You accepted me into your arms. Was that not permission? I can feel the earnestness in his thoughts.
And…crap. I’m starting to feel a mix of guilt and frustration. “Is casual sex not a thing with your people? Can’t we just have sex because we want to, not because we want to be forever mated or anything?” I’m still angry about what happened during sex, but I’m starting to resent him less for what he did. If that’s how his people think things go down, of course he’s not going to see a problem with it. “I thought we were having casual sex. Just for fun.”
But you are small and fragile. He noses my hair again and then sets me down gently on the ground as if I am the most precious of objects. Only a bonded mate can take her male’s seed.
“So you bonded me to you? With venom?” My hand goes to my throat, and my neck still feels hot. Actually, all of me feels rather flushed and feverish, though I’m starting to get used to it. “All so you could jizz inside me? Seriously?”
You are not as warm as drakoni. I did not want to burn you when we had pleasure and I gave you my seed.
“Newsflash, it wasn’t pleasure for me, not after that.” At the flash of alarm in his mind, I shake my head. “Forget it. I don’t want to argue that. I want to know more about this venom-bonding crap. Can we reverse it?”
You are my mate. Why would I change that? The large, wedge-shaped head moves toward me, his eyes swirling amber with just a hint of black.
I shake my head. “I can’t be your mate. I’m human. One of these things is not like the other. I’m not like you—I can’t shift to dragon form just as easily as thinking.”
Your kind is small and fragile, but you are fertile. I will be careful with you. This I promise. My cock fits between your legs sweetly, and you taste delicious. I could lick between your thighs for hours. You especially liked it when I touched the little nub there. Your cries were pleasing to me.
Oh god, dragon dirty talk should not be hot. Somehow, this is way, way sexier than when he was silent and just infusing our names with all kinds of innuendo. I shouldn’t want to hear it. I shouldn’t. “Hush.”
You do not wish me to talk about how much I like to please my mate? Shall I change to my two-legged form and show you?
“Eep! No! I don’t want to be shown anything right now! I’m a mess.” I want to smack myself for using that as an excuse. Being dirty isn’t the reason why I don’t want him to touch me. At least, it shouldn’t be. But every time I’m around him, I get all flustered and start thinking about things I shouldn’t. Like the fact that his tongue is raspy even in human form.
Stop it, Claudia. Slippery slope there.
Kael’s thoughts break through mine. What is this ‘mess’? I do not understand.
I pull a handful of filthy hair away from my head and shake it. “This. I’m gross. I smell, remember?”
You do smell like other humans, my mate. I do not appreciate the smell, either. But I tolerate it for now.
“Gee, thanks.”
You speak appreciation, but it is not in your thoughts. I can hear the wry teasing in his mind. I do not think you are entirely truthful.
“And I don’t know that I’m a fan of this mind stuff. How is it you can talk in my head?”
Our kind take to the air and the seas. Our world has rough, high winds that can be very extreme from place to place. We learned many years ago to speak through the mind and to link to our families. It is the best way of speaking directly. Our world is not like yours. It is not like this awful place that smells of humans and decay. I do not like it here. As he speaks, his thoughts take on a wild, desperate tinge, and I almost expect to see his eyes go black with high emotion.
Automatically, I put a hand out to calm him and stroke the scales on his foreleg. Immediately, his thoughts quiet and the worrisome fringe emotions float away again. “If you hate it here, why don’t you go back? I’m pretty sure humans would be okay with that.” Hell, as a whole, humanity would probably jump for joy.
I’m just not sure how I’d feel, and I hate that I even have to stop and question it. As a whole, dragons are the enemy. But Kael…Kael’s different, and the thought of him leaving and me never seeing him again fills me with both a sense of relief and a wild, unhappy yearning.
There is no going back. The heavens tore open and ripped us away from our home. Ever since, we exist in madness. There is nothing but destruction and death and the endless need to create both.
I’ve felt that touch of madness in his thoughts. “How come you’re handling the madness okay compared to the others?” I continue to stroke his scales to soothe him. “I mean, you’ve been vicious, but not to me.”
Never to you. He leans in, and his muzzle gently touches my hair. You are what keeps me anchored to sanity. Bonding to you prevents me from losing control. Without it, I would be… I can feel him pause. You do not want to know.
“I do,” I tell him softly. “I need to understand.” I feel like so much between us is misunderstandings and complications. If we’re to come to terms with each other, we need to figure out how the other works. “Can you show me?”
His eyes meet mine, and as they do, I feel him open up. My brain immediately fills with an intense jumble of images, all screaming to the forefront and impossible to take in. It’s like being blasted by a hundred TV channels at once, all at top volume, and I stagger. A brief second later, the image flood stops, and I sink against him in relief. My head is pounding just from that small ‘share.’ He touches my hand with his nose, as if trying to comfort me.
That is what being in your world is like for me. But with you as my anchor, I do not hear it anymore. Instead of a constant roar, it is a soft buzz in the background and easily ignored. You bring light and calm to my world. You are my world.
I’m overwhelmed, not only by what I’ve just learned, but by his sweet words. No wonder he has fits of violence. With all that garbage in his mind day in and day out, it’s a wonder he can even talk to me right now. I rub my brows, just thinking about all of that chaos. “So this is why you won’t give me up? Because I keep your head quiet?”
Because you are my mate. It will bring me great joy to care for you and protect you. I live for your happiness. A drakoni male is utterly devoted to his mate. I would show you just how devoted I can be to your needs. The low, thrumming purr starts in his throat again. And I would love to taste you again, my Claudia.
Oh sweet lord. I automatically clamp my thighs together in response. Just as quickly as desire and need hits me, so does the fear. My mind flashes with the memory of those big teeth sinking into my throat and the hot pain they brought with them. “I don’t think I want you to touch me. I think I want to go home.”