“Jane… baby… I have to,” I cajole.
I expect her to argue, cry, lament, plead, beg, and negotiate with me.
Instead, her head lifts from the pillow, one hand goes to the back of my head, and she pulls me to her for a kiss. A hot, wet, passionate kiss full of desperation and need.
I don’t resist.
This I cannot resist.
Jane ensures this conversation is put on hold as her other hand slips between our bodies and she grabs onto my cock, which had already started to harden when her lips touched mine.
Jane shifts her hips, widens her legs a bit, and strokes me swiftly. My body reacts, and I groan into her mouth.
She kisses me like she’s never done before, pouring every bit of passion laced with misery over my declaration that I’m leaving. I try to pull my head up, just so I can look into her eyes and see how badly she’s broken despite what she’s doing to my cock right now.
But Jane isn’t having any of it. Her fingers grip into the muscles of my neck, and she shifts again, tilting her hips under me. With a rough tug of her other hand, she pulls my dick right to her entrance and rubs the tip of me through her wetness.
“Christ, Jane,” I growl into her mouth, because that felt goddamn amazing. Her soft skin against mine with nothing in between, a sensation I’ve never felt before. My head swims with confusion and my body rages with lust. I manage to grit out, “Let me get a condom on, honey.”
Her answer is to kiss me harder, growling into my mouth and pulling me into her. I slide a fraction of an inch in, and, for a moment, my heart actually stops beating as I take it all in.
Jane desperate to make our bond closer.
My need to separate from her.
The unbelievable feeling of having every single barrier between our bodies removed, even if I’m keeping one firmly in place around who I really am.
“Please,” Jane begs as she pulls slightly back from my mouth. “Fuck me, Kyle. Right now.”
I want to tell her it won’t change anything, but because I’m selfish and I want this memory of her more than anything, I give into my basic urges and fall deeply into Jane’s body.
One push.
A surging force into all that sweetness.
Totally claiming, although it could never be a permanent one.
She’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire fucking life. For a second, I think I might actually have been forgiven by God for all my sins since I’ve been given the most perfect gift I’ll ever receive.
CHAPTER 25
Jane
My fists clench in hard anger as I stomp across the dewy grass of my front yard, leaving the grass of Kyle’s behind me. Just half an hour ago, Kyle and I shared something I’ve never given to another man—my unprotected body. I know it was a first for him because he told me so after we’d come down from the high of what I felt was the most euphoric lovemaking I had ever experienced in my life, and would probably never experience again. Kyle knew I was on the pill as he’d seen them in my bathroom. For some reason, despite the fact he’s held a huge part of himself in reserve from me, I trusted him not to hurt me and never had a qualm about taking him inside me without a condom.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
To think that experience would change anything with him.
I was desperate, no doubt. He said he was leaving and it was imminent. I was grasping at straws, literally grasping his dick and trying anything I could to make him understand he simply couldn’t leave me behind.
I thought for sure… just absolutely for sure, that while he was inside of me, moving so slowly and whispering words he’d never said to me before, that it would be okay. That he realized I was more important than wherever it was he felt he had to go.
I was so wrong.
As my foot hits my first front porch step with what feels like the force of a sonic boom, I can feel my anger continue to rise rather than dissipate as I put distance between us.
A half an hour ago, I’d been thrown from the summit of Mount Hopeful down into the abyss of Crushed Dreams. And Kyle was the one who threw me down there.
Stupid, stupid, stupid to have ever believed he could give me more than what he’d promised me.
I had orgasmed twice before Kyle joined me, and it was so beautiful and so deeply intimate that I felt completely fulfilled. There were several long moments that he stayed inside of me, holding me tight and running his lips along my shoulder and jaw. It was all going to be okay.
I stomp up the remaining steps of my porch and throw a viciously angry look over my shoulder at Kyle’s house, which is ablaze with lights.
He’s packing up his stuff, after all, and needs to see what he’s doing.
That’s right.
Kyle pulled out of my body and, with his semen leaking out of me, told me that he was leaving right then.
He told me I had to leave his house so he could pack.
He told me he wasn’t going to discuss it when I tried to question him.