A flash of movement caught my attention, drawing my eyes away from Liv. Then a weight so heavy that I thought my chest would break hit me. I saw Mia’s body seizing on the floor, her hands flailing wildly until one landed in a pool of blood. My heart lurched as I followed it up to Flint’s lifeless body. His cold, dead stare somehow managed to remain filled with quiet disappointment.
My lungs burned, and regardless how hard I fought, I couldn’t catch my breath.
Liv’s scream suddenly cut off, snapping my attention back to her. She was still being held captive in Davenport’s arms, only now the fear was gone and a tender smile covered her beautiful adult face. Her voice was still that of Liv the child as she uttered the familiar words, “I’m safe with you, Quarry.”
Davenport pulled the trigger.
Drenched in sweat, I shot up in bed. My stomach rolled, and bile crept up my throat. I scrambled over Liv and into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before throwing up.
I was vaguely aware of the light coming on and then a cool, damp washcloth being pressed against the back of my neck.
“I’m safe with you, Quarry,” echoed through my deaf ears.
My stomach heaved again. Oh, God.
Closing my eyes, I attempted to breathe, but visions of my nightmare projected on the backs of my eyelids made it impossible.
I had a minor success and managed to stop puking. Shifting back against the side of the bathtub, I took the cloth from her hand and used it to wipe my mouth.
Liv squatted in front of me. Just the sight of her opened my airway and breathed me back to life.
“Feeling sick?” she signed.
“I… Fuck.” I gave up and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her into a hard hug.
She came willingly, even straddling my lap to allow me more contact. I was naked, and she was only wearing my oversized T-shirt, but I wasn’t sure my cock would ever get hard again after a nightmare like that.
She let me hold her for several minutes before she finally leaned away. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I answered curtly, tucking her face into my neck and ending any further discussion.
Fucking hell. What had just happened inside my head?
I closed my eyes, but the vision of that gun at her temple leveled me and caused my stomach to heave again. She scrambled off my lap, but I didn’t move back to the toilet. Nor did I close my eyes again.
Staring blankly up at the ceiling, I felt her dab another cool washcloth across my forehead.
Lifting her hands into my line of sight, she asked, “You want me to get you something to drink?”
I wanted a lobotomy.
I shook my head at her question.
“You want to try to get back in bed? I can get a trash can in case you get sick again.”
No. I never wanted to go get in that bed again for the rest of my life. Insomnia had never been so appealing. That dream…
What time is it? I silently signed, because I didn’t trust my voice.
She leaned out of the bathroom door to find the clock. “Five.”
Gripping the tub, I pushed myself to my feet. “I think I’m just gonna go ahead in to the gym. Get a head start on things.”
She pressed a hand to my chest. “You just woke up puking. You can’t go to the gym. Call in sick.”
“Nah, I’m good. I just…” I stalled, not willing to tell her that I’d just watched my biggest fears play out in my head.
She looked up at me expectantly.
“I guess I ate something bad last night. I’ll survive.”
At the sink, I turned the water on, splashing it on my face and then pasting up my toothbrush.
I participated in the rest of the conversation only by watching her hands sign in the mirror.
“I ate the exact same thing you did last night.”
I shrugged.
“Why don’t you just lie down and give it an hour or so? You aren’t supposed to be at the gym until seven.”
I shrugged again before rinsing my mouth and then moving to my closet.
When I opened the door, Christmas Tree Cakes rained from the top. “Shit,” I mumbled. “Any chance you can move those to your closet?” I bit out, my fears shifting to anger for no other reason than I didn’t know how to deal with it.
She was trying to catch my attention as I swirled around the room, but I couldn’t slow down.
I was desperate to get out of there.
Away from her.
Away from the memories of failing her.
And, because of that, facing my greatest fear of all—losing her.
Less than a minute later, I’d tugged on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, grabbed my keys and hearing aids, pecked her on the lips, and swiftly left.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” I whispered to myself as I heard the deadbolt on our front door click from the outside.
Quarry was full of shit. He hadn’t eaten something bad the night before. But what I couldn’t figure out was why he was acting like I had something to do with his getting sick. At first, he’d clung to me so tight that I could barely breathe. Then, after that, he had been so standoffish that it was as if he’d decided I’d poisoned his food.
I had still been signing to him as he rushed out the door—a brisk kiss on the lips my only acknowledgement.
So freaking weird.