She shoots me a look.
“What?” I ask when she doesn’t say anything. “I work best with a list or else I might forget something.”
“You’re really offering to help?”
“Sure. I don’t mind if you put me to work.” I smirk.
She rolls her eyes with a smile. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Lana rattles off a list of random tasks, most of which require me to drive into town. It’s evident that with each task I take on, her tense shoulders drop a little more.
“Be back soon.” I give her a quick kiss on the temple before leaving the house.
It takes me over ninety minutes to finish all the tasks. My car is filled to the max with balloons, food, and a few last-minute supplies Lana forgot at the store.
By the time I make it back inside the guesthouse, it’s been transformed into a Princess Marianna wonderland, with decorations covering almost every surface, streamers hanging across the ceiling in fun patterns, and a half-complete balloon arch behind the cake table.
“You made it!” Lana rushes out of her room and grabs the balloons from my hand. She ties them to the balloon arch to finish it, although she needs my help reaching the tallest point to secure the Princess Marianna inflatable.
“You really go all out.”
She laughs to herself. “Too bad you didn’t see last year’s theme. Cami wanted a Christmas-themed birthday because she didn’t want to wait until December, so I turned the backyard into a winter wonderland. Most of the town donated their Christmas decorations, so it ended up being epic. Blew out the power grid for the night and everything.” She laughs to herself, making my chest warm.
I grab her by the hand and pull her against me. “I wish I had been there.” I place a soft kiss on the top of her head.
She looks up at me with batted lashes. “I do too,” she says and places a quick kiss on my cheek before wiggling out of my embrace, brushing against my cock in the process.
I groan. “Cruel woman.”
“Sorry! Gotta get ready!” She darts away toward her room with a laugh, leaving me wondering how the hell I spent six years away from the one person who made me feel whole.
And how do I make sure I don’t spend another day without her ever again?
My anxiety about spending time with Delilah, Violet, Wyatt, and the rest of the town who hates me intensifies as the clock gets closer to noon. The more I help Lana carry everything outside, the more real the whole birthday party becomes.
The first shot of vodka was only meant to take the edge off. I wasn’t proud of sneaking back inside the guesthouse, but the fear of what might go wrong overrode my pride.
Music playing and people talking outside only makes my anxiety worse, which fuels the vicious cycle.
I’m not happy with my moment of weakness, which drives me to drink some more. It’s a pathetic sight. Me sitting on the floor, nursing a bottle of vodka while Merlin stares from the other side of the room, secretly judging me. I don’t stop until the burn in my throat rivals the one in my chest.
By the time I pull myself together and go outside, the party is in full swing. I slide my sunglasses into place to hide any signs of my secret.
Wyatt lifts his chin in my direction before resuming his conversation with a couple other men I don’t recognize.
“I was wondering where you went. I’ve been looking all over for you.” Lana holds out a plastic inner tube for me. “Cami was hoping you could help her with this one.”
I grab the inflatable from her hands without speaking.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yup.” I stick the little plastic nozzle in my mouth and start blowing.
Her head tilts. “Are you sure?”
I nod.
She places her hand against my cheek. Her furrowed brows add to the shitty feeling brewing in my chest. “What’s wrong?”
The fact that I drank despite knowing how much you hate it.
I lean away from her touch. “Just tired.”
“That’s a shame then because I had plans for us tonight.” A teasing smile tugs at her lips.
“I’m sure I’ll get a second wind.”
She rises on the tips of her toes and kisses my cheek. “I hope so. After our last time, I owe you.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I’d expect no less from you.” She flashes me a flirty smile that has my cock rising into action. “But you have to leave before Cami wakes up. If she catches us together, she will go into wedding-planning mode.”
I laugh. “Deal.”
Something in Lana shifts at the sound. Her nose twitches and her mouth pulls down into a frown. “Are you…” She steals my sunglasses off my face. “Really? At a kid’s party?”
My stomach drops. “I can explain.”
“Why bother?” She throws my sunglasses at me before she turns around. Her hips sway as she walks away, tempting me to grab her so she can hear me out.
And say what? You drank because you couldn’t handle a six-year-old’s birthday party?
Right. Because that doesn’t sound pathetic at all.
You’re no better than her sister, making her upset with your selfish choices and lack of control.
The thought of relating to someone like Antonella only feeds on my fears, allowing them to grow until I have no choice but to escape.
Did you really expect anything less from someone who is so damn good at fucking up?
Nope. Not at all.
My anxiety and self-loathing fester and grow with each passing hour of Cami’s birthday party. For the most part, I keep to myself, mainly because Wyatt, Delilah, and Violet made it obvious from the start that they don’t want anything to do with me. I know what my old friends think of me. It’s obvious in the way they stare.
I’m the drunk. The washed-up athlete. The man who broke their best friend’s heart.
I collected more bad titles than I ever did championships.
Even Lana has done her best to avoid me since she found out about my drinking. She and the other parents keep to the covered seating area that was added to the dock when I had it redone. The boat slip beside it is empty, although the extra room gives the kids a place to practice their jumps into the water.
No one comes to talk to me, minus Cami, who makes an effort to check on me at least once before running back to her friends.
The icy glares and whispers taunt my demons out of hiding, and I’m driven to fill my half-empty cup of soda to the top with vodka.
If Lana is going to be mad at me, I might as well not suffer through the buildup. Slowly, after two trips inside the guesthouse, my muscles loosen and the thick knot in my throat disappears. The warmth spreading through my veins replaces the cold chill, justifying my reason to drink in the first place.
Peace.
I’m not sure how long I sit by myself, swaying to the country music pouring out of Lana’s portable speaker, but at some point Wyatt sneaks up on me.
“Here.” Wyatt drops a cheeseburger in front of me before taking a seat. “Eat it and sober up.”