Okay, maybe I’d done that a few times in the second round. Or third. Whatever. I push at his chest. “You’re a dick to bring that up. Let me go.”
But he only sweeps me into his arms and moves back toward the bed, ignoring my struggles. You say you do not wish to be my mate? I will show you that you do.
Fear—and desire—shoot through me, dual emotions. My hand curls into a fist, and I hammer at his shoulder even as he carries me to the bed. “I want you to put me down!”
A moment later, I thump onto the bed, flat on my back. Kael looms over me, eyes gleaming in the darkness of the small room that we’ve made into a bedroom. Shall I prove to you how much you want my mouth on your flesh? My tongue sweeping over that little nub of flesh that you enjoy so much? Tasting all of you?
“No!” But a small part of me is screaming yes, is turned on by this show of strength. Deep inside, I love that I can’t push him around. That I’m never in charge. Sometimes I’m so tired of being in charge. Being with him is almost freeing—except that it fucks over Amy and Sasha.
Big hands jerk at my tightly clenched knees, spreading my legs wide and exposing my pussy to him. I both hate and love that I grow immediately wet when he gazes down on me. And when his nostrils flare and he gives me a knowing look, I feel ashamed I’m so obvious. I’m a big hypocrite. I know I am. But I can’t look away as he licks his lips and bends over my pussy, as if preparing to feast. I jerk against his hand as he spreads my folds with careful fingers and leans in. His scorching, raspy tongue sweeps over my clit, and he gives a low rumble of pleasure in his throat.
The taste of you tells me that you enjoy my touch, my mate. I will make your legs tremble with so much pleasure that you will not be able to push me away. You will beg me for more. And he licks me hard again.
Shudders ripple through me, shudders of pleasure mixed with intense guilt. A sob breaks in my throat, and I press a hand over my eyes as I begin to cry. I hate it, but he’s right. I love the feel of his mouth against me, the dangerous power in him…and knowing he can be so very gentle with me, his entire being focused on giving me pleasure.
And that just makes things worse, because I don’t know what to do. About anything. I’m fucked if I love him, and I’m broken if I don’t. I continue sobbing, inconsolable.
Kael strokes my cheek with the backs of his knuckles, ever so gently. You weep? he asks, and I can feel his confusion, anger, and helplessness. This is ‘no’?
This is no, I agree, not trusting my voice. I don’t care what my body says. My mind says no.
I…have made you cry. Remorse pulses through his mind, so thick that it permeates my own thoughts. My Claudia. Forgive me.
To my surprise, he pulls me from the bed and gathers me in his arms, holding me in a tight, oddly comforting hug. I don’t know how he knew that I needed a hug, but it helps. I burrow my face against his chest and let the tears flow.
26
CLAUDIA
The next morning, we don’t speak of things. Kael’s in a foul mood, though he had woken up early enough to catch breakfast for me and woke me with a roasted haunch of…something. I don’t ask what it is or how it died. I don’t want to know.
My own mood isn’t exactly stellar, either. I’m tired after our fight last night and sick with worry over poor Amy. I have to do something about my sister, soon. I can’t leave Amy there, and I can’t go back, either. I realize that now. It’s not that I’m dying to get back to a life of scrounging for the next bite to eat and sleeping in the back of a too-hot school bus, surrounded by a city full of unscrupulous, hardscrabble scavengers that try to take whatever you have, including your body. But…Fort Dallas is the devil I know. It’s familiar, it’s safe (mostly), and there are no surprises, except for the occasional out-of-pattern dragon attack.
And since I’ve ‘tamed’ Kael, I guess I’ve fixed some of that.
You’re welcome, Fort Dallas.
I worry about Sasha, too. She does what she has to in order to survive, and I hope she hasn’t put herself in danger. I don’t like to think of my friend willingly letting someone hurt her just for a few bites of food.
And Amy. Poor, fragile Amy. I picture my sister, her pale blonde hair, wide eyes, and bad leg that makes every step a slow limp. She won’t be able to survive without me. She’s too shy, too frightened of the world. It’s a scary, brutal place in the After, and Amy doesn’t have the personality to make it. She’s too trusting.
I simply have to do something. I think hard about this as I pick at my breakfast. I’m trying to eat it, since Kael was thoughtful enough to bring it, and meat should never be wasted, but I have no appetite. I’m sick with worry. A shadow flicks overhead, and I glance up, expecting to see gold wing.
Except…Kael is in the room with me.
A flick of red tail seen through one of the holes in the ceiling makes me tense. A red. A female. They’re completely lost to the madness. I stiffen in fear. It’s time for a dragon attack. I’ve lost all track of the patterns, and this one’s taken me by surprise. Very faintly, off in the distance, I hear the wail of the Fort Dallas sirens.
I push my food aside and get to my feet, staggering backward.
What is it, my mate?
“Red dragon,” I stammer, pointing at the sky.
She will not hurt you. She does not sense you as a rival, nor me as a potential mate. My venom has been given.
“O-okay.” I can’t stop trembling at the sight of it, though. The urge to hide is overwhelming.
I will make her leave. Do not fear, my Claudia. He immediately surges to dragon form and springs into the air. I hear his bellow of warning a second later, and the smaller red dragon’s high-pitched shriek of response. The smell of ash is carried in on the wind, and I realize the red’s been flaming the city somewhere. Something’s burning.
Worried, I retreat into the shadows of a nearby room with a protected ceiling and open the supply closet. I shut the door behind me and crouch in a corner, shaking. When dragons attack, the safest place is surrounded by concrete, but this will have to do. I can’t get over how scared I am. I shouldn’t be afraid of dragons anymore, should I? Not with Kael at my side? But the fear is real and vivid, and I’m shaking hard. And because I’m weak and needy, I reach out to Kael’s mind for comfort and reassurance. Kael? Is everything all right?
I am here, he sends, and his thoughts are warm and comforting. Do not fear.
Can you make her leave? I’m scared.
She is crazed, Kael tells me, his own thoughts a bit muddy. I am telling her to leave, but she is having a hard time comprehending. Her mind is nearly gone with madness. It is hard to connect with her.