Flint: Oh look! The great and powerful Oz agrees with me. How’d that go again, Q? Boom? LOL!
Quarry replied with a picture of Flint taking a hard right to the chin back in his boxing days.
Me: You two need to grow up. Q, wear the damn suit. No tie and with your black Chucks. You can take the jacket off after we get there. BOOM! I win. Now, leave me alone. I have to finish up here so I can go get my hair done.
Flint: Thanks, Liv.
Me: No prob. Later.
Quarry: I just cut you out of my will.
Me: I’ll survive off the money I’ve been swindling out of your bank account.
Quarry: Ha. Ha. Ha. So funny.
Me: Who’s kidding? My heels aren’t cheap, and you pay shit.
Quarry: And here we go again. You aren’t getting a raise!
Flint: He can’t afford a raise. I went up 2% last month.
Me: 2% for Flint is my entire salary! What the hell?
Quarry: No hablo Inglés.
Me: No seas un cabrón taca?o y dame el maldito aumento!
Flint: Runs to Google Translate.
Quarry: Waste of time. They don’t do all the cuss words. I tried.
Me: Fine. No raise. But you should know, it’s your month to pay our water bill. I will be taking approximately 427 baths, washing 333 loads of laundry, and flushing the toilet 8422 times. I have a weak bladder. Sucks for you!
Flint: You’re going to bathe over twenty three times a day?
Me: If I have to!
Flint: While doing eleven loads of laundry?
Me: Hey, don’t doubt my commitment. I’m all about sticking it to The Man.
Quarry: Good to know we at least have transparency in the workplace. But, as The Man, I’m curious how you’re going to manage to pee 280 times a day.
Me: Oh, I forgot to mention I’ll also be drinking 1298 oz of water. Cha-ching! You sure you don’t want to just give me the money and save us all the trouble?
Quarry: Nah. This sounds like more fun. See you tonight.
Me: Later, Q
Quarry: Later, Rocky.
Shaking my head, I hurried toward the after-school room, continuously praying that this guy had actually read the help wanted ad all the other people I’d interviewed had seemed to struggle with.
“Sorry I’m late!” I said as I entered the room.
A tall, older man with salt-and-pepper hair and blue eyes greeted me with a warm smile. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, pushing to his feet and extending his hand in my direction. “I’m Don Blake. I’m here about the assistant position.”
After returning his shake, I lifted my hands and signed, Nice to meet you too. I’m Liv James.
His smile grew as his hands fluidly replied, Nice to meet you too. I believe we spoke on the phone earlier.
“Oh thank God!” I rushed a relieved breath. “You actually know how to sign.”
He tipped his head in amusement. “I figured that would be a requirement to assist the director of the ASL program.”
“You would be amazed! I had a guy come in earlier and the only sign language he knew was a song he learned at church when he was eight.”
He narrowed his eyes in question as he settled back into the chair, signing, Jesus loves me. This I know. For the Bible tells me so?
“Yes! That one!”
He let out a deep laugh then signed as he spoke. “Wow. I didn’t know my competition would be so steep. Should I just leave now?”
And he was fluent! Maybe that first guy hadn’t been wrong. Jesus really did love me.
“You’re hired!” I yelled. “And, when I say hired, I mean, I’ll be working you to the bone for free. I do, however, bring Starbucks every day. Oh, and baked goods on the days my roommate doesn’t demolish them. So there will be perks.”
“Now there’s no way I could turn down an offer like that,” he teased with a grin.
“You have no idea how excited I am right now. I’ve spent weeks trying to find an assistant who could help out on the nights I can’t be here. I adore teaching, but with my other job, I just can’t keep up with all the tutoring and grading. Plus, I travel a lot, so I need someone who could cover some group exercises on the nights I’m away.”
“I should be able to handle that without a problem. What do you do for your other job?”
I swayed my head from side to side in consideration. “I’m an assistant.”
He chuckled. “So you need an assistant so you can be an assistant to someone else?”
“Pretty much.” I shrugged. “My best friend is a hearing-impaired professional boxer. What started out as translating for him during post-fight interviews as a favor quickly turned into a full-time job. Now, I’m his translator, personal assistant, chef, maid, stylist, and, most recently, acting referee when he gets into arguments with his brothers. That alone could be a full-time job.”
“Wow. You sound busy.”
“You could definitely say that, but I love it. I’ve been doing most of those things for the last four years anyway. At least, now, he pays me. It’s fun too. Quarry and I have been friends forever, so it’s more like just hanging out than really working.”
He leaned in close. “Wait. Quarry Page?”
“That would be him. Are you a boxing fan?”