“I know. It’s a miracle your girl made it out in one piece.”
She nearly didn’t. “While we’re on the topic of crazy people, how is Janice?”
“I wouldn’t know, and I’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Besides I told you a few days later at lunch that I didn’t fuck her, I just let her into my apartment. Which was the worst, most terrible idea ever. Why didn’t you come down there and save me from her, bro?”
“Hey, I warned you to the best of my ability. I even let you know about the picture she sent me.”
His face fell at my mention of the picture. “That picture of her sucking cock? It wasn’t a picture of my cock. I don’t know what she sent you, but it wasn’t a picture of her and me. I did not let her anywhere near my dick even though she offered. Several times.” He grimaced. “I really wish you hadn’t deleted it so I could take a look.”
When we’d met for lunch a few weeks ago James had been adamant about no sex with Janice that night. I’d deleted the picture mere minutes after Janice sent it, so there was no way to verify whatever twisted plotting she was up to. “I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t think it through in the heat of the moment. I just wanted to cut ties with her, and then warn you before I got rid of the evidence. Maybe it wasn’t you in the picture. Maybe I just assumed it was because I knew she was with you when she sent it to me. I didn’t analyze the fucking thing.”
“You know what they say about assuming things, Caleb?”
“Yeah. I made an ass out of you and me. Sorry about that. My heart was in the right place though—I thought of your dad and didn’t want it to blow up on you . . .” I let that ominous cloud of paternal doom descend for a moment before deflecting. “How wasted were you?”
His eyes narrowed at the mention of his father. The judge. James’s relationship with his dad was about as warm and cozy as mine was with my mother. “On my fucking ass, apparently, because I don’t remember much about the preliminary activities that led to her showing up at my place,” he said bitterly.
“I broke up with her after we came back from the American Cancer Society benefit and she went ballistic. By the time she left the penthouse, she’d given me the black eye and trashed my bathroom like something out of fucking Fatal Attraction.”
James dropped his head and shook it back and forth. “She told me about that, I remember now. She went to town on the bathroom, thinking of things to do to mess with your head. Like toothpaste on the walls, and towels in the toilet, and destroying a whole box of condoms. Which sucks, because the good ones are expensive.”
Destroyed condoms? “Janice didn’t mess with the condoms. I checked the cupboard where I keep them and the box hadn’t been touched.”
“Well, that’s good then . . .” He trailed off and tilted his head as if he was trying to remember. James had a really good memory, too, even while under the influence, so I tended to believe him when he said something important. And this was fucking important.
“James, what did Janice say?”
“She said she hated you, and that you would be sorry you ever fucked her over. Then she told me about trashing your bathroom and all the shit she did in there, and how much fun she had doing it. She said she wished she could see your face when you found out what she did to ruin your life.”
“She said that? Janice said she was ruining my life?” Something wasn’t right here with this story. “James, bro, you have to remember for me. A minute ago—why did you say she destroyed a box of condoms?”
James rubbed his head with the tips of his fingers. “Because—she said she did, Caleb. She told me about using a pin or a brooch from her dress and how she poked holes in them—”
Oh, my God. That is exactly the kind of psycho shit Janice would do, too. The bitch put them back in the box all neat and tidy so I wouldn’t suspect.
I jumped up from the chair in his office and grabbed the copies. “Bro, I’m glad I stopped in here today, but I gotta go. Thanks for the intel on Patten so far. Keep digging.” I nodded to the file on his desk and left him sitting there still rubbing his head looking disturbed.
As I waved good-bye to Mrs. Kennedy, I remembered the wisdom in keeping up to date with one’s friends.
You never know what important news they might have to share with you.
Jesus. Christ.