and nobody can touch you. Like being in a spaceship.”
“A Dodge spaceship,” Alex said.
I shook my head again, making a face. “I knew you’d think it was dumb.”
“I don’t think it’s dumb,” he said, sliding his hand a tiny bit closer to mine on the concrete in a move I wasn’t sure if I was meant to notice or not. The edges of our pinkies brushed. “Hey. Dana. I don’t think it’s dumb.”
I took a deep breath, glanced up at where Olivia was sleeping. Pulled my hand away. “My mom’s car,” I told him, “the car I learned to drive on? We’ve had it since before I was born and it just, like, scrapes along the road. Like you can almost feel the highway under your butt. That’s all.” I shrugged, pretty sure that just from those couple of sentences he’d be able to extrapolate a whole bunch of other undesirable things about me, my family, and where I was from. It made me feel equal parts embarrassed and defensive, worried what he’d think of me and simultaneously telling myself I didn’t care. “What do you actually drive, like, a Volvo or something?”
“No!” Alex said, like I’d offended him somehow. Then, though: “A Suburban.”
“Oh, okay, then.” I rolled my eyes. God, his house probably had a white picket fence in front of it. I would have hated him, anywhere else. “Who even are you?”
“Who are you?” Alex countered. “Hmm? Mysterious Dana Cartwright.”
I laughed. “I am not mysterious.”
“You are, though,” Alex said, and I didn’t know what to say to that, exactly. Upstairs, cigarette lady went back inside. I was getting ready to leave for real when Alex stood up all at once. “I’m gonna swim,” he said decisively. “You coming?”
“What?” I said, gawking at him. It had to be almost two in the morning by now. A hot, stuffy wind rustled the fronds of the palm trees overhead. “Right this minute? Absolutely not.”
“What are you, scared you’re gonna get in trouble?” he teased.
No, I’m afraid I’m going to break my best friend’s damn heart. “Okay,” I said, standing up to look him in the eye, though even at my full height, my forehead was only about level to his chin. “You of all people are not calling me chickenshit.”
“Why me of all people?” Alex asked, taking both my hands this time. I didn’t pull away. My heart was a hummingbird inside my chest, a constant shallow thrumming; I smelled concrete and chlorine and boy. “What is it about me in particular that makes it so especially ridiculous?”
“Well, you drive a Suburban, to start.”
“This from the girl who aspires to own a mom-mobile.”
“Oh, you’re a comedian.” I let go of his hands to flip him a double bird, but I was smiling. A hot, humid breeze ambled across the back of my neck. “And you’re a rule-follower, is why it’s ridiculous. I can already tell.” He was, too. I wasn’t just giving him a hard time for the fun of it. He was the kind of person who’d never had a reason not to be. He probably got straight A’s at school and still asked the teacher for extra credit.
Alex tipped his head at that, like, fair enough. “Sometimes,” he admitted, reaching back behind him and pulling his T-shirt off in one fast, fluid motion. “Not always.”
I glanced at him, glanced up at the apartment.
Glanced back.
It wasn’t like I’d never seen a guy without his shirt on before—wasn’t like I’d never taken a guy’s shirt off myself—but something about seeing Alex half-naked unnerved me a little, his flat, smooth stomach and the sharp cut of his hip bones. There was a thin golden trail of hair that started just below his navel and disappeared into the waistband of his shorts. I felt my whole body flush.
“You coming?” Alex asked, and jumped in.
“No!” I said, then: “Damn it.” I huffed a noisy breath, then pulled off my T-shirt and hopped over the side of the pool with a quiet splash. When I surfaced he was staring at me.
“Jesus, you’re pretty,” he said, and I rolled my eyes again. My bra was a screaming neon pink.
“You are,” Alex said, taking a step closer. There were flecks of pool water in his eyelashes. “I know you think I’m corny and, like, southern, but, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m southern, too,” I pointed out, ignoring the other part.
“Dana,” he said, like I was being dense on purpose.
“Alex,” I replied, mimicking his tone exactly. God, I had to go inside.
Alex smiled almost bashfully. “You think I’m full of crap?” he asked.
I thought about that for a moment. “No,” I admitted finally.
“Come here,” he said, holding his hand out until I took it, pulling me through the cold water until my chest was right up against his.
“Why?” I asked him as I went.
“I want to do something.”
“What?” I asked, even though I already knew what, knew exactly, and for the first time all night I wasn’t thinking about Olivia at all. I could feel the steam rising off Alex’s skin. When he kissed me, it was totally new and like something we’d already done a hundred times before, his soft tongue and the press of his shoulders and his fingers threaded through mine underneath the water, both of us holding on tight tight tight. Up above us, the purple sky stretched out to infinity, too much light from the city to see any stars.
ELEVEN