I wake in the darkened room alone and sit up suddenly. Alastar is not in bed with me and I feel my anxiety rise to an uncomfortable level.
“Alastar?” I call out.
Silence.
The light shining through the crack in the drapes tells me that it’s morning. I lie back down and hear banging in the kitchen downstairs. My eyes close in relief. Thank God. He’s here. I try to calm myself. He’s here, it’s okay, he’s here.
What a night.
I scrub my hand over my face. I still can’t get my head around what has happened, and to be truthful, I don’t think I ever will. The anxious, sick feeling in my stomach suddenly rises and I run to the bathroom to throw up. I’m hot, clammy, and God, I feel like hell. I lean on the cabinet and stare at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is messed up and my face is pale. I look like a shadow of the person I thought I knew.
Who am I?
Everything I thought I knew about myself is a lie. I slide down the tiles and squat in a ball on the cold, hard tiles in the muted light of the bathroom. I’m unsure how to feel about this. I have no point of reference or anyone I can talk to. I haven’t even watched a movie on this subject. Is it really true or am I losing my mind along with Alastar?
“Emmaline…” Alastar calls from the bedroom.
I put my head into my hands in confusion.
He comes to the bathroom door. “Princess,” he whispers as he drops to the floor next to me. “What is wrong, my love?”
Tears form along with a huge lump in my throat and I shake my head, unable to speak. Through blurry eyes, I stare at him.
“Speak to me, Em. What are you thinking?” “I…” I hesitate to try and pull some sense from my mashed thoughts. “I don’t believe in reincarnation, Twinkle.” I’m so confused.
He smiles sadly and sits next to me against the wall.
“Me, either,” he replies softly.
I look at him and frown. “You don’t?”
He shakes his head. “Nope.”
I turn away and stare straight ahead at the bath. Fear fills me. “It scares me. This whole story scares me,” I murmur.
“I remember how much it scared the hell out of me when I found out, too.” he replies softly. I continue to stare in front of me as a cluster fuck of emotions swirl violently through my head.
“If you don’t believe in reincarnation, how do you explain this?” I ask. “How do you explain us?”
He hesitates for a moment. “Love.”
I frown in question.
“It is the only answer I can think of.”
My eyes meet his.
“Where does the love go when our bodies leave Earth, Em? It can’t just disappear?” he replies softly, as if this is something he has thought long and hard about. I stare at him, unblinking.
“You take the love with you when you leave,” he whispers.
“I…” I stop myself from speaking.
“To be honest, I think that everyone goes through many lives with their loved ones, but are unable to remember it. Have you ever met someone before and had an unusual easiness and instant connection with them, as if you already know them?”
I frown at him.
“Em, listen, I don’t know why we have been put in this position, why we have been given this gift or curse or whatever you want to call it. It’s frightening and overwhelming.”
We both sit on the tiles and stare in front of us.
“But I will take it,” he murmurs.
I glance over at him.
“I will take any gift of time with you.”
I smile softly.
“One life of loving you could never be enough,” he whispers softly.
My eyes glaze over in emotion.
“Don’t be scared,” he whispers as he cups my face in his hand.
“I am,” I whisper, and my bottom lip quivers as I try to hold in my tears.
“I know this is frightening. But it’s also a gift. Don’t you feel slightly empowered knowing that, no matter what packaging we both come in, where in the world we are born, what heritage we come from, our love still shines through and finds its way back to where it belongs?”
I smile.
“That we made history together...” he whispers as he gently kisses my lips.
I smile through my tears.
“We belong together, Emmaline, and no matter how fucked up this story seems to anyone else, it doesn’t matter to me. This is our story.”
I kiss him softly.
“I believe the word soul mate comes from circumstances just like ours.” I smile. This beautiful man.
“You never hear of body mates now, do you?” He raises an eyebrow sarcastically.
I smile broadly.
“A soul does not die with our bodies. And soul mates will always find each other. Every time, in every life.”
“I love you,” I breathe.
“I love you, too.” His eyes close as his lips touch mine.
“Because of us,” I whisper through tears.
He smiles into my lips. “Because of us.”
* * *